You invited me to your House, and I broke confidence in you.
Category Archives: Vietnam veterans
Abraham, Martin & John Live On Within
Rain pours on me outside, while soft music warms me on the inside. “Abraham, Martin, and John,” the song, plays from this relatively new gadget called a portable, hand-held, transistor radio.
College Life Repeats Itself Each Generation
Sat next to a long hair, skinny, “Hippie” guy at an orientation in a community college yesterday, and felt thrown back to a time years ago, sitting cross-legged on the floor across from a similar fellow wondering what the hell I was doing there.
Act of Contrition Helps Regain My Purity
Got Blanket Absolution yesterday. And, it felt so good, I became a 12-year-old again. Ready to face the world with a clear conscious and a pure heart.
Pain Endures from Struggles in a ‘Back’ Life
The pain feels like someone thrust a spear in my back. That I was in battle. At the city of Troy. Fighting with fellow Greeks for the foolish prize of a minor King’s run-a-way, but lovely, wife, Helen. She with a face that will launch a thousand ships.
School Boss drives Vietnam Veteran Nuts
Felt I was back in war maneuvering through a mine field called the new educational system yesterday.
Continue readingUnexplained ‘Pull’ leading me back Home
A gentle “pull” manifested in my Life recently. I noticed it last night while driving and wanted no more than to live in each passing moment.
Weekend Euphoria Needs Time To Set
The Greatest Weekend — No. II
* Uncertain if my true love would ever be mine, I fell to my knees . . . praying for her affection. It was . . . a Sunday.
Labyrinth opens a hidden maze inside me
Walked a Labyrinth and stepped back into the Vietnam War last night.
Trouble is . . . I liked it. Did not want to leave the maze despite what lay ahead. Strangely, I felt “safe” there. Secure in my “skills.” Didn’t want to come home. Just like years earlier.
Shiatsu workout straightens out back & Chi
Back talk. Anyone experiencing pain might know where I’m headed. My back is talking loud and clear, and no matter what I do, I can’t shut it up.
Goin’ to farm; pick blueberries barefooted
Cousin Rosemarie Lieb.
Don Quixote battles PTSD in Philly courts
I never felt more like Don Quixote than when I represented a woman charged with a crime.
Seeing improves with my cataract removal
My “Fishbowl” Look is Gone.
Saigon Lady offers wisdom at check out
Saigon Lady taught me about Life and Buddhism last night.
Continue reading
PTSD Creates New ‘Cause and Condition’
Causes and Conditions
Answers to Questions about Vietnam War
This Veteran tells a Student about the War
Continue readingA soldier bows in salute to heartfelt words
A Soldier, and No One Else!
Light shines here from a tip of the candle
Veterans Can Share Understanding of War
‘Veterans are the light at the tip of the candle, illuminating the way for the whole nation.
50 chews per bite is goal, not meals’ end!
The Outcome Doesn’t Matter
War guilt haunts veteran year after year
Premonition of Something Bad Arises
Merging Two into One Okay, Michael J
“Belief in God, and
following Buddhism
is not incompatible.”
Grief Delayed me while in Military Service
I was in the Army less than a week when the news hit me. I had my head shaven; my civilian clothes exchanged for fatigue pants and a shirt, not to mention boots and headgear, something I had never worn before in my life.
Got drafted on the Third of June, the day that Billie Jo McAllister jumped off the Tallahatchie Bridge! I was 19 years old in 1968 — knew no one — and was away from my Philadelphia, PA, home for the first time.
Hudson River Magic Calls me to Omega
Got a check for $9 in the mail yesterday. It was for travel expenses on a trip I took five months ago. It came to me like magic. I must have lost it in the IKEA store of Conshohocken, and it just appeared out of nowhere for my return trip.
Old warriors share PTSD woes with young
Never thought of myself as a “warrior.” Wasn’t that a term used by Third World tribes or ancient civilizations building empires on one war after another?
‘Sutta Nipata’ Calls me to Omega Institute
Will return to Omega Institute this week for a 5-day Retreat to meditate on PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) with veterans led by the Rev. Claude AnShin Thomas, an ordained Buddhist monk and a Vietnam War veteran.
Miracle copies manifest at Philly VA Center
Does the Universe conspire to create minor miracles on a given day? Yes. But only if you believe in modern-day miracles.
Acupuncture pitches ‘halvies’ to a Vet
Had an “Out-of-Body” Experience.
VA Hearing raises PTSD questions of trust
Why do I feel the VA (Veterans Administration) likes to push my face into the mud every once in a while?
PTSD’s permanent address is at my home
Compensation and Review Board is the name given to a panel of persons with the Veterans’ Administration that recommends whether a disability rating should be approved for a deserving veteran.
