Loving, Longing, Yearning for My Beloved

     When will I see my Beloved? To feel arms surround me, a touch to comfort me, the warmth  of an embrace to shelter me from any harm man can devise against another.

I seek protection in those arms. The reward You bestow for simply living, for being alive in the moment when my Love ripens and blossoms, nurtured like a flower by Your sun during the day, and Your cool breeze to help petals close at night.

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Remembering the Greatest Time of my Life

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Miracle copies manifest at Philly VA Center

    Does the Universe conspire to create minor miracles on a given day? Yes. But only if you believe in modern-day miracles.

    I experienced several on February 16, 2010, with the last manifesting over a two-day period in the history of miracles for Contoveros. (For the series, see Rooster helps open path to miraculous day)

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Let the sun shine with all our appreciation

(Cont’d from Sun shines to make up for snowed in winter) Continue reading

Sun shines to make up for snowed in winter

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A shower can bless me today, if I but let go

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Tibetan singing bowl aids a goddess & me

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Buddha guides me thru VA PTSD path

Possibly Cont’d from Trappist monk helps veteran ‘awaken’ me 

Buddha came in the shape of a dark-haired, dark-skinned attractive yoga-practicing woman, smiling upon me in a dream.

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‘First Love Found’, never lost a Heartbeat

Orginally Cont’d From   Love’s First Kiss) 12-2-09

     What was it like to be a pre-teen, meeting a person who’d, maybe one day, be the Love of your Life? And what did you do when someone turned down the lights in the cellar party . . . and you were alone . . . finally. Your hands touched, and your eyes melted while looking at the other’s face, their smile, their warm and inviting eyes.

* * * * * * * * * 

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Dream helps guide me back to Paradise

Originally Cont’d from Dream Reveals Key to Paradise 12-2-09

 I realized that I was in Paradise.

     No, not the Paradise mentioned in our religious books about an Adam and Eve in a Garden of Eden. My Paradise was within, existing immediately before I had eaten from the fruit of the Knowledge Tree, the source of later intelligence, the later development of the mind and its control of my life.

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A new tutor learns a lesson from real life

I hope to start to tutor Natalka about the English language.  And, at the same time,  learn more of life than I ever could from any book.

Natalka needs to improve her language skills as a teacher of 2 and 3-year-olds at a pre-school outside Conshohocken, PA, here in the USA. She came from the “Old World,” the one behind the notorious “Iron Curtain.” And while she obtained a master’s degree in Chemistry while in Ukraine, her school “directors” want her to speak and write our language more fluently.

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‘Les We Forget’ names called our soldiers

     No one’s ever called me “baby-killer.”

     I never was “spit on” upon returning home to the United States following a year at war in Vietnam.

     And, while friends and co-workers I met through the years may have thought it, none have said to my face they believed I was one of those “Crazed Vietnam Veterans.”

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Joy found in everyday ‘Common’ Ground

Part III in totem series (Hawk, tiger & sparrow)

There’s nothing quiet as common as a cracker, one of those saltines, that is . . .

They’re plain. Made of basic wheat and some soy mixed in with salt, corn syrup, baking soda and yeast, according to Kellogg Co. of Battlecreek, MI.

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Hawk, tiger & sparrow send wake-up call

Part I in the Totem Series Continue reading

Eye still on the 30-day writing finish line

     Surgery was completed on eye yesterday. I have to return today for an exam. Boy, am I drowsy.

     Have had to urinate constantly. May have to cancel afternoon meeting to learn how to be “calm” and find “peace.” It’s a free workshop, and if you know anything about me, you’d know I can’t stand to pass up anything that’s free.

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Yucky moment leads to ease of suffering

     Ever have one of those “yucky” moments? Like, when you put your hand in a box, feeling around for some specific item only to come upon something gooey, wet and, of course “yucky.”

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‘Letting go’ provides a better ‘vision’ in life

Psychedelic green bursts of light pulse across my eye. It’s like a strobe light flashing over and over, as I “see” a colorful cascade of a lime green pigment appear before me as if it’s penetrating the eyeball itself.

It is! And, it’s called a “laser” procedure that a doctor from Presbyterian Hospital, a division of the University of Pennsylvania Hospital, Philadelphia, PA (USA), is performing on my left eye. Flash after flash of the laser erupts across the eye in lightening-like shapes. Are those the veins of the eye this magical light is brightening as it strikes?

