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Category Archives: Letting Go
Joy found in everyday ‘Common’ Ground
Part III in totem series (Hawk, tiger & sparrow) Continue reading
Hawk, tiger & sparrow send wake-up call
Part I in the Totem Series Continue reading
“Soma” practice sensually loosens me up
Youth recaptured through football hurdle
Meditation time is right in this moment
Meditation time is right in this moment
‘Letting go’ provides a better ‘vision’ in life
Psychedelic green bursts of light pulse across my eye. It’s like a strobe light flashing over and over, as I “see” a colorful cascade of a lime green pigment appear before me as if it’s penetrating the eyeball itself.
It is! And, it’s called a “laser” procedure that a doctor from Presbyterian Hospital, a division of the University of Pennsylvania Hospital, Philadelphia, PA (USA), is performing on my left eye. Flash after flash of the laser erupts across the eye in lightening-like shapes. Are those the veins of the eye this magical light is brightening as it strikes?
He “lasers” through one hundred and twenty-four “spots” on two different sections of the eye, where they discovered I had a detached retina. I thought I scratched the eye with a contact lens, but was wrong. (See: lens hazard) And there I was yesterday, getting emergency treatment from VA (Veterans Administration) Hospital workers who, I believe, provide the best services in the world to needy veterans.
Okay to Surrender Yourself to Medical Treatments
I sit passively, leaning back with my head comforted by the head-rest of the chair behind me. Strange. But I am at peace. Another doctor — was it the third, fourth or fifth person I spoke to? — had coated the eye with some “numbing” liquid. It spread over the eye and apparently into whatever cavity leading to the nasal section. My breathing is clearer. So are my thoughts.
Rather, the “lack“ of thoughts, as I have totally “surrendered” to these physicians, placing the outcome not only in their hands, but those of the Fates, as my ancient Greek ancestors called that Force in the Universe. “Whatever will be, will be,” Doris Day sings in my ear. It’s easy to accept something when you have absolutely no control over that something.
I pondered this as I drove earlier from one hospital to another, wondering if I would lose sight in my eye after seeing an eye doctor at Coatesville (PA) Medical Center. He called Philadelphia to set up this emergency “drill.” What’s the worst scenario, Michael? You’ll be blind in one eye, and won’t be able to see out of the other, unless you wear a contact lens. Otherwise, the world will be a blur, an unfocused, hazy collection of unfeeling objects. Kinda like some people I know who go through life never seeking help or understanding from one another.
Calculating Risks You Take for Improvement
Ok, let’s say I “lost” the eye, I thought. That’ll cut back by 50 percent the amount of money I’d need for contacts lenses. Just buy for one, not two eyes. Won’t have to worry about scratching the glass lens on the left side of my spectacles. Couldn’t see through it anyway. And, it’s not as if I would actually be “losing” the eye, replacing a natural one with an artificial one, I find myself telling a nice and kind female hospital attendant.
You could still see both of my pretty brown eyes as I smiled your way, I added. I could blink, and the eye would respond. I’d be able to look in your direction and you’d see me looking back at you with both of my happy-to-see-you “peepers.”
Don’t forget the eye patch. A cool, black patch stretched over the eye, as I would stare you down with that sinister and menacing look of the pirate, the swashbuckler, the Omar Sharif-type character that is suave and debonair. What a new look! Might lead people to believe my 100 percent disability rating with the VA was due to the loss of the eye while in combat, and not my hearing loss and/or the PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) “gain.”
Can Eye Drops Help You Reach a Higher State?
The drops placed on my eye immediately preceding the laser incisions seemed to spread over my whole being, bringing a calm I generally only experience while in “deep” meditation. “Doctor Will,” I address the surgeon, Daniel Will, by name. “Do the eye drops make a person feel like they’ve reached Nirvana?”
“That’s a new one,” he responds with a laugh. He mentions something about “bottling” it if the stuff really caused such an effect. I “feel” him smile at my remark. And I smile. I now know that no drug is causing me to face this medical “operation” with such an evenly peaceful acceptance on my part.
Must be the advice someone suggested I follow, and that is, to apply the self-administrated procedure of “letting go,” day after day.
