It was the ice on the truck that beckoned to me when I was six years old and playing on the one-way street near my home in North Philadelphia. Continue reading
Tag Archives: War
Owning the Mental Illness Amongst Us
Mental illness scares the shit out of me. The very term conjures up images of some crazed guy with wild, straggly hair and a demon-like smile of malevolence. Steven King kind of comes to mind when I think of someone who might be a little touched in the head. A Stephen King character, that is. Not Stephen King.  Continue reading
My ‘Vietnam War Recall’ starts tomorrow
“I am tired and sick of war. Its glory is all moonshine. It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood, more vengeance, and more desolation. Some of these young men think that war is all glory but let me say . . . ”War is All Hell!”
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American Civil War General William Tecumseh Sherman
9-11 is Our Generation’s ‘Day Of Infamy’
Like December 7th, 1941, the date of “9-11” will go down in American history as a new generation’s Day of Infamy.
Songs offered hope to Vietnam War grunts
Musical refrains from Rock & Roll songs helped get me through the Vietnam War. I didn’t know all the lyrics of the songs, only those short parts where I’d stop what I was doing and raise my voice in unison with the lead singer. 
Recalling some cool summers in the Army
Summer always served as a “new beginning” for me when I was in the US Army. I got drafted on the Third of June and did my basic training in the hot, dry air of Fort Bragg, North Carolina.
A rant against disrespect, hurt & the war
Much of what I know about War was what I learned while playing as a kid. You know, using a stick or a broken branch from a tree, I’d pretend it was a rifle to shoot the bad guys who were out to get me and the rest of the good guys in my old neighborhood. 
Cause of All Wars Questioned in Confederate Flag Controversy
President Barack Obama may have raised an issue on all wars when he eulogized a fallen comrade on June 26, 2015, at the funeral for the pastor of the AME Church in Charleston, South Carolina.
Continue readingIt was me an enemy sniper was trying to kill
A Sniper Takes Aim at this Young Lieutenant
A Viet Cong sniper was trying to kill me. Some motherfucker hiding in the trees, the bushes, the triple-canopy jungle had just shot at my platoon. I thought he was shooting randomly, despite the debris from the ground, grassland and other tiny bits of rock that struck me from a bullet’s ricochets.
New bucket list headed by state of Alaska
North to Alaska!
That’s where I’m headed next week, and I’ll start checking off the newest box of my “bucket list,” the list of things I want to do before I “kick the bucket.” Continue reading
Hoping for a lofty goal, I write a lot & often
(Question 2 on Hope)
Think of a time when you felt sure you were going to attain a lofty goal, even though the path to the goal was not apparent. That is the hope that comes from your being.
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Explosion shatters Peace but calm prevails
Question 2 of 4 on ” Feeling Peaceful“
Thinking of this same peaceful experience, imagine that feeling of calm becoming deeper and stronger within your soul to the point where nothing happening in the environment could shake it. Describe what that kind of peace would feel like physically, mentally and emotionally. How could this type of peace change your life? — Deepak Chopra 21-Day Meditation Experience (Day 3 — “Feeling Peace”)
Peace Found Deep Inside the Vietnam War
(Part 1 of 2)
Recall a time when you felt calm and peaceful, even though the circumstances were not peaceful. Write down a description of that event, and describe how you were able to be calm in that situation. What was the source of this peacefulness if it didn’t come from outside? — Deepak Chopra 21-Day Meditation Experience (Day 3 — “Feeling Peace”)
Breathing to ‘Right Self’ is a Lifetime Job
Don’t think my friend, Lea Stoneheart, expected such angst from me while responding to her comment about “The Hidden Costs of War” Retreat at Omega Institute five days last week [April 22, 2010]. It just spewed out. I guess I’m still processing much of what occurred. It will take time to learn to use tools to seek peace without first having to go to war.
Continue readingDivine Mother, Spare the Fem-in-’em Now
Take ’em. Break ’em. Make ’em.
O Grand Master, it is your females that will save this species. It is through their power, their innate abilities, that man will be saved. Compassion and love must rule the day again. And power must be crushed by the mallet of humility before any dare sends another child into war that old men dream of winning as if playing games of adolescent ruffians. 
