Daily Meditation Desperately Needed

It’s time for my disappearing act to begin. I close my eyes, wave an imaginary magic wand, and slowly begin to vanish from existence here. All thoughts and fears come to an end as I find protection beneath a cloak of invisibility, safe from the savages outside and the demons within.

I don’t know which I need to escape from more: the chores and responsibilities of daily life or the sense of failure and guilt I get in not immediately dealing with them. But escape I do, twice a day if I’m lucky. I leave the first thing in morning just before facing the day’s challenges. Who needs to “hit the ground” running as they taught us in jump school while learning to be a paratrooper. You can escape from the plane above and float on surrounding clouds by the force of your own will. You can armor yourself before doing battle on the ground below.

Meditate as if your life depended on it

Meditate. Withdraw from the world around you by going to a more peaceful one inside. You won’t  find the calm and rest upon first entering. You’ll need to wade through a jungle of competing thoughts and desires, all trying to dominate at once. The thoughts come from our past, creating worries for the future. Desires and fears come from attachments we’ve grown used to and are unable to easily break away from.

Be gone, you illusions of the mind. You exist only because of lack of control over you. I feed on you because I am so used to believing I cannot live without you. But I can, and each time I bring you to heel, I realize such “self-control” is needed for me to truly live. All thoughts, even the “good” ones, need to dissipate. Let them go, I instruct myself. Watch them glide by as clouds passing on a windy day. Don’t cling to any. Don’t fix on any.

My escape is aided when I humble myself and ask forgiveness in needing such a withdrawal in first place. I “lower” myself, realizing I need a power that is so far above me; that the only way I could relate to and seek its help would be through bowing to its immense greatness — a gentle greatness — that those with the slightest bit of pride would find difficult to find.

It is at that moment when I become “small” that I start to enlarge and be transformed into something far greater than myself. I travel to another place, another plane where I am one with the air and the energy all around me. I need nothing. I want nothing. I am nothing.

I disappear.

And then reappear.

 I’m refreshed. I’m revitalized. I’m renewed.

I’m me again!

18 comments on “Daily Meditation Desperately Needed

  1. […] Frugal Xpat (02/25/2012 at 20:13 )says: […]

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  2. […] now, but want to share how everyone could enjoy this exercise  the frugal expat spoke of  in Daily Meditation Desperately Needed. As she describes her life’s quest, she is on “An expat’s journey in Abu Dhabi, […]

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  3. Frugal Xpat says:

    I always wanted to meditate..

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    • contoveros says:

      Dear Ex Pat,

      Want to meditate? Close your eyes and take three deep breaths, letting the last exhalation out slowly while focusing on and loosening the tense parts of your body. Concentrate lovingly on your breathing, visualizing the cool air flowing in and out of that part of the nostril located high in the facial cavity. Feel for that spot some call the “Third Eye,” and secure it as if it were an anchor. You will need its “permanancy” as you flow into uncharted waters and the inevitable thoughts intrude into your mind again and again.

      Gently “nudge” them aside as if the thoughts were nothing more than clouds and you are the wind, the soft current of air that flows in and out of your nostril, the place where you are anchored. Return to that flow of air again and again and again.

      Don’t try too hard.

      Don’t judge.

      Remember these two guidances. If you try too hard, you’ll upset the calm and restful state you need to gently flow into. You can’t force it. You must “let” it happen. Surrender. Release all control. Simply “be” in the moment without really trying to “be in the moment.”

      Now, don’t judge anything — good or bad — that happens while entering this peaceful state of consciousness. You are practicing “mindfulness.” You are concentrating on your “awareness” of nothing but what exists in this moment of life we call “the present.”

      The longer you can stay in “the present,” the more beneficial will be your visit, your rest and relaxation, your invigoration by and from a reality hidden by illusions that are mostly self-created. Not every trip to the meditation pillow will be the same, so don’t judge one against another. Don’t judge yourself against another person, either. All your efforts are worthwhile. The more you attempt, the easier and deeper you will find yourself “losing” yourself.

      “Losing” yourself is a great way to view meditation. Once you reach “empty” you’ll realize it’s a place you can always call home and invite all other sentient beings to visit and stay sharing loving kindness and compassion until the end of time.

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  4. i guess i have to try practicing meditation more often.

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    • contoveros says:

      You can begin the practice with your next few breaths by slowly breathing in and breathing out, one long exhale after an inhale until your let your thoughts drift away and you “control” the lack of thoughts that brings calm and peace.

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  5. Lesley says:

    I need it but struggle so doing it, the simplest things in life are hardest to master well, I struggle on…

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  6. Thank you for the reminder. I spent “quiet time” in the morning for a very long time, then life and demands started in my waking thoughts and I got lost. I needed this. Thank you.

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  7. Tana says:

    I cannot properly explain how much I needed to read this. Thank you.

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  8. souldipper says:

    Ahhhhhh….. It’s blissfully rewarding because the rest of my day goes a whole lot better than when I don’t meditate.

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  9. Great post this is. I appreciate the meditation that you shared here. Very important work that you are doing. I look forward to reading more posts.

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