I tasted love before I ever “entered” an Age of Reason.
I had not reached 7, but I remember it as if it was yesterday. Was attending a birthday party for a friend of my brother, John, who’s two years older than me. Her name was Carolyn, and the love I felt came from her sister, Regina Gross, who the older kids enjoyed “fixing up“with me, her school classmate.
I tried to shy away, looking for some sort of cover to escape the attention they were drawing to me. What was I expected to do? Bow and say “thank you” for putting me on the spot? Now what am I to do?
Regina also tried to get away. Physically removing herself from the middle of someone’s living room where they played some child’s game. Can’t remember if it was “spin the bottle.” But she walked away, and her big sister gently grabbed her by the shoulder and ushered her back to the group. For the first time in my life I saw Love in another person’s eyes as she tentatively looked at me, looked into my eyes and I knew right then and there what heaven was all about.
Love here on earth without having to be embalmed and stuffed into a fiberglass coffin. A love that grows from within, particularly, when you “realize” you are truly loved. (See kids-understand-love.)
At least, that is what I believe I saw in her eyes when I was in second grade. I feel it today after meditating under acupuncture and “awakening” to a Truth that arose from within. All love ties into Heaven. I should say, all unconditional love grows from the “Mother Lode” of Pure Love. We get an infusion through an umbilical cord created by God extending directly from God Herself.
What? I should have said “Himself?” But, then I would be “labelling” the All Knowing God, limiting the Almighty, and proclaiming that I knew more than the ancient mystics who were unable to describe “Him,” of Whom we know, from every religion, is indescribable.
That’s what I learned before reaching the Age of Reason. Love grows from within for no reason at all. I “felt” that before I could ever “think” it. Before I was able to “reason” it. Catholics believe that a person becomes morally responsible when one reaches the “Age of Reason,” which is around 7 years old. A youth at this age can better understand right from wrong. good and bad, and it allows a kid — among other things — to take “Communion,” be a “witness,” and be subject to possible excommunication.
I knew nothing of that when I looked at Regina, taking in her blue eyes and blonde hair, the slight ribbon at top of her head, as well as her soft face, cheeks and chin. That image etched onto my soul. I have it when I close my eyes and retrieve it on demand, or see it when something involuntarily brings it to my mind’s eye.
Never dated Regina. Always wanted to. We’d see each other nearly everyday through eighth grade at St. Ludwig’s elementary school in Brewerytown, North Philadelphia.
Years later, I would drive past her house at 27th and Poplar streets, hoping to see her on the steps leading to her home in one of the row houses. And more recently, I Googled her name, feeling a little like a “stalker” trying to find someone who may not want any contact from the past.
If I ever see her again, I would simply share these words with her.
Regina. I still feel the Love you help to generate within. Thanks.