Truly Living May Just Be Worth Dying For
The thought of going to prison never bothered me. I’d survive and flourish behind bars, where I’d have more than enough time to reflect and write which I have found is my true love in life.
Vietnam War veteran recalls his journey
Dealing with the Vietnam War becomes a little easier each time I write about it. I “desensitize” myself. I now see my actions as separate from the emotions I felt while a young soldier, as well as the feelings of guilt many veterans like me, imposed on ourselves while readjusting to civilian life. It’s helpful when a high school student asks questions and you try to be honest and direct.
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Where is the boy I left home for the war?
Pinned for a Life above & beyond the call
OCS Opens me to a Life-Long Journey of Achievements
While Neil Armstrong was taking a giant leap for all mankind, I had taken a small step toward adulthood one month after the moon landing, and I had no one to thank for it except my brother, who encouraged me to aim for the stars in becoming an Officer and a Gentleman in the Army of the United States of America.
Omega opens doors to lost PTSD veterans
I didn’t want to go back to Omega Institute this year. Each time I travelled to this land of Sleepy Hollow and Rip Van Winkle, I’d get high from the holistic experience. But then I’d change into an Ichabod Crane feeling chased by the Headless Horseman, who’d tell true-life stories that caused so much pain I couldn’t hold it inside. Continue reading
Keeping all Alive a ‘Lifetime Achievement’
After serving in the Vietnam War, I turned my back on anything having to do with the military, and so I was totally surprised years later when, requesting my medals, I got one that I still don’t believe I earned.  Continue reading
Seeing a Veteran’s’ History Never Repeats
Do all of us & yourself a favor.
Keep an eye out for a Veteran.
Actively seek out someone in your church, synagogue or temple and befriend him so that what happened in Philadelphia last week never happens again.  Continue reading
Resolve to Stop Anger from Feeding on Me
Anger
It hits like a poison arrow causing me to drop what I’m doing and focus on the pain it inflicts.
Open my Vessel for ALL Lights to Shine
Merging My Belief in Both God & the Buddha
Remembering Warriors of all of our Ages
“Warriors have been rewarded for their service or their families have been provided support, since the beginning of organized society.
My Loving Prayer to Saint Francis of Assisi
I want to follow you and not lead
War is never the answer today (11-11-11)
On this Veterans Day, 11-11-11, what would you tell yourself if you could go back in time and greet that young man recently returned home from the war?
These are the True Signs of Our Times!
When I read the Occupy Wall Street demonstrators were unfocused and without a coherent message, I took a closer look at them in Philadelphia, and discovered some were disheveled street persons looking for handouts, and one was a graduate school political science major spouting Marxist teaching.
“For the Signs, they are a ‘Changing'”
(From Part I, These are true signs of our Times/)
The greatest protest of our generation is seeking change in all shapes and sizes. You can see it in the signs the demonstrators carry, writing the letters out really big with magic markers so that passersby need not squint to get the messages.
You ask me: ‘WHY I AM A DEMOCRAT?’
Why am I a Democrat?
Acupuncture: ‘Dragon drives out Demon’
A Dragon entered me and drove away a Demon last night!
A student at the WON Institute performed acupuncture, penetrating into my psyche as well as my epidermis. More importantly, she opened her heart with such compassion I wept, feeling her healing spread throughout my body and soul.  Continue reading
Healthy disdain for $$$ really not healthy
Could never be a good businessman. Did not love money enough.
A Taste of Heaven offered Here on Earth
Pizza pie and a chocolate milkshake.
Each drew me like an oasis to a man walking alone in a desert.
Injustice Should Make Us Aall ‘Go Berserk’
“Going Berserk” has always had a wicked appeal to me.
Can A Wrong Ever Serve Into A Right?
“Conduct Unbecoming an Officer and a Gentleman.”
Never thought an affair I had with a married woman before turning 21 would qualify for “conduct unbecoming,” but looking back, I see how conflicted parties to such an act could become.
