Oh shit. I did something on the computer and I can’t get into my G-mail account.
I feel lost. Unable to get in touch with that part of my world I contact on a daily basis. It’s one of the first things I do while sipping my morning coffee and taking my meds. I go to my Gmail. I’m doubly pissed off because I made two friends recently and hoped to visit with them via my e-mail account.
I can read my Gmail account from my phone, but I never learned how to “compose.” I feel useless and all fucked up, if you pardon my French.
Am I regressing to a time when I felt the Universe was kicking me in the teeth? Yes. I haven’t felt this way since my worst days in Vietnam. Getting kicked in the teeth and feeling so hopeless about the world around me. I made it through those long ass days back then never knowing if there’d be light at the end of the deepest and darkest days.
I’ll survive this too. But what misery, what pain I am going through right now.
How did this happen, you might ask. I applied a device called “Ublock.” I hadn’t tried it until the moment I couldn’t rid my Gmail of the unsubscribed newsletters that some son-of-a-bitch linked me to. I got more than a thousand newsletters in my Gmail. I think the some Trump supporter that I “unfriended”on Facebook.
I kept getting this one newsletter in some foreign language and no matter what I did, I couldn’t stop the daily barrage. So I tried to block it.
The next thing I knew, I couldn’t access my Gmail. I feel fucked!
Now I gotta find a way to contact all my contacts and let them know I’m going to have to get a new e-mail account.
(This is also a free-write for my “Just Write” Group meeting in Collegeville.)