It will help to improve anyone’s vision.
Highly sensitive people get highest grade
Nirvana provides escape from all assaults
How you can smile in the face of Death
Second Opinions Sought for My Salvation
Warmth flows to side where heart’s needed
Dalai Lama Fulfills My Holiday Wish List
Please See original Story My Xmas Wish List to the Dalai Lama Continue reading
Bartlows’ dinner drives away all the blues
Police nab attention whenever One roams
Coming home grows out of Inner Wisdom
Part III of Bunny Series, see Run-Away Bunny
Continue reading
Run-Away Bunny Makes Snow Escape
Part I
Continue reading
Home visit will provide internal answers
Be Humble; Let Love Grow Inside Your Self
Snow & Zen Usher in Winter of 2009-2010
“Do good, do no harm, still your mind”
A Flower Blooms then Rests in the Buddha
My Xmas Wish List to the Dalai Llama
Think Buddha ever signed new members?
Life’s Journey leads me to a Tea Ceremony
Meditation lets my energy flow from within
On road to Peace, I found some “Bhuddies”
For the first time in my life I attended a Buddhist gathering knowing that I wanted to learn more about meditation and the teachings about compassion and loving kindness.
I entered the room and was instructed to remove my shoes which were placed in a small hallway. I then walked into the center with my hands closed in a prayer and my eyes wide open for whatever I could behold.
Then, I fell to my knees, slowly crawled along a mat, and “scrunched” my bottom onto a firm, six-inch pillow. Tucked my legs beneath my raised body and closed my eyes, ready for this Service.
They started chanting. About 25 other souls who appeared here after braving a rainy Sunday morning, were speaking a foreign language in this, the Chenrezig Tibetan Buddhist Center of Philadelphia. An Asian man wearing a brown “monk’s” robe led the Prayer Service. He sat in the Lotus position on a platform some 10-to-12 inches above a white painted wooded floor. He smiled often. And spoke the Tibetan language as well as English, someone told me later.
About ten people sat in chairs, possibly to prevent any stress to bad backs. The rest of us sat on the comfortable pillows that rested above red, padded mats measuring some 2-by-3 feet. Candles were lighted toward the front of the center. There was a slight smell of incense; I was told that someone had lit, but then extinguished a stick, because another suffered from allergy to the scent.
Each of us were provided a red-covered “prayer” book, containing some 50 pages of various prayers and chants in both English and possibly Sanskrit and/or Tibet. Pictures of Buddhist deities as well as one of the Dalai Llama headed some pages. A larger picture of the Dalai Llama rested in what I called a “guru-like” posture behind the Philadelphian spiritual guide.
Somebody mentioned how fortunate “we” were because the spiritual leader, Losang Samten, planned to perform a “tea ceremony.” Great, I thought. I heard of this in my earlier practice with mindfulness meditation the past year, but never witnessed or took part in one. Fellow practitioners were “once-a-week meditators” and seemed to simply “tolerate” the Dharma presentations our Zen teacher mixed in with “body scans,” “sitting” sessions, and the occasional “walking meditations.”
How did I — a red-blooded U.S. veteran, one awarded a bronze star for fighting for flag, mom’s apple pie and everything American — end up bowing to a bunch of Buddhists? What beckoned me to mingle with fellow Philadelphians who not only helped support a spiritual leader to guide them toward “Enlightenment,” but to teach of a spiritual movement created twenty-five hundred years ago by a prince who exchanged riches for the life of a beggar in trying to end mankind’s suffering?
Synchronicity. Stuff like this happens, according to the psychologist, Dr. Carl Jung. And, coincidence has nothing to do with it. I planned to have lunch at a “Spaghetti Warehouse” with my first and only gathering of a “Meet Up” Group up the street from the Buddhist center. We were to “tour” or simply “attend” the Buddhist service and then discuss the activity over food and possibly a drink.
I never made it for spaghetti. Never got a chance to formally introduce myself to the “Meet Up” people. I simply stayed for the Buddhist semi-annual meeting with the permission of one of the group’s officers who allowed me, a non-member, First Generation Greek-American, to see the “behind-the-scenes” goings-on of full-fledged Buddhist followers.