Going AWOL helps a boy grow into a man
Went AWOL while a private in the US Army in 1968
Continue readingLove Thy Neighbor: Don’t burn his book
Heard some Christian minister was planning to set fire to a Muslim Holy Book, the Quran, to mark the Anniversary of 9-11 this Saturday, September 11, 2010.
Abraham, Martin & John Live On Within
Rain pours on me outside, while soft music warms me on the inside. “Abraham, Martin, and John,” the song, plays from this relatively new gadget called a portable, hand-held, transistor radio.
College Life Repeats Itself Each Generation
Sat next to a long hair, skinny, “Hippie” guy at an orientation in a community college yesterday, and felt thrown back to a time years ago, sitting cross-legged on the floor across from a similar fellow wondering what the hell I was doing there.
Act of Contrition Helps Regain My Purity
Got Blanket Absolution yesterday. And, it felt so good, I became a 12-year-old again. Ready to face the world with a clear conscious and a pure heart.
I See You for the Very First Time, Don’t I?
- I see You more and more each day. All I need do, is look for You. Kinda scrunch up my mind a bit, squint, and let my Self go. Continue reading
Pain Endures from Struggles in a ‘Back’ Life
The pain feels like someone thrust a spear in my back. That I was in battle. At the city of Troy. Fighting with fellow Greeks for the foolish prize of a minor King’s run-a-way, but lovely, wife, Helen. She with a face that will launch a thousand ships.
Concealing & finding self –a life-long effort
Hello! Anybody here? It sure is dark inside. Like a huge cavern with hardly any light.
Angels Re-enter when You’re Open to ‘Em
I started seeing angels again. No, hold off on the straight jacket, don’t reserve a room at an asylum. I’m not totally crazy. Yet.
Spiritual wars should end at a dinner table
Psalm 46:
9 — He maketh wars to cease unto the end of the earth; he breaketh the bow, and cutteth the spear in sunder; he burneth the chariot in the fire.
10 — Be still and know that I am God.
Even on bad days, music can lift me higher
“The Crossing” filled me with sounds of the Rapture last night as I surrendered to the harmonies some 25 voices offered me on entering Heaven. Continue reading
Labyrinth opens a hidden maze inside me
Walked a Labyrinth and stepped back into the Vietnam War last night.
Trouble is . . . I liked it. Did not want to leave the maze despite what lay ahead. Strangely, I felt “safe” there. Secure in my “skills.” Didn’t want to come home. Just like years earlier.
Don Quixote battles PTSD in Philly courts
I never felt more like Don Quixote than when I represented a woman charged with a crime.
Saigon Lady offers wisdom at check out
Saigon Lady taught me about Life and Buddhism last night.
Continue reading
Mary’s Tears help Battle Flashbacks of War
The only thing that seemed to help Mary was the tears.
The act of crying seemed to “loosen up” and cushion the fear and anxiety that would strike her unexpectantly. Every time she’d hear a siren, she’d feel her chest tighten, her palms sweat, and her heartbeat race. “Twenty minutes” she’d say and look at a watch or a clock. It will all be over in 20 minutes. The world as she knew it would all be over. Destroyed by nuclear war.
Answers to Questions about Vietnam War
This Veteran tells a Student about the War
Continue readingA soldier bows in salute to heartfelt words
A Soldier, and No One Else!
Light shines here from a tip of the candle
Veterans Can Share Understanding of War
‘Veterans are the light at the tip of the candle, illuminating the way for the whole nation.
50 chews per bite is goal, not meals’ end!
The Outcome Doesn’t Matter
‘Cost of War’ Explodes at Omega Institute
I loathe my inconsistencies on grief, and how I dealt with death and injuries while serving in the military.
War guilt haunts veteran year after year
Premonition of Something Bad Arises
Old warriors share PTSD woes with young
Never thought of myself as a “warrior.” Wasn’t that a term used by Third World tribes or ancient civilizations building empires on one war after another?
Part III, Don’t “Squander Away” Your Life
Originally Cont’d from Don’t squander away your life 12-5-09
How can I deal with PTSD and prevent “squandering away” my life?
Stop the presses, stop depression, stop!
Stop! Don’t tell me anymore. Don’t want to hear it.
Keep the news to yourself. It hurts me, it’s always bad.
Contoveros 