Who needs glasses to see your self within?

I wear glasses. Well, I don’t wear ’em, even though I should.

They pinch me. At the bridge of the nose. Cause an irritation to my left ear. Make me feel less good-looking, less acceptable. (As if I really need to be more acceptable nowadays!)

I feel too studious with glasses on, so I take them off in the company of woman . . . and men. I know it’s an ego thing, one that carried over from my days as a lawyer, trying to win over a jury with appearances and other foolish images. I felt good, however, and if something makes you feel good, I want to stick with it. “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” 

You see, I can “see” pretty good with my left eye, the one where a cataract had been removed and an eye surgeon repaired a detached retina. Wore a pirate’s black patch off and on for four months. Felt cool! Suave! Mysterious!

Even while wearing a dirty sweat shirt and short pants, sans socks and beat up sandals. It all fit in.

Glasses didn’t. Never did, even as a kid when I learned at age 12 I couldn’t see the blackboard at St. Ludwig’s Church-run elementary school. Nuns would get on me, and made my parents have an eye doctor “look” at me. Insisted I always wear glasses. Never got called “Four Eyes” like some kids called my older brother, John. He wore glasses, and they made his ears stick out, I mean way out. Our mom would say that Clark Gable had ears that stood out, but I don’t think it ever appeased my brother.

Went steady at a young age and wore my glasses throughout the early years of the “British Invasion” of Beatlemania and psychedelic music. Was happy with the improved vision, and my steady girl, Peggy McPeake, didn’t seem to mind the way I looked. I wasn’t really looking for anyone else at the time.

Yet, I removed the glasses for Prom photos taken with her at my gala affair at Dobbin’s Technical High School, as well as her alma mater, John W. Hallahan Catholic Girls’ High School, both in Philadelphia, PA. Can’t think of one graduation picture ever taken showing me with glasses. Even took ’em off at family gatherings, when I really had no one I needed or wanted to impress. I guess I simply wanted people to see me “in the flesh,” and not with some visual aide blocking a view of my eyes.

Getting back to that one “good eye,” I have learned to “slow down” when not wearing spectacles. Have to be more aware of what I see, and when I’m not working, I don’t have to concentrate so hard to make a living. I kinda like “refocusing.” Getting into a zone, where I have to “feel” my way more. While walking and driving. Fewer things distract me. Hell, if it ain’t up close, it ain’t going to be looked at! And, what is there really to see? Buddhist, Kabbalistic and Sufi students all say the World is nothing but an illusion. That the only true reality comes from within. We “project” our own experiences onto what our senses pick up from the outside stimuli. All are colored by our Self within our Self. And it is different for every living being!

I’m getting to finally see that, and it’s something I don’t need glasses in order to help focus me better.

10 comments on “Who needs glasses to see your self within?

  1. livvy1234 says:

    I have slowed down willingly, and with much attention to the process. Slowing down, getting off the highway, I am focusing on living in the present participle of the verb. LIV-ING, BE-ING, DO-ING.

    The world will continue to spin on its axis. This gerbil got off.


    • contoveros says:

      Is that where your name “L I V V Y” comes from?

      To live by being, by doing. But only slower, more mindfully. How tempting it is, however, to get back on the tread-mill believing it had served us so well in the past, it has to continue to run us to . . . I don’t know, a desitination that pretty much exists right in the present if we but use our inward lens to see this reality.


  2. Helen says:

    Michael j,
    You make me smile. I see you as a little boy. Lovely.


  3. Indeed everything is an illusion…I have been thinking about writing a short story about that for ages!


    • contoveros says:

      But, its my illusion. Your illusion. Each is different because they’re created by our individual experiences, our memories and our five senses, all of which are different from one person to another. Yet, we share Something. A collective “understanding” of a Force higher than ourselves that we long to be with whether they be a Dizzy Blonde or a Crazy Greek . . .

      michael j


  4. Emily says:

    The picture- gack! That looks like a consistent headache.


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