I quickly learned they were no more different from you and I.
Please see Part II, –Meditation lets my energy flow
Who’s Calling Me This Time? Oh, it’s YOU!
Light shines from a trunk labeled ‘patience’
Why We Want No More War Anniversaries
Falcon Reveals World of Mystery & Hope
Listen: “Beloved” Calls to You and Me
Feeling God’s Presence in this Moment
The right brain activates love & awareness
Pranic Healing Begets Mighty Meta Care
Love’s ‘First Kiss’ Lasts . . . For Ever More
Meditation prevents brush with the law
Child wins game, plays Sounds from within
Needn’t kill your Self to be like Buddha
Jew, Christian and Muslim Sheik Agree
A small miracle is happening right before our eyes if we only open our hearts to see.
A minister, a rabbi and a Muslim sheik put their differences on the line and walked away clearing an unobstructed path to God.
They met together and spoke of the greatest aspects of their respective faiths, as well as what they believed were the most divisive.
What they most valued as the core teachings of their tradition:
the minister “unconditional love.”
the sheik “compassion.”
the rabbi “oneness.”
What they regarded as the “untruths” in their own faith:
the minister: “Christianity is the only Way to God.”
the rabbi: the notion of Jews as “the Chosen People.”
the sheik: the “sword verses” in the Koran, like “Kill the Unbeliever.”
Now, I’m simply using my poetic license here. About that “Unobstructed Path to God,” that is. But read this story submitted by Dustin.
It is from a newspaper article of the “three amigos” who may, one can only hope, help to unite all again. (See if you don’t agree!)
(Press here for the great story of friendship)
In the end, “being child-like” curbs aging
November 22, a day like no other USA day
My 10th-grade mathematics teacher whispers the horrible news: “Somebody shot the president.”
Panic starts, spreading quickly through the classroom. Everyone is talking, particularly those who only hear part of the news.
Someone asks her, my favorite teacher, to repeat what was overheard. “The President has just been shot,” she says. Her face is now ashen white.
“But, I didn’t ‘intend’ for that to happen!”
Life Lessons Seen In Window Watching
Window gazing can often answer some of Life’s Questions.
I look outside, see nature moving, and learn lessons about how to enjoy living in a matter of a few seconds. Let me show you what I digested just now:
Continue reading
Back Repairs Sought to Bolster Life of Back
I “intend” to repair my back.
Not “cure” it. Not “fix” it.
Just get it back into working order. No more pains while getting out of bed or putting one leg after another into a pair of pants. That’s all. Make the back serviceable again.
Finally, Light Shines on My Mutiny Quash
I lied to my platoon to prevent a Mutiny from bursting to a head some 40 years ago.
Today, I granted myself forgiveness. I cleansed a wound that never seemed to heal until now.
Finally, Light Shines on My Mutiny Quash
I lied to my platoon to prevent a mutiny from bursting to a head some 40 years ago.
Today, I granted myself forgiveness. I cleansed a wound that never seemed to heal until now.
I served as a First Lieutenant in Vietnam and was relieved of my command of an infantry platoon just two hours before getting orders to appear at a helicopter base port. Taken by surprise, I met the battalion commander, who asked me to help avoid a military “disaster” from developing any further. My platoon of some 25 soldiers, grunts, as we liked being called, had refused to board the ships that would fly them into the “field” to patrol and engage the enemy. Most of the men sat on the heliport, reclining on their backpacks, disobeying all orders to climb aboard.
A day earlier, several members of the second squad were medivaced to a hospital after being ambushed by the Viet Cong. I had assigned a sergeant with some 10 years of experience to lead the squad. Unfortunately, he was “new in-country” and may not have had time to become acclimatized to the situation. In other words, he didn’t know what he was supposed to do in a war zone yet.
Our superior officer blamed me, the man in charge, and for the second time in my young military career, I found myself removed from my command. I was devastated the first time, and I view that period as the lowest moment of my life. I felt lower than dirt and less useful than the ground below. At least dirt could be used to grow things and offer a structure to build on, I believed then.
