Reliving the presence of love again & again

I remembered what love once meant to me and I thought I’d share it with those of us who might have forgotten it.

I’m talking about the love that hits you upside the head when you’re not looking; the type that won’t let you think of anyone else besides him or her; the love that you wish your lover would feel but you’re too afraid to hope for a schmuck like yourself.

You were not looking for love when it found you. You liked the person upon meeting, and you felt a connection. It could have been a connection with others you were close with in some other lifetime. You found yourself laughing and enjoying their company and looking forward to the next meeting to sit near them, or to simply be in their company when you did something that offered mutual entertainment or mutual comfort or maybe a little of both.

Suddenly, you get their e-mail and you casually write a note. You never mention love, but only how much you enjoyed their company, their brains, maybe even their looks. Hell, you’re surprised that you even asked for their contact info. You hardly know ’em, yet you wanted to share what you did know about ’em and about yourself.

They write it down and reveal a little more about themselves, explaining how they came up with that contact name. You like the story even before the explanation ends, and you know in your heart that you’ll contact them immediately because you don’t want to lose the paper it was written on.

You send what you believe is an innocuous message.

And then you get a reply.

They say something out of the ordinary. Their words somehow alter your reality; you start to see them differently.

hit upside thge head

Love hits you when you least expect it!

Is the last statement they made more flirtatious then what you had initially thought it was? Was something “flirty” about your words — their content or their meaning? Did you subconsciously send a message you never would have thought of sending when you first befriended them?

And then you send a message which you “intend” to be flirtation. Next, you get a response that’s an outright confession of something friends might never say. Lovers might, but not friends.

A Teutonic plate now shifts and the world somehow changes. It’s a lot better than it was just a moment ago.

And, well there you have it. The beginning of a romance you never knew could grow with that person.

Looking back, you see how the Universe had brought the two of you together. I remember sharing a little story about Carl Jung, the eminent psychologist, with my budding love, and she not only joined in my adoration of the wise man, but told me his spirit guide’s name. “Philomena!”

And that wonderful and gifted person next told me that she had a picture of Jung’s guide on the desk . . .

How could I not love person like that?

I remember how I wanted to shout out to the world and everyone in it that “I am in love.” I spoke gently, however and watched as my listeners seemed to feel love grow within themselves as I offered the foolish nonsense of a young lover. Starry-eyed and a little mushy. Feeling compassion and nothing but an over-riding sense of empathy for one and all.

The world was as good as it could get right then and there. “Let me die with this feeling in my heart and the thought of love on my mind,” I recalled praying to the Almighty.


Too bad it could not last. But a long time after the powerful sense of love faded, you discovered that you were still friends. And you’d remember that person and all the others that your shared love with, when the next “love of your life” comes along and you’re hit upside the head again.

(Happy Veterans Day all you lovers!)

10 comments on “Reliving the presence of love again & again

  1. Thank you! You have caused me to re-read a highlighted section of page 20 of my worn copy of “Memories, Dreams, Reflections” by Carl Jung A brief excerpt from that highlighted section: “Am I the one who is sitting on the stone, or am I the stone on which he is sitting?” It has some relevance to my spirit and to the knowing of oneness of my soul with all.

    • contoveros says:

      You surprise me a little every time we converse, Cassandra. I didn’t know you were such a fan of Carl Jung. He became my savior when I hit rock bottom a number of years ago and read his teachings. I started to write a Blog (See my reference to him in my very second Blog post for Contoveros:

      PsychoHeresy: CG Jung’s Legacy to the Church#

      Jung’s Spirit Guide

      “Because Jung turned psychoanalysis into a type of religion, he is also considered to be a transpersonal psychologist as well as a psychoanalytical theorist. He delved deeply into the occult, practiced necromancy, and had daily contact with disembodied spirits, which he called archetypes. Much of what he wrote was inspired by such entities. Jung had his own familiar spirit whom he called Philemon. At first he thought Philemon was part of his own psyche, but later on he found that Philemon was more than an expression of his own inner self. Jung says:

      “Philemon and other figures of my fantasies brought home to me the crucial insight that there are things in the psyche which I do not produce, but which produce themselves and have their own life. Philemon represented a force which was not myself. In my fantasies I held conversations with him, and he said things which I had not consciously thought. For I observed clearly that it was he who spoke, not I. . . . Psychologically, Philemon represented superior insight. He was a mysterious figure to me. At times he seemed to me quite real, as if he were a living personality. I went walking up and down the garden with him, and to me he was what the Indians call a guru.”*

      (# Internet article on Christianity Googled by same title.)

      *Jung, Memories, Dreams, Reflections, op. cit., p. 183.


      I am enriched in being lifted by his thoughts.

      And yours’ too Cassandra!

      • This is amazing Michael… I call my guides sources and resources. They speak to me through unwitting people, and other sentient beings as well as through “inanimate” objects. Along with Carl another major source is Felice Leonardo Buscaglia. His book “Speaking of Love” calmed the pain of rage in me and readied me for Hermann Hesse’s book “Siddhartha”. Most impressive in the reformation of my life was a section of Book Eight of Siddhartha. This was a piece of myself that had wept for the entire world (yes, the ENTIRE world) and the question “Why” was at least quieted. Thank you!

        • contoveros says:

          Siddhartha spoke to me too. I had opened myself to Buddhism some years earlier and the book confirmed the path for me. I knew my journey was taking me to a rich resource where I could find many of the answers I had been searching for all of my life.

          The Buddha is inside each and every one of us. Exposing ourselves to his teachings and to those who follow his guide has been the saving grace for me. They’re called the “three jewels” in Buddhism. The Buddha, the Dharma and the Sangha. Dharma simply means the teachings and the Sangha is the group of like-minded people you can open yourself to and not feel humiliated with.

          • I am a Sangha risk taker in that I open myself to many good souls. I tend to speak to the part of that soul that is able to absorb my meaning. Once in a while the soul that I speak to does an amazing leap. This is a gift to me to witness that occasional leap. Because I am fairly grounded, I seem to experience humiliation very seldom, briefly and at very low levels. I guess that happens as a result of Dharma accumulating over the years.

          • I should add that I have so very much to learn and for this I am so grateful.

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