PTSD battle takes its toll in Life-Long Fear
You don’t know how easily I scare.
I hate to admit this, but I become afraid when I get into harm’s way. I try to avoid it. Try to go with the flow. But when harm settles in my general area, I become as timid as a rabbit jumping back in a hole after seeing his own shadow.
Buddha Guides Me thru VA PTSD Path
Possibly Cont’d from Trappist monk helps veteran ‘awaken’ me
Buddha came in the shape of a dark-haired, dark-skinned attractive yoga-practicing woman, smiling upon me in a dream.
Continue readingName-caller gets his butt kicked in the end
Originally Cont’d from Name-calling can get you kicked in the end 1-28-10
Calling a kid names could cause a lasting scar one may have to deal with later in life.
‘Letting Go’ Requires Faith and Hope
Cont’d from Seeing is believing in the ‘letting go’ process 1-30-10
“Letting go” is a process I thought I had completely bought into when I “gave up” trying to control things and had surgery done on my eye.
Part III, Don’t “Squander Away” Your Life
Originally Cont’d from Don’t squander away your life 12-5-09
How can I deal with PTSD and prevent “squandering away” my life?
Trappist Monk helps Veteran ‘Awaken’ me
Con’td from Schuylkill Expressway miracle paves road to VA
The first Buddha emerged in my dream as a muscular military-type, with short-cropped hair and engaging smile. Asian? No, Hispanic, but with a possible trace of someone from an exotic Asian island.
Visit with Disabled American Veterans (DAV)
‘Right’ Path Never Obstructed Long, Part II
Originally Cont’d from ‘Right’ path may never be obstructed long 2-18-10
Not once did I have to step on the brake. And I left my house shortly before 9 am — the tail end of rush-hour traffic — to get to a 10 o’clock appointment.
A ‘right’ path may never be obstructed long
Con’td from Rooster helps open path to miraculous day
Oh no! I forgot my ID. Second day in a row I pulled such a stupid stunt. And here I am, braving the snow and cold to drive from Conshohocken, PA, to the Veterans Administration building in Philadelphia.
Bodhisattvas’ (Compassion) Practices -35
35
When disturbing emotions are habituated, it is difficult to overcome them with antidotes. By arming oneself with the antidotal weapon of mindfulness, to destroy disturbing emotions such as desire the moment they first arise is the Bodhisattvas’ practice.
Damn War To Hell & Take PTSD With It
Damn PTSD.
‘Les We Forget’ Names Called our Soldiers
No one’s Ever Called Me “Baby-Killer.”
Name-calling can get you kicked in the end
Patty DeMarco made me cry. He called me names and wouldn’t stop as I tried to walk away, with him following me on the North Philadelphia street we lived. On and on he went, badmouthing me, until he saw my brother, who helped me into his little red wagon, and pulled it home, me sobbing all the while behind. I was four years old.
Joy Found in Everyday ‘Common’ Ground
Part III in totem series (Hawk, tiger & sparrow)
There’s nothing quite as common as a cracker, one of those Saltines, that is . . .
Run away & you live to fight another day
Originally cont’d from Last minute reprieve delays eye execution 1-25-10
I have never been good at waiting, and when I have something unpleasant to do — like undergo an operation in the hospital — I prefer to get it over with. Quickly. And not have to count the minutes that seem to pass by so excruciatingly slow.
‘Letting go’ provides a better ‘vision’ in life
Psychedelic green bursts of light pulse across my eye. It’s like a strobe light flashing over and over, as I “see” a colorful cascade of a lime green pigment appear before me as if it’s penetrating the eyeball itself.
Veterans’ PTSD Helped at Omega Lands
Pictures, statues and other works of art often capture the beauty of the soul as people seek peace and love through different spiritual paths.
Women Know the Help Boys Need in War
1917 – “Through a Glass Darkly” Continue reading
Macho Man Marvels at Mistaken Miss
I’ve been shooting the bull the past several weeks with JhanaJian, of whom I thought was this “Asian guy” from Vietnam. Turns out I was wrong. Dead wrong about everything I thought I knew about JhanaJian.
Gratitude Given Freely Can Grow on You
Want to feel good? Pick out five things each day to show your gratitude. Write ’em down. But, don’t try to fake it. You really gotta look for some thing in your life, some person, some reason that, deep down inside, you can say “makes me grateful.”
Saigon Lady Serves up Smile & Forgiveness
You never know when Fate will offer a blessing in disguise.
Saw an Asian woman handling the checkout at a nearby Target store and joked with her about a gift I was getting for my son’s birthday three months from today. It was a holiday box with no writing on it, nothing to suggest it was from Xmas.
