I delete persons withholding ID from me

Return to Sender
Return to Sender, Address unconfirmed


You send me two comments and when I try to contact you, I learn I can not reach you through the e-mail address provided. Hate to block any reply, even the most critical one, but unless I can determine it’s from some authentic source, I’d be a fool to give it “air space.”

Learned that in Journalism 101, and years working as a reporter and editor of newsletters and journals. You’re responsible for what you publish under your name, and unless you get a damn good reason why someone wants to hide their identity while writing about something controversial — whether you agree with it or not — you ought to think twice about “vouching” for its sincerity.

Could end up sending someone to one of those triple xxx sex sites. Or to someone with a political ax to grind on the body part you’re sticking your neck out to have faith in.

Got two comments from you, hermanthegerman and, while writing a reply to one of ’em, got inspired to create an entire post, a separate article. Next, I placed a hand on the computer mouse, guided it over the parts identifying the sender of a “post comment” via an e-mail, and was unable to contact you at any of the identifying areas.

Sent two e-mails to hermanthegerman@aol.com, only to have both bounce back with the old letter-carrying message of “return to sender, address unknown.” Unable to reach you, I became suspicious — my PTSD (post traumatic stress — without the “disorder“) arose and so did my hyper vigilance — and I activated the security device at Word Press to automatically label your e-mails “spam,” thus blocking comments from such a hidden source.

I can understand people who write controversial stuff wanting to guard their identity for fear of retaliation at their home or job site. In addition, I know several women who use aliases at their Blogs because of internet stalking and worse.

But, Herman, I don’t know where you’re coming from, and until I do, I’m not going to expose others to you through my Blog.

Tell us who you are — you might have some interesting things to share and have a good reason for withholding your ID. Show yourself. The truth, some say, might just set your free.


herrmanthegerman@aol.com 2010/07/14 at 11:00

Unconditional love and acceptance means not filtering our responses to your blog and trashing them at will. Isn’t that highly conditional and unaccepting of you?


herrmanthegerman spam

Quick Edit | Edit | Not Spam | Delete Permanently


My next step is to “Delete Permanently
and hope I get no retaliation.

michael j contos, aka contoveros

12 comments on “I delete persons withholding ID from me

  1. onesurvivor says:

    I have rarely emailed someone. However, before I will post someone’s comment, I do check out their link. There are some comments that I did accept, but I removed the link they had. I protect my anonymity, however, my email is legit. It is one of several I have that do not identify me.


    • contoveros says:

      It’s a courtesy thing. Can’t see it any other way.

      Allowing it to happen is kinda like approving a drive-by shooting. You never know who’s pulling the trigger. If I am to be shot, I like to know who’s taking aim at me!

      michael j


      • onesurvivor says:

        Yeah…I hear ya. Even if it is a nice comment…if they are putting a live link either on their name or in the post…I want to make sure it is a decent place to send people.


        • contoveros says:

          Exactly! Think of all the “spam” that appears at “My Dashboard,” that category at top that automatically filters questionable comments. I get ’em from sex sites, roulette playing sites, not to mention some legitimate advertisements that I don’t mind people linking with after I’ve checked ’em out. (Got one recently on travel to Rhodes, Greece, which I plan to keep for future reference and “day dreaming” of using some day.

          Thanks for the insight. Glad to see I’m not alone!

          michael j


  2. Emily says:

    Sometimes the heated responses are good for sparking conversations that need to happen, but I agree with you, Michael. Since a commenter’s email is kept private from readers, if they don’t really want to be in touch with the person running the site they’re commenting on then they should just move along. Conversations reach out to other people, and refusing to be honest with the person who’s house you’re in is as rude as a slap in the face. Deleted!


    • You hit the nail right on the head! It’s like a slap in the face when someone refuses to let you know who they are, but expect you to leave the welcome mat out for anyone to wipe off who knows what outside the door.

      The wiping is for legitimate visitors, and not for loitering by lurkers who “troll” and snipe without giving you a chance to kinda look ’em in the face when offering a response.

      Good. Now I’ve had my say. Again. I feel better.

      Thanks, Emily!

      michael j


    • onesurvivor says:

      I think it is kind of like hit and run!


  3. ellocogringo says:

    Hi, Mr Mike
    or it could be a question of anonymity. Many people fear repercussions at work if they go “off the reservation”. This is certainly true of psychology, for instance, while they may agree, they are reluctant to agree on line. For instance, I suspect would be uncomfortable with many of the posts you’ve made if you were still a defense attorney. On my site a psychologist would be de-tenured for agreeing with me that psychology is bs. I’m thinking of a password protected post for anonymous comments. That way I could cut and paste their comment into the thread. Currently it’s the “league of extra-temporal gentlemen”



    • contoveros says:

      el loco gringo,

      I agree with remaining anonymous in situations. And I’ve done that when people asked me not to reveal their identity or provide a place I could leave a comment. Many people on the Web use alias and I have no problem with that.

      But, I object to someone not providing me the same forum I’m providing them — a place to comment and exchange ideas. In other words, a legitimate e-mail address for me to discuss something in “private,” and/or perhaps more important, for me to verify they’re legit to some extent.

      Communications should not be a one-way street.

      michael j


  4. therracat says:

    On internet share sites, or where people gather to discuss a shared interest, we call people like Herman the German “trolls”. Trolls are people who like to amuse themselves by bothering or getting a response from you. It’s a way of connecting for them, I believe, a way of having some kind of power, or getting people to notice them. I suspect in the real world they don’t get much notice at all.

    We just ignore them. Without being fed attention, they go away. Some of them try harder and then go away, some go away right away. But without attention, which is air for them, they dissolve.


    • contoveros says:


      Went almost 10 months and never had a so-called “troll” on this Blog until now. Kinda reminds me of a person with a “sniper” mentality. To hide out without being seen and to “snipe” at things you might not like or disagree with. Safe to make comments without providing their own background or past writings to see what substance they might really be made out of.

      I’ve seen it in political terms and a few times in a religious connection. Why anyone would want to continually visit a site just to hurt someone is beyond my understanding.

      I guess that’s something that I should “treat as a gem” to see what it tells about me and my reaction to it. May it all turn out for the best in the end!

      michael j


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