I just completed a list of sources for my son to use once I casually die.
I mean depart, expire, fade away, kick the bucket, enter death’s door but not “pass away.”
No Plans to Soften an Inevitable Exercise
The great philosophical Comedian George Carlin preached against the use of the phrase “pass on,” because it masked the truth, making discussions about death less honest. He said that It tended to soften the impact of one’s lose.
He believed it was important to confront death directly rather than sugarcoat it.
And so, I contacted every source I had for savings, investments and CDs making sure I had the correct account numbers as well as their phone numbers. I then ensured that my son Nicholas was the beneficiary and requested that he be added if such information was missing.
Boy Did I Feel Good!
I did it all in one setting, using both my cell phone and laptop computer and then writing down all the details on a “post it stamp” at my home in Conshohocken, PA.
Now I need to buy a USB Device, also known as a Flash Drive, and share all of the information onto it and give the device to my son.
Wait a Minute.
I just remembered that he will have to contact every firm where I have automatic payments set up. That would include monthly charity contribitions as well.
In addition, he will have to call the Veterans Administration to halt disability payments from my Vietnam War service as well as the Social Security Administration and two firms that have been providing payments from my deceased wife’s newspaper pension fund.
One of them is for $14.27 a month for when she worked one year at the old Philadelphia Bulletin Newspaper. The other more larger amount payment comes from her pensions while being a copy eiditor for the Philadelphia Inquirer as well as the Daily News.
Well, I’ll just dig around a little more for each payment source sometime shortly before I depart. But I’m in no hurry. Neither is my son the last time I checked.
Contoveros 
I hope this moment is many years away, Micheal. And simultaneously understand the need for and importance of the steps you are taking and safety measures you are putting into order for your son.
I always appreciate you and your voice.
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I got sometime before the Grim Reaper shows up at my house and I want to thank you for your kind words. But right now I am looking into life insurance in case there could be a payout sooner than I think.
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I am thinking of you and sending you care and good wishes today and each day. ❤️
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Patricia Muronoff Kalafut
I hope that time is far into the future but it is something we have to think about.
Michael J Contos
Yeah, Patrcia, we all have to think about it and then let it be, but only after we create some fortifications against the inevitable.
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The following comments were shared on Nextdoor:
Bonnie Gribschaw
Congratulations. You are doing better than most Americans.
Michael J Contos
Bonnie
Thanks. I believe it’s the right thing to do for any parent who reaches a certain age and a goal that everyone retiring should endeavor to accomplish.
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Michael (and wife) Kalick
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽Make sure you have your advanced directives filled out and readily available too and designate your son the POA. So much people don’t do in preparation for their inevitable death and just shrug it off as someone else’s problem/job. Kudos to you!
Michael J Contos
Michael
Thanks for the tip. I got my advanced directive with the Veterans Administration. My son is named in the paperwork. I will also remind him to get both a death certificate and what is called a “short certificate.” In addition, I wrote my own obituary for him to use when contacting the newspapers and anyone else who wants to see certain things I dealt with over my lifetime.
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Ann Las
Good thinking and good actions! Take care
Michael J Contos
Ann
Thinking and then taking the next step of “acting” can help all of us achieve a lot!
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El N.
And give him a heads up that he will owe the state of Pennsylvania 4 1/2% on most of what you’re leaving him (other than life insurance) since he’s a child of yours. Hopefully since he’s named beneficiary on your accounts, he’ll have the liquid assets to cover the tax. If you’re leaving him a house it can be a big chunk of change to come up with within a short period especially if the house hasn’t sold or he wants to keep it.
Michael J Contos
El
Pennsylvania charges 4 and 1/2 Percent on funds left to a beneficiary? Never knew that unlikable fact. The only life insurance I have is $10,000 from the VA for my disability from the Vietnam War. The house is all paid for but he has to start paying School an Property Taxes. I was exempt from those payments for being a disabled veteran.
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Bernadette P.
Just another thing you may want to consider doing research on. Pennsylvania does not currently allow Transfer on Death (TOD) deeds for real estate. While a bill (HB2124) was introduced in early 2026 to adopt the Uniform Real Property Transfer on Death Act, it has not yet passed, meaning you cannot currently use a TOD deed to transfer PA property outside of probate. Key
Takeaways for Pennsylvania Property No Real Estate TOD: You cannot name a beneficiary on a deed to automatically inherit PA real estate upon death. Financial Accounts Allowed: You can add a “payable-on-death” (POD) or TOD designation to bank accounts, stocks, and bonds. Alternatives to Probate:
To avoid probate in PA, consider a revocable living trust or joint tenancy with rights of survivorship. Alternative Options for Property Transfer Joint Tenancy with Right of Survivorship: Co-owners (such as spouses) automatically inherit the property, avoiding probate. Revocable Living Trust: Property is transferred to a trust, which dictates distribution after death, skipping probate. Life Estate Deed:
You retain the right to live in the home, but ownership passes to a “remainderman” upon death. Philadelphia “Deed Deceased” Program: A, special, low-cost program to update property deeds for surviving spouses. Disclaimer: Real estate laws are complex. Consult an estate planning attorney to determine the best method for your situation.
