“The Gospel writers got it wrong,” Jesus said on reappearing in public in 2012.

The Kingdom of God is within, He added. “But each of us must seek it ourselves through ourselves.”

He looked the camera in the lens’ eye and announced: “You can’t find it outside. You can only reach Heaven from within. Through your Love and Compassion for all Abba’s creatures.

“That’s how my humanity became Divine,” the miracle-worker confided to the television newscaster. “God exists everywhere, and you learn that when you merge with Him inside of yourself.”

“When I said the only way I was able to find the Kingdom of God was through me, I meant it. Literally,” the dark-skinned man said to the crowds gathering around him on Afghanistan mountain range.

“Each must find it within themselves, inside themselves, and not through any intermediary, no matter how holy you make Him out to be.”

Love Thy Neighbor, But Start with Love Of Self

Jesus, who was wearing home-spun clothing and still walking in sandals, said that no one could be exactly like him, and that we all had to find “salvation” through our meritorious efforts. Do good often enough, he said, and it would become second-nature, just as the Man from Nazareth said he discovered before his 30th birthday, and shared during the three years of his ministry.

“We are all Divine,” he added, raising his bearded face up, watching a dove soar above him across the blue sky dotted with occasional clouds. No one standing around him spoke. For once, even the CNN camera crewmen did not insist that their interview subject stand in the most ideal spot for the video feed. 

Jesus said an individual can develop an unbreakable connection to the Great Divine, of whom theologians have labelled God, through devoted prayer, deep meditation and a tolerance of all ways of life. He told his followers the same thing, but the message became altered when placed in writing by the founders of religious groups who felt their translation was absolute, and the only true version, all others false. They dropped the part about tolerance.

Even today, Jesus, born an Arab in 1982, is called a false Messiah by the religious leaders of Christianity and Judaism. Some fundamental Islamic authorities have called for his death because their fellow countrymen won’t raise the Muslim flag above all other religions and elevate  Mohammed in the eyes of the world.

Buddhists, who never taught a belief in a God, warmed up to this man who seemed to come out of nowhere, first healing people in Haiti and Bangladesh and then those living in the deepest pockets of Africa away from civilization.

Critics say he will “bring down” all religious institutions, and lead countries into chaos, as leaders must deal not only with the world-wide economic collapse that started in late 2011, but also a spiritual upheaval that traditional churches can not handle because of the “exclusivity” they demand followers adhere to.

“No Blessing, No Messing“ one Catholic Church official was quoted as saying of the “faith healing” techniques Jesus used in Shaman-like rituals they called “Paganistic.” Some say Reiki “healings,” Crystal “cures,” and Tibetan Singing Bowl “atunements” are barbaric in form, if not in substance, and are no better than rituals used by medicine men of early Native Americans and older Aborigine tribes.

This new Jesus, however, praised the efforts of the “New Age” ministers, claiming their practice was more in tune with his teachings than most of what you read “in any book written by man.” Had he been raised Catholic, he would have been ex-communicated on the spot, said one observer who asked his identity not be disclosed.

(This  has been brought to you by an imagination out of “madness“)