I must go.
And so, I simply say goodbye.
With tears in my heart and the vivid memory of what we had together, I tell you that I am going away.
Our Love grew slowly in June, caught fire over this summer, and reached a height I never thought could be humanly possible, yet simmered last month and began to cool the last few weeks.
It came to an end we both knew could happen, despite the hope we felt that such a startling light would shine on us forever.
What we had — the joy, the bliss, the forgiveness — began to wane as others confronted us in our relationship, perhaps jealously suggesting the belief that such a beautiful feeling we created was nothing more than another illusion.
They fired logic, hard and cold facts, and an analytic inquisition into our feelings, and, while our Love prevailed a few golden moments, it showed its frailty, as cracks appeared and started to spread, damaging the concrete resolve we thought we acquired to keep what we had forever.
It became just another childhood dream.
A wish upon a star, a visit to the Emerald City.
You agreed with the verdict rendered by those judging us. All we really had was nothing more than a fantasy, a nonsense balloon we raised with unguided energy, created from our passion to rise above earthly desires and concerns and steer the vessel higher and higher until we felt that comforting blessing from the Cosmos.
I’ll never see you again. Or touch that moment when sparks flew all around us.
I have already started walking a different path, one that assures me of no future security, benefits or a similar taste of Love. But each step I take draws me closer to a realization of who I am, why I am here, and what Destiny may modestly hold out for me.
I will seek a new community to meditate, persons with whom I can offer the little insight I might have developed from our “practice.” Our 4-member group no longer exists, and the Love we raised through weekly meditations can never, ever be reproduced. Goodbye My Summer Loves.
I wish you all happiness on your paths.
I wish you all new Love.
Four of us meditated the summer of 2009 and rose to a rare spiritual level. We sailed as high as any group I have ever sat with in group meditation. But, the group got larger, less spiritual, and I knew my journey was calling me to go elsewhere. This was my swan song, my goodbye!