Michael J Contos
Bernadette
It seems you learn something new every day. Including what will happen shortly after your last day in the house that you live with your son. Gotta contact my county probate office to get squared away. He’s been living with me and his family (five kids!) for more than a year now and it has become “their” home as well as mine.
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Gloria Parks
Don’t forget to put your home in trust for him. (Not your will) so he does not have to deal with taxes and fees from the government. And no one will be able to steal the house from him. Talk to your wealth adviser about that. Good luck!
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Carolyn B.
Don’t forget to put all your passwords to all those banks, subscriptions etc. with verification emails and the secret words related to get in. ESP the password to your phone. I was just reading about this this morning. I ordered the Lamorial Planner and it gives all the prompts for input of information.
Do you know any good real estate planning attorney. I contacted one Philadelphia attorney’s office and for them to do a revocable trust it started at $5000!!
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I did the same just before retiring last year. Tried to get it all done: arrangements for cremation, plus doing up a will and powers of attorney. Wrote down all of the accounts and subscriptions I could think of, forgot to copy it before sending it to my attorney.
Your post remained me that a lot of it needs updating (and pray tell, what do we do with accounts that use passkeys instead of passwords? Going to have to look that one up)
Anyway, good on you for taking care of it all. Must be such a relief. We just don’t want our loved ones scrambling around after we die, and suddenly having creditors hounding them.
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I’ve been saying this forever… being prepared is the most loving thing you could do. My mom died at the age of 49. Prior to that, she experienced two near death moments becuase of her health. She never prepared. It was a different time. And I do not blame her — but, becuase she did not prepare for the possibility of her passing (I disagree with George Carlin about a lot of things) an 12 year old kid ended up on the streets. Yeah, that kid was me. My point is not to make this about ME, but to chime in and say YES! Everyone should have a plan. You should let people know your desires when you go – even write it down. Of course people will have legal wills. But yes, also have a plan to make it easy to find your passwords and such. Oh, and if your son has access to your Bank Account, he can stop all transactions with a phone call. He will then present them with a death certificate and they will be able to close the account as well. Your deposits will not be able to go through. And then, he can call the VA. He’ll figure out the details. The real concern is emotional and walking through the loss of YOU…. ❤️
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Thank you my dear Carmen. I apologize for denigrating the term “em>pass on</em>” and want to extend my deepest sympathy for what you had to go through with the passing of your mother.
I feel good about accomplishing what I can call my “bereavement list.” I’m sure my son will appreciate it. My mother and father – (20-year difference in their age group) – both died at the age of 78. So did my second oldest brother.
I will be approaching that age sometime sooner than later and I’m not afraid of that ultimate endeavor. Neither one of my parents had a will. Both died while visiting my brother in the San Francisco area, and I arranged for both of their bodies to be sent back to my Pennsylvania home for services with their individual families from my dad’s side in New York and my mother’s side in New Jersey to attend.
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Hi Carmen. I just wrote a comment about what to do with those accounts that use passkeys instead of passwords. Or two-factor authentications? Doesn’t matter if you just cut everyone off at the source: your bank and credit accounts. Never thought of that before.
I think I recall you mentioning before that the lack of a plan from your mother had awful consequences – but if so I’d forgotten. So sorry you went through that.
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Hey…. I am just noticing that I’m not getting alerts when you post. I don’t know what that is about. I do apologize if I’ve missed any of your posts. What comment are you talking about regarding passkeys? I’m a bit confused. I apologize.
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I haven’t posted in quite some time. Been going through some harsh stuff lately – which I’ll probably post about soon.
The passkey stuff referenced a comment i sent to Michael here in response to his post. : )
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Oh, understood. Sending you a hug and hoping things get easier real soon. 🤗🥰
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Our loved ones have too many scrambling things in their lives right now for us to add to when we depart. Glad to hear you got it all together for your folks. But I never thought you were of the age to retire. I see you as a young buck wanderingaround the world and having fun. (On the Internet, of course.)
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Well thank you. : ) I’m definitely old enough to retire. Wasn’t going to, as our union had finally obtained a really decent wage for us. I worked as a supervisor in IT, so the pay was quite good – and is the only thing I’m missing about work.
But the work itself didn’t interest me anymore and there were a bunch of younger guys who were all passionate about where were going, as our group was tasked with bringing Apple devices into our network. But as much as an Apple fan boy that I am – there was no spark in it. Didn’t seem fair to those guys to try and lead when my heart wasn’t there.
Besides I’d like to do a few things that work kept me from, so eventually it became a no-brainer.
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