You can keep the promotion. Wouldn’t take it, even if offered. Not if I have to make “achievements” my aim, to set a new “goal” in Life.

I’ve tried to get away from this sort of thinking, believing I’d find the pot of gold at the end of the proverbial rainbow if I just carry out one more task. Climb one more mountain. But, I’ve found so much happiness by “detaching” myself from these desires through meditation. I don’t want to fall. I discovered you can’t learn the meaning of Life by quenching some new desire. It can only be sought within, the search must start and end there. Not some 125 degrees above me. Why should I be forced into scaling a Kabbalah-like “ladder” to elevate my soul, my essence?

The Buddha in me says to abide where I am. To offer love and compassion to everyone, starting with myself. How can I love you if I have not forgiven myself, learned to accept who and what I am in the present moment? Why must I want any more? And for Whom?

Had a dream last night. There were three students. I was the least experienced, the freshman. The other two fellows were knowledgeable and seemed to know exactly where they were going. I was unsure. I wanted to follow, but held back. Felt something was wrong. One of them worried about getting a “promotion.” That’s all he talked about. His whole Life depended on him achieving that goal. Did not like what I saw in him, but kept my own counsel.

It was when the second “learned” one offered me advice, that I felt uncomfortable. Refused to “jump” at a chance to please him, or to accept what he said. Did nothing to follow through with the action he requested. He spoke again. More demanding this time. Threatening? No, I felt more ridicule than fear. I wasn’t ready when he pushed me. I reacted by swinging a fist in the direction of his head, waking up as my right hand struck the pillow above me.

I have found peace and calm in my journey, by escaping from “goal-setting.” Didn’t need another congratulatory plaque on the wall, a “mission accomplished” banner, a notch in a gun handle for some new “kill.“

And, so I will not make a promotion my aim. I will focus on my studies here, continuing to sip from various spiritual cups while trying to create an altruistic lifestyle. Not to “get ahead” or get another stripe on my shirt. But because it’s the “right” thing to do. For the benefit of all.