This time, however, my being sacked hurt far less. I knew I had done everything to ensure the well-being of my platoon, and instill in each member an esprit de corps that carried over into their individual lives. They learned to live for each other, to work as a unit, to place the needs of the platoon over their own.
It came as no shock when I heard they refused to go to the field! It was a mutiny, pure and simple. They protested what they believed was an outrageous act committed against them: the removal of their leader, Lieutenant Michael J Contos, yours truly.
(See Part 2 My Mutiny Quash)
Healing Technique Sparks Family Fall Out
“Unclean spirits!” The words hit me like a ton of bricks. Across my face.
Besides being rejected, I felt lightning had just stuck the ground beneath me. I detected fear and the raising of a drawbridge that would block out all light, no matter where the Source originated.
Thanks for a Path that Preserved my Life
Ever wonder what life would have been like if you made different choices years earlier?
I was 19 when I felt “separated” from most of the people I hung out with and called friends. I wanted to be so much like them; not to care about such things as “love,” “compassion,” other people’s “feelings.” That was “sissy” stuff; stuff that only a “wuss” would think about. I saw these aspects of myself as a “weakness.“
Meditation opens a new path way home
Driving Should Always Be This Much Fun!
I’m talking about my ride home from an “introduction to meditation” class I took at Montgomery County Community College the other night (Southeast Pennsylvania, about 20 miles outside of Philadelphia). Our instructors talked us into a place where I asked two simple questions: “Who Are You?” and “Who Were You?” We took part in an exercise to find our other “Self,” and I met what I have come to describe as a friendly “pathfinder.”
Letting Go to “Let God” for under $19.95
Got inspired by a glimpse of another’s soul the other day and it cost me Nothing.
Nada. Zippo.
Not a Penny.
Why mishaps plague me today of all days
Footsteps pounding on the steps woke me this morning. My teenage son was running down the stairs. I heard him as I lay in bed.
Continue readingCan’t Writing Just Be Enough For Ya’ll?
True selves revealed in Hot Tub exposure
Green Eyes demand attention, love and you
Seeing life in another lane, in another person, at another time and place, can bring out something inside of you that was there all along, but was unable to surface until a precise moment developed.
Looking back, you wonder, how could I have not seen this before? Where was my mind, and why did I overlook it when it stared me straight in the eyes, begging me for just the slight payment of attention?
‘Sliding Door’ let’s roads merge right now
Only the Now Exists Right Now!
Only the Now Exists Right Now!
Was it Gertrude Stein, the early 20th-century poet and writer, who said, ” There was no ‘there’ there?“
Could we not be on a path, but in a circle?
No beginning? No end? Only now!
Continue readingMeditation caps TBI conference in Philly
Meditation rewarded me with what Buddhists call “Nothing” at the end of a traumatic day Saturday.
I was at a conference involving brain injuries when I noticed on the day-long schedule that mindfulness meditation would be “discussed” for survivors and their caregivers at Jefferson Hospital in Philadelphia, PA. Unable to talk my loved one into “taking” a “seat,” I went alone, and was surprised to see so many of the newly acquired friends I had just made while attending previous workshops earlier in the day
Continue readingBirds play in ‘carefree flight’ above me!
A scene from a Hitchcock movie rushed before my eyes as I saw a half dozen birds fly toward me while stuck in traffic this afternoon.
Continue readingTorn between ‘Writing’ and ‘Meditating’
Walking Meditation Nearly Takes a Dive
Bumping into the wall and walking to the edge of a swimming pool with eyes firmly shut is not the best way to do a Walking Meditation.
Continue readingHope Floats On Bubbling Spa Waters
Close your eyes, and you might see.
See the weightlessness that your body becomes as you float on the waters of a nearby spa.
‘One Step Back’ leads to ‘Two Forward’
Ever learn about yourself while giving heartfelt advice to someone else?
My kid served as a mirror this morning, as I discussed why he should not quit on his “tech” teacher at school.
It ain’t easy admitting that you, the parent, may need the same sage advice as the child. Worse yet, is trying to reason with a 17-year-old. They are so smart, they know practically everything to know in this world.
Longing Creates the Love for Ever More
A Sufi approach to life has grown on me, particularly in its Spiritual view.