Meditation lets my energy flow from within
Part II, Continued from On road to Peace, I found some “Bhuddies”
How Do I Meditate? Continue reading
On road to Peace, I found some “Bhuddies”
For the first time in my life, I attended a Buddhist gathering knowing that I wanted to learn more about meditation and the teachings about compassion and loving kindness.
Why We Want No More War Anniversaries
War is good for no one.
No one is good for war.
Continue reading
PTSD Anquish Served up at Bread Store
Unappreciated . . . Unwanted . . . Unloved . . .
Terrorists force VA to strip vet of dignity
The Terrorists Won.
They pushed my face into the dirt. Made me low crawl through those metal detectors. Violated me like no prison incarceration could ever have make me feel.
Continue reading
November 22, a Day like no other USA Day
My 10th-grade mathematics teacher whispers the horrible news: “Somebody shot the president.”
Back Repairs Sought to Bolster Life of Back
I “intend” to repair my back. Not “cure” it. Not “fix“ it.
Finally, Light Shines on My Mutiny Quash
I lied to my platoon to prevent a mutiny from bursting to a head some 40 years ago.
Finally, Light Shines on My Mutiny Quash
I lied to my platoon to prevent a Mutiny from bursting to a head some 40 years ago.
Acupuncture calms stress, a veteran’s woes
Needles punctured my ears for the first time in my life this week.
Veterans’ Day Offers Acupuncture at WON Institute
Acupuncture was being offered for one free session to veterans on Veterans’ Day, and I appeared at the WON Institute in Glenside, PA, to take advantage of the procedure. The practitioner, Ed Cunningham, was kind, offering me some cheese and crackers as we made small talk and I got ready for the event.
PTSD Raises a Monster Head from a Toilet
Put a straitjacket on me.
PTSD therapy often comes from survivors
War Zone Fears Not Easily Discussed by Veterans
“Opening up” to a stranger is, at best, difficult to do. Confiding your “war zone” fears with a non-veteran can be worse, unless PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) serves as a bond between a brother and a sister.
Will Vietnam PTSD Trap ever set me Free?
What do anger, dreams, PTSD, and “Letting Go“ of one’s past have to do with each other? They’re all part of a discussion on vetting our emotions through dreams to deal with our conscious selves. Join me and another Michael J in our recent comments to his post: Practicing for the Bardo by Urbansannyasin
Continue readingDresden calls Kurt Vonnegut Jr. to Blog
Margo lived through the bombing of Dresden, Germany more than 60 years ago.
Continue readingTrying to Make Amends for Vietnam War
How do you say you’re sorry to a people whose country you bombed in the name of peace and democracy?
What words can you use after saying that you are personally sorry for the Vietnam War and the mistakes our government made some 40 years ago?
Continue readingLife’s Ultimate Prize Goes to Those Aware
I admit it. I cheated.
Safe Place Still No Guard Against PTSD
My Correspondence with a Woman with PTSD
PTSD alert: don’t squander away your life
A Teutonic Plate shifted inside of me.
When Is Using God’s Name Blasphemy?
God damn it. I forgot the lead I wanted to write here.
Continue readingRelease Me; I Swear I’ll Never Sin Again
Hey. Please get me out of here.
Identity Loss Leads to New Outlook on Life
I lost my wallet.
Continue reading— Who’s to Blame For War After War? —
I Blame God for War.
— Some Wounds May Never Ever Heal —
The Vietnam War Changed Joe.
It stripped him of all interest in leading people in any official capacity.
— Why Must This Path Purt So Much? —
Pain: What Good Is It?
“Thank you” for letting me serve, somehow
- Ever get more out of doing something nice for someone than that person ever expected you could possibly get?
Potluck heads bucket list of things to do
Lighting Up With Something New in Life
My favorite store greeter told me she wanted to smoke grass before turning 60.
Veterans find joy in their own backyards
You can’t know how much pleasure there is in feeding a squirrel until you open yourself to the wonders of nature . . . and of course . . . feed a squirrel . . . daily.
Dream reveals a Key to Unlocking Paradise
I dreamed I wore a dress to a training class for new lawyers learning to defend criminal defendants.
Serving others helps to serve you as well
The purpose of Life is to Know, Love, and Serve the Creator.
What’s Love Got To Do with My PTSD?
Love can Help You Deal with PTSD
Angels Appear as Earthly Messengers
It’s just like heaven . . . Being here with you . . . You’re like an Angel . . Too good to be true. When You are near me. My heart skips a beat. I can hardly stand on. My own two feet. Because I Love You; I Love You, I Do. ‘Angel Baby’. My ‘Angel Baby’. Oh, Ooh, I Love You, Oh, Ooh, I Do . . . No One Could Love You . . . Like I Do! — Rosie & the Originals
Contoveros 