Opening up one’s Self can be hazardous to your health.
I really mean that. Writing from the heart, digging deep into the well of emotions and getting in touch with that true Self can leave you vulnerable. A little weak. Even dazed.
It’s like “blood-letting.” You reach inside, focusing on a part that has rarely seen the light of day, or a memory that gets recalled only when you see a phrase or two on another’s blog and so you must go within to retrieve that just-now-remembered something from your inner Self.
The process involves trust. A trust that the revelation you offer won’t be viewed with scorn, held up to ridicule or used against you in some other forum, some other means of prosecution, persecution or indictment.
What if your offering appears unacceptable, what if it encroaches on someone’s sensibilities, some “untouchable” area where you’re viewed as being simply “tasteless,” or worse yet, “irrelevant?“
I pour my heart out when I write. That’s if I can reach the core inside and let that cocky little kid strut his stuff out in the open. I like him, but he can get me into trouble with name-calling, taking too many risks, and now and then wanting a little more red wine than the night before. But if he can roam free, like a bantam rooster flying to a rooftop and chasing one hen after another, then I can feel free to innovate, to imagine, to create. Free to shout “I LOVE YOU!” or warn not to” piss me off” with the same amount of vigor. Courageously. Looking you in the eye full with life and laughter; without fear of retaliation. Or fear of being spit at.
It is when the writing ends, the article reaches that last line, that I feel my wings draw closer to my body. I need to rest. Need to retire. Sleep.
Until the next time, when I will be squawking at your door, awakening the kid in YOU to “come out and play,” or “come closer to God,” perhaps even to say “You were right about me after all. I am your sensitive friend, and I need you.”
Now, that is what I call opening a vein from one searcher to another!
Yet, writing drains me. I cannot deal with matters of importance now. Not after leaking more important matters here. Please, don’t let them mess with me now.