PTSD creates new ‘Cause and Condition’

Causes and conditions.

That’s what life is all about. Causes and conditions. The sooner I realize this, the easier it will be to reach enlightenment. 

Oh, I’m not talking about the Big Kahuna, “Enlightenment” with a capital E. That’s a state of perfection forever more. I seek bits and pieces of wisdom that’ll enable me to grow, and share with others more happiness and less stress.

Seeing  life’s phenomena in terms of cause and a condition giving rise to more causes and conditions is a small, but, significant step.

What created this “Eureka” moment? Why is it a big deal?

I “won” my battle with the Veterans’ Administration (VA) for an increase that guarantees my son a college education and a “stipend” while in school. He’ll also be covered by health insurance.

All medicine and specialists for my traumatic brain-injured (TBI) spouse will now be provided free, thanks to Uncle Sam. The VA rating board deemed my PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) as “permanent” and “total.” That means this veteran and his spouse will receive free medical coverage — and all medications — for the rest of their lives.

It applies to a child up to 23, with post secondary training and/or college guaranteed to age 26.

Great, right?  

Certainly. But as I drove away from the VA center in Philadelphia feeling euphoric, a flood of new ideas, questions and concerns cropped up. What should have been clear sailing back home, became turbulent with anxiety and trepidation.

What if Nick, a high school senior, fails to graduate? What if he flunks out his first college semester? (He’s like me at his age, 18. Schooling doesn’t matter.) Who do I see to get him a tutor? Or to let a school counselor and teachers know he has ADHD (Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder)?

Must notify Medicare and CHIP (Children’s Health Insurance Program). Stop the $500 a month payments for the coverage. But must we wait until the “window” opens to drop the insurance without getting charged extra? Should I schedule meetings with a VA doctor, social worker, psychologist and physical therapist for the spouse? Worries, new worries.

Yesterday, my major concern was simply to get copies made of my blog at the VA center. As an aside, I saw a Disabled American Veterans (DAV) rep to question what I thought was a denial of a claim. This Buddha-like man (a veteran himself) told me I was actually “approved” after checking his computer. I hugged him, raised both arms in the air, and walked out like a winner, a Rocky Balboa going the distance in the ring with a formidable opponent.

And now I have concerns of a different type. They’re pleasant ones:  busy thoughts of new conditions that have arisen in great part from my own efforts.  A new cause, a new condition. (Did I tell you the local property tax will now be waived? Almost $1,000 a year. And there will be no fee for title transfers for my car or for a handicap plate, not to mention a fee waived for a fishing or hunting license, [I do neither, but that’s beside the point.] Got to fill out forms, make phone calls. Busy myself to better myself.)

I am the same person I was yesterday. Only a new  Cause_and_Condition  has arisen. Please. Let me treat it as if it was penalty and not a prize. Seeking equanimity, is what Buddhists call it.

2 comments on “PTSD creates new ‘Cause and Condition’

  1. Phil says:

    Be grateful for what is, and breathe prayers of peace for those who suffer.




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