If I hurry, I know I’ll miss the moment.
By rushing, I’ll be too invested in the future than in the “now.” I would be forward-looking, not looking at the present.
And so, I tell myself to slow down, put on the brakes and develop a mindset which says “no hurry,” as I begin to meditate. Don’t try to squeeze in a little relaxation when, what I really want, is to touch the “truth” inside. I can meditate lightly before starting an unpleasant task; it always makes things go easier. But when I want to seek truth at a deeper level, I make the time.
Let me tell you, it is so worth it!
I have tasted that “truth.” Not often. But, more so recently, after realizing I must go against my learned nature — the one that urges me to hurry, to compete, to produce, as well as to fight, to dash to the finish line. I now “surrender” to the moment in order to “be” in the moment.
The very word “surrender” goes against everything I ever learned. I’m uncomfortable with it. Don’t like that three-syllable word. I can tell you that no soldier worth his or her salt would ever think of surrender in combat. You would oppose it, fight it, use creative ideas to avoid and get around it, but “surrender?”
Now, however, I have come to terms with it. I actually look forward to it. To genuflect and bow to a Force greater and wiser than myself. I merge with what psychologists call the feminine side of myself and let the self become gentle, relaxed, and more importantly, open to the present.
It is hard for me. And, It takes time.
I can’t just shut my eyes and automatically imbed myself with it. I’m Greek. It takes me longer to get things done, but when I do, I feel like an Alexander with abilities to either conquer the world . . . . or . . . . help . . . . l i b e r a t e . . . . it.
* * * * *
“I’ve tasted heaven,” I recently told my Community of Zen practitioners. “I have learned the secret of life, the purpose for our existence.”
There were smirks here and there and a few glances that spoke volumes. “He’s at it again,” they seemed to say. They’re loving folks, but accept what I say with a grain of salt. I am different. I feel different. Feel a little “touched.”
“I knew the answer all the time,” I added. I told ’em I came across it after removing the “shackles” of established Religion and re-establishing ties with a small and vulnerable child within. It all happened at a funeral I attended for my last surviving uncle.
The process involved three steps, I told the small group about to meditate.
First, you must get to Know God. But you can’t hurry it!
Second, Love God.
And third, Serve God.
God is Love; He is the embodiment of Love and Compassion. He . . . (She) . . . resides within. [I loved the book, the “Shack,” which presents God the Father not as a white-bearded-Zeus-like god of the old testament, but as a bountiful African American woman who loves to cook for Her Creatures and all the angels in Her Creation]. All Love comes from the same Source.
The Greeks called this type of Love “Agape.”
And the more you visit this Source, the more you’ll get to “Know” the Creator. Unconditional LOVE . . . . Without . . . . Limits.
* * * * *
Love for yourself.
That’s the starting Point.
Of Your Past Acts (and omissions).
As well as any future Acts (et al).
* * * * *
Love erupts from within when I contact the Divine Light within. The Seat of Goodness.
I feel my body expanding, almost bloating, and I am unable to contain the powerful thrust of love pulsating from one part of my body to another. Love for me, love for you, love for the entire universe, now and forever, world without end.
I compare my inability to contain this driving force to that of a geyser, Old Faithful, which spurts out what becomes a healing power drop by precious, delicious drop.
And it is all for me.
Not to keep, but to give away.
You see, I surrender, and make a gift of all of that invaluable commodity to the Cosmos, the Universe, to that single young or old person out there somewhere who thirsts for, but lacks the ability to sip the Source within without receiving ridicule, suspicion or even threat of the removal of LOVE in their love-less lives.
I believe Love becomes (and IS) energy unbounded by time and space and can aid and comfort all . . . .
. . . including (but not limited to) my friends and enemies; to lovers and foes, and to political soul-mates as well as those of an opposite camp.
But, you can not rush any of this.
You can’t do it while in a hurry. Or with a group unmindful of the Higher Force’s existence in each and every one of us.
I like this.
It was the very first blog post to appear at the contoveros site.
Keep up the good work, my young veteran friend!