He “lasers” through one hundred and twenty-four “spots” on two different sections of the eye, where they discovered I had a detached retina. I thought I scratched the eye with a contact lens, but was wrong. (See: lens hazard)  And there I was yesterday, getting emergency treatment from VA (Veterans Administration) Hospital workers who, I believe, provide the best services in the world to needy veterans.

Okay to Surrender Yourself to Medical Treatments

I sit passively, leaning back with my head comforted by the head-rest of the chair behind me. Strange. But I am at peace. Another doctor — was it the third, fourth or fifth person I spoke to? — had coated the eye with some “numbing” liquid. It spread over the eye and apparently into whatever cavity leading to the nasal section. My breathing is clearer. So are my thoughts.

Rather, the “lack of thoughts, as I have totally “surrendered” to these physicians, placing the outcome not only in their hands, but those of the Fates, as my ancient Greek ancestors called that Force in the Universe. “Whatever will be, will be,” Doris Day sings in my ear. It’s easy to accept something when you have absolutely no control over that something.

I pondered this as I drove earlier from one hospital to another, wondering if I would lose sight in my eye after seeing an eye doctor at Coatesville (PA) Medical Center. He called Philadelphia to set up this emergency “drill.” What’s the worst scenario, Michael? You’ll be blind in one eye, and won’t be able to see out of the other, unless you wear a contact lens. Otherwise, the world will be a blur, an unfocused, hazy collection of unfeeling objects. Kinda like some people I know who go through life never seeking help or understanding from one another.

Calculating Risks You Take for Improvement

Ok, let’s say I “lost” the eye, I thought. That’ll cut back by 50 percent the amount of money I’d need for contacts lenses. Just buy for one, not two eyes. Won’t have to worry about scratching the glass lens on the left side of my spectacles. Couldn’t see through it anyway.  And, it’s not as if I would actually be “losing” the eye, replacing a natural one with an artificial one, I find myself telling a nice and kind female hospital attendant.

You could still see both of my pretty brown eyes as I smiled your way, I added. I could blink, and the eye would respond. I’d be able to look in your direction and you’d see me looking back at you with both of my happy-to-see-you “peepers.”

Don’t forget the eye patch. A cool, black patch stretched over the eye, as I would stare you down with that sinister and menacing look of the pirate, the swashbuckler, the Omar Sharif-type character that is suave and debonair. What a new look! Might lead people to believe my 100 percent disability rating with the VA was due to the loss of the eye while in combat, and not my hearing loss and/or the PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) “gain.”

Can Eye Drops Help You Reach a Higher State?

The drops placed on my eye immediately preceding the laser incisions seemed to spread over my whole being, bringing a calm I generally only experience while in “deep” meditation. “Doctor Will,” I address the surgeon, Daniel Will, by name. “Do the eye drops make a person feel like they’ve reached Nirvana?”

That’s a new one,” he responds with a laugh. He mentions something about “bottling” it if the stuff really caused such an effect. I “feel” him smile at my remark. And I smile. I now know that no drug is causing me to face this medical “operation” with such an evenly peaceful acceptance on my part.

Must be the advice someone suggested I follow, and that is, to apply the self-administrated procedure of “letting go,” day after day.

     It will help to improve anyone’s vision.

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Gratitude Given Freely Can Grow on You

Want to feel good? Pick out five things each day to show your gratitude. Write ’em down. But, don’t try to fake it. You really gotta look for some thing in your life, some person, some reason that, deep down inside, you can say “makes me grateful.”

That’s a message I got from a fellow named Bill Stauffer who addressed a group of like-minded people who were seeking some spiritual insights this morning. Continue reading

Love’s ‘First Kiss’ Lasts . . . For Ever More

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Thanks for a Path that Preserved my Life

     Ever wonder what life would have been like if you made different choices years earlier?

     Choosing a Different Path May Have Hurt You 

I was 19 when I felt “separated” from most of the people I hung out with and called friends. I wanted to be so much like them; not to care about such things as “love,” “compassion,”  other people’s feelings.” That was “sissy” stuff; stuff that only a “wuss” would think about. I saw these aspects of myself as a “weakness.

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— Why Must This Path Purt So Much? —

Pain: What Good Is It?

     Sometimes, it works. But sometimes it tears into my psyche, bringing with it a fear that this discomfort, this thorn will continue to haunt me, raising its head more and more as I feel the aging process more keenly and with it, an unwanted sense of my mortality, my deterioration and the inevitable end that I will someday meet. When the pain increases and I can’t steer my mind away from it, I know deep inside that the end is not so very far away!

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Veterans find joy in their own backyards

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