Love, according to the wise ones, is both masculine and/or feminine. “I love you,” is clearly masculine, while “I am waiting for you; I am longing for you” suggests the feminine side.
Continue readingEating right can be such sweet sorrow
Life’s Ultimate Prize Goes to Those Aware
I admit it. I cheated. I rushed to a finish line and cheated myself. I thought I could complete the course as quickly as possible to move on to the next life event. But it took me but a moment to realize my mistake.
I had cheated myself of real improvement, real growth and I now know that the true challenge in life lies in the smallest detail.
Unable to get into the pool for my morning swim today, I exercised on Nautilus equipment, killing time until the water aerobics class would end. I punished my legs, arms, and torso, pushing and straining my muscles on various machines. I then came to the exercise equipment to work on the abdomen, that part of my body that resembles a watermelon in a well-watered garden, when I read the instructions for what seemed like the hundredth time, only this time the words sank in.
Slow Down to Fully Appreciate the Moment
Instead of pounding the bar that tightened my stomach muscle and quickly releasing the tension, I realized that I needed to “hold” that tension — that pressure — to gain the most benefit from the exercise. In other words, I had to “slow down” instead of “speed up” as I have done. Not only at the LA Fitness Gym in the Roxborough section of Philadelphia, PA, for the past two years, but my whole life.

I drew a major lesson from this rather mundane exercise. I have rushed through life, always looking toward the end product, the completion date, the finish line. I rarely took time to be aware of my surroundings, my environment, myself as I speeded ahead. Looking back, I see that my life was nothing more than starts and finishes, starting and getting through college, studying to get a masters’ degree, and then that first, the second and then a third job as I rushed to arm myself with a good reputation and a chance for prospering in the future for my Social Security.
Products for a Later Time Puchased Now
Save money for a future “rainy day,” place weekly deposits in a company-matched 401-K, and then set up an annuity as quickly as possible to ensure an income years down the road.
When had I ever taken time to stop and pause, really be in the moments of my life that truly mattered? Sure, there was a wedding (two for this once-divorced fellow!), not to mention the birth of my son. Getting out of a war zone called Vietnam makes my all-time list, as well as speaking at a graduation class, and jumping out of an airplane (not recommended for the faint of heart!).
But these are only highlighted moments of a life that I now look at and wonder where it was all leading to . . . what has been the purpose . . . and if I could do it all over again, would I have made the same choices?
Few Changes Now Sought for My Past Acts
I can’t answer any of those questions, except perhaps for the last one. I’m a “Stubborn Greek,” and I don’t think I would have changed anything. (Well, there was that night with Peggy McPeake, when we were all alone . . . in her mother’s living room . . . on the couch, well, never mind about that).
Life zipped by without my notice. It was only yesterday, I feel, that Uncle Sam’s letter announced “Greetings …” and the government drafted me, forcing me to live away from my parents for the first time. Law school graduation could not have been 20 years ago, could it? (Actually, 21.) Where has the time gone as I moved from one career to another, one accomplishment after another, one of life’s goals after another, then another… and another?
Where has my life gone? And why couldn’t I have stopped myself from this forced rush to complete a project, to finish a task, to get to that “end result” Even if I had to cut corners to get there, get to that final result.
Cutting Corners.
We all do it.
We find ways to solve a problem once, and we start to speed up the process the next time, using our experience to push us over the hurdle and to run to the next task. These are all highly commendable achievements that we hang on our trophy walls. Many are laudable and admirable when viewed in our halls of fame at home and at our workplace.
But what have we given up to get here, to this place where the “there” is hardly any more special than the starting points of most of our endeavors.
If we had only slowed down. If we had but looked at where we were as we ran along our path, we might have seen signs we missed. Signs advising us that life is far more than that next accolade, the next award, the so-called “crowning achievement.”
Enjoy and Truly Live in the Moment
We would have lived. I mean truly lived in the moment, cherishing it for all its worth, living it to the fullest as we consciously see — perhaps for the first time — how much beauty a single moment has to offer to one who has made themselves aware of that instant moment in time.
