Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have cursed out drivers on the open highway and prayed their mothers had never conceived them. In or at of wedlock, those dirty b . . . . . .
It’s road rage, I fear. A sin I commit almost every time I’m behind the wheel. I want to be good and not dwell on others’ transgressions, but the temptation is too great. And wanting to do bodily harm to inconsiderate drivers has become a “near occasion” of sin for me.
The following represents the many times I took the Lord’s name in vain when another either committed driving affronts or failed to commit courteous driving actions, thus precipitating my evil inclination to do away with them:
- Turning without signalling to me, the driver behind ’em, who’s wondering where the hell they’re going.
- Driving on dark, slick roads under rainy conditions with no lights on. Don’t they know it’s the law in Pennsylvania?
- Needing someone to “beep” them as they sit for several long seconds after a red light had changed to green.
- Planning to turn left on a divided highway, but not getting over far enough for a poor schmuck like me to pass them, as I wait for what seems forever for oncoming traffic to slow to their liking.
- Someone on the cellphone while smoking a cigaret and drinking from a soda can. Multi-tasking like this will cause an accident. By someone watching ’em, trying to figure out why they need to stay busy (need I say: “distract” themselves?) when driving.
- Van operators who always drive alone with no passengers despite owning a more gas-friendly car that won’t block my small Saturn Ion. There ought to be a law against use of a van unless there are at least two persons inside.
- Van operators who “gang up” on me by driving in front and on the side of my car. Can’t see a damn thing over and/or around ’em, causing me to veer toward the median cement barrier — or onto on-coming traffic at an undivided highway — to see what’s causing the delay on road ahead.
'...confess my sins and do penance...'
- + Pick-up truck drivers who never carry a pick-up or a load in their beds.
- + Anyone near 80 years old driving a sports car with a convertible top down. They shouldn’t have that much fun at their age.
- Drivers that always obey a 25-mile-per-hour speed limit while you and everyone else on the road have been cruising at a comfortable 32. There’s a big difference psychologically, and no police officer worth their salt is going to ticket you for a 7-miles-per-hour offense.
- Young men who want to share their music while driving with a loud bass sound nearly crushing my ear drums.
- People who spend what seems like “forever” foraging through pockets or purses for money to pay at a McDonald’s Drive thru window, when having all that time while someone prepared their order. They tell you the cost of the meal right after you order. Can’t they get the money ready while idling in park?
- Truck and Van operators who take up two parking spaces to park. Throw in Cadillac-owners too.
- Political junkies who insist on keeping their candidate’s bumper sticker on, even though he lost a zillion years ago. Didn’t they get the message? And what about those still carrying a torch for the winner. Are they trying to rub it in that their guy won?
- Vanity plate owners you have to pull over to ask what the hell the letters on the plate really mean.
- High-beamers who won’t shift back to regular headlights for you driving in on-coming traffic.
- Any 75-year-old, white-haired lady who gives you the finger after you beeped them, over took their car, and scowled at ’em while passing on the road.
- Drivers afraid to turn right on red when there is no sign that prevents you from turning right on red. (Get to know the law, butthead!)
- Drivers suffering amnesia after flipping their turn signal on; the signal just keeps blinking . . . and blinking . . . and blinking.
- Driving in the passing lane while 101 motorists pass them in the right lane. (Figure you’d take a hint by now, buddy.)
I firmly resolve with the help of thy Grace never to beep that white-hair lady, or curse an inconsiderate driver again. So help me, God!
Contoveros 
So funny!! But unlike you, I wouldn’t like to leave it to Karma or God to fix the other person’s issues!! 😉 Although, I have a feeling, I might have been guilty as charged for quite a few of these “sins” myself.. The part of driving that I miss here in the US, honking.. !!! India is definitely a free country in that perspective :)) So, my question to you is, since when did the McD’s drive way, the vanity plates be part of “Road Rage”?? Although I recently heard on NPR that people who have more bumper stickers on their cars have more road rage.. because they feel like they own the road.. Hmmmm, that makes me want to count the ones on your Saturn Ion.. He he 😀
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What a lovely way to meet and greet you!
Hi. Loved your stuff. I can see that you have a couple stickers on your bumper, don’t you?
Me? Nada. Not a one.
Although I have a combat infantry badge on one side of the dashboard and a sign that reads “PTSD, don’t leave Nam without it!” on the other.
I wonder what that says about my driving?
I am glad I connected with you “Heart.”
michael j
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Thanks Michael, for your kind words..! I am so glad you like my blog, you know it is an honor if well read and well exposed people like you say something good, it is a treasure! And I am so sorry if I hurt you about the bumper sticker, I think I shouldn’t have said what I did about the count, I just read about PTSD in the last 5 minutes, and now I feel terrible if I hurt your feelings..
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was almost slammed into by an oblivious driver this tuesday. had to honk the horn and swerve into another lane because he either didn’t see me or simply didn’t care. I took a deep breath, cleared my mind, looked forward and said, “I have a day still ahead of me today, let’s get on with it.” He became unimportant enough to not even need to think about forgiving him. The more attention and concentration I put into someone or something, the more power I give him or it. Its been a long struggle staying sane when behind the wheel where another driver doesn’t realize their power of life and death over other drivers (and themselves). a childhood trauma has ‘programmed’ me to want to smash anyone who is unaware of their putting others’ lives in danger. what helps is that I cannot ignore the fact that I’ve done stupid and careless things myself behind the wheel. This is my connection point between the self and the other. no matter how conscientious a driver I think I am, or would like to portray myself as being, I know for a fact that my driving has been lacking at times. After seeing the a*hole-ness of other drivers in myself, it is easier to forgive. self-forgiveness or forgiveness of the other person… still working on figuring out which one comes first. If I become an ‘avenging driver’ I become someone else’s ‘karma prison b*tch’. I create a sort of hell for myself where I have to pay for karma that I can no longer justify as being ‘someone else’s fault’ because I own my actions. All of ’em. That’s a b*tch enough in itself. 🙂
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‘karma prison b*tch’
I love this image. Can you see what suffering has done for your imagination? If you didn’t face such a low, you might not have produced such a high.
I find when I am good and “meditated,” I can deal with most other drivers. Trouble is, I’m not at that level all of the time, and I wonder why other people can’t simply be a little more courteous on the road. Yeah, I speed, and will try to make that yellow light before it turns red. But, I try to always use a turn signal and pull all the way over to allow a car behind me to pass on the right.
Your’re right, of course, Eric. By focusing so much on them, you lose the importance of your self. In the moment when you should be centered and calm while driving. Why can’t we enjoy the ride without outside interference. Thanks for the input.
michael j
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True enough, but what if this asshole kills someone?
walt
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Have an Irish wake and drive the sombitch to hell.
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Hi Mr M
It is uplifting seeing someone doing God’s work. Being meek (or gentle if you prefer)certainly works, but there is another way, the road less traveled that works for me.
http://blitherings.wordpress.com/2010/08/17/assholes/
Because of my sheepdog nature, i suppose, I feel I must reach out and share the love.
walt
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Walt, I detect you may have not forgiven some people whose “holes” in the road you might have come across.
michael j
Forgive them, for they know not how to drive . . .
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[…] Perhaps Mr M just needs a different perspective. Road Rage […]
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Maylene Muse will tickle you funny bone. I guarantee it!
Check it out for a great belly laugh. But, only if you drive safely.
michael j
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