That “precious moment.” The moment when you slow down enough to read the print (I wish I could lie, get off the hook, and say I couldn’t read the “fine print,” on the abdomen machine, but hell, I am a trained lawyer. No one would buy it), and realize that you have exercised the wrong way for years. That you . . . I mean, that I . . . have not been getting the true benefit that a pause and a slowdown in my life could offer me.
“SLOW DOWN.”
Sounds like an old labor tactic we used to discuss when I worked as a union representative and later, a union organizer. Had I, myself, been a little better organized, I would have learned a true prize would eventually go to the slow and sure-footed man or woman “aware” of and “in” the moment.
Maybe there’s still time for me.
PTSD alert: don’t squander away your life
A Teutonic Plate shifted inside of me.
I felt someone had thrown water at my face, had “hit me upside my head” and looked me dead in the eye demanding my fullest attention. Have I been squandering away my life?
Wasting my life?
Why even ask this question now, when my most productive years, the salary-producing ones, have ended as I have “gone on disability” and live from the benefits provided by the Veterans Administration and not from my labor?
This question shook me to the marrow of my bones a few days ago. I was attending a workshop for veterans and their families facing PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) when I felt a Greek Chorus address me with its multiple groupings of male and female voices, advising me not to squander away my life.
Later, I asked myself what it actually means, this “squandering” business.
What’s there to Really Squander Away in Life — Life Itself
And does anyone intentionally set out to squander a life away? Squander. Most people only use the word sparingly, and usually when money is the focus of the inquiry. We all have heard examples in our lives: “He’s going to squander away his inheritance,” or “she squandered away all the money raised for little Jimmy’s operation,” and one of my favorites espoused by today’s pundits, ” George W. Bush squandered away all the Good Will America generated right after 9 – 11.”
“Squander” hardly ever appears alone. I normally see it used with the word, “away,” as in the loss of some unique skill. “We had so much hope in his potential, but he seemed to have ‘squandered away‘ his (fill in the blanks) . . .”Natural Ability” . . . “Writing Talent” . . . “Singing Career,” etc.”)
But I’m not talking about forfeiting some achievement, great wealth, or some future thing.
I’m talking about Life.
How does one squander that away?
(See Part II, Squander)
‘Infinite Mercy’ May Set my Teacher Free
My son’s favorite teacher killed herself.
She was depressed, they said, when she took the life of her three-year-old son. Then . . . she committed suicide, leaving a note for her husband and the child’s father.
Tibetan Book Winds its Way Thru My Life
I got a chill when I saw the word “Tibet” today because it took me back to the late 1960s when I was a newly minted second lieutenant trying to make his way in the US Army. The words that impressed me then, however, had nothing to do with the military. It had everything to do with life. Nearly 40 years later, I see that the “Tibetan Book of the Dead” called out to me, though I may not have known it then. Continue reading
When Is Using God’s Name Blasphemy?
God damn it. I forgot the lead I wanted to write here.
It was on the tip of my tongue (pen, key board key, etc.), and Christ, I lost it.
Jesus… How the hell can I ever be a successful Blogger if I am this Stupid?
Well, let’s hear it. Is this blasphemy? Am I taking the name of the Lord In Vain? Has what I said (wrote) been the basis for sin? Should it?
When Your Helping Just Isn’t Enough
Music (mantra) melts the mind madness
Meditative dining offers food for thought
Eating sausage in the morning helps me “Be in the Moment.”
I dine at an IKEA store in Conshohocken, PA, the North American headquarters for the Swedish furniture company. It offers a restaurant serving good food for prices that beat the costs of diners and even fast-food places. (99 cents for scrambled eggs, home fries, and a choice of bacon or sausage. Coffee is free from 9:30 to 10 a.m. with refills.
Dream reveals a key to unlocking Paradise
I dreamed I wore a dress to a training class for new lawyers learning to defend criminal defendants. No one noticed my garb. None of the other attorneys said anything, and I never felt “different” or out of place as a brand-new public defender awaiting to argue his first case in Court.
But when I left the room and took a break, a supervisor removed the dress as he and others tried to run off with what they said was “inappropriate” clothing for a man’s courtroom appearance.