Author Archives: contoveros
“At Home Comfort” Missing, Dough No Mo’
The Pretzel Store Closed.
And my reason for celebrating Wednesday diminished. What good is staying at home if you can’t fulfill your one, small wish?
A Soft Pretzel. Outside Philadelphia.
A pick up line is all I need to get to you
Empty. Got no juice to run my mouth.
Ran out last few days with memories of dark passages that still seem to clutter up my mind.
Back Repairs Sought to Bolster Life of Back
I “intend” to repair my back. Not “cure” it. Not “fix” it.
Just get it back into working order. No more pains while getting out of bed or putting one leg after another into a pair of pants. That’s all. Make the back serviceable again.
My mutiny quash causes pride, sadness
Part 2 (Please see Light Shines on My Mutiny Quash for Part 1)
I had never felt so proud of anything — ever — as I was of their unselfish act of rebellion. For two hours, they put themselves on the line. No, they didn’t expose themselves to a firefight. (That would come later).
Honored for Looking Out for Their Welfare
Finally, Light Shines on My Mutiny Quash
I lied to my platoon to prevent a Mutiny from bursting to a head some 40 years ago.
Today, I granted myself forgiveness. I cleansed a wound that never seemed to heal until now.
Healing Technique Sparks Family Fall Out
“Unclean spirits!” The words hit me like a ton of bricks. Across my face.
Besides being rejected, I felt lightning had just stuck the ground beneath me. I detected fear and the raising of a drawbridge that would block out all light, no matter where the Source originated.
EFT Workout is good for what Ails You
EFT Work-Out, Part 2
Previous Blog Post Renewed Here
This article was taken from a Blog Post I wrote years ago when trying to explain the “Emotional Freedom Technique” to a family member.
(From: Healing Technique Sparks Family Fall Out)
Post to Post Synchronicity No Coincidence
Tag surfing is a lot like a Box of Chocolate.
You never know what you’re going to get until you “Bite into the Post.“
Thanks for a Path that Preserved my Life
Ever wonder what life would have been like if you made different choices years earlier?
Choosing a Different Path May Have Hurt You
I was 19 when I felt “separated” from most of the people I hung out with and called friends. I wanted to be so much like them; not to care about such things as “love,” “compassion,” other people’s “feelings.” That was “sissy” stuff; stuff that only a “wuss” would think about. I saw these aspects of myself as a “weakness.“
Short Attention Spans Call for Short Posts
What did I learn at “How to Blog” School?
Short Attention Spans call for Short Posts.
Same as the headline above. My teacher advised me to keep my writing to a minimum. People won’t read anything too long, she said.
Meditation opens a new path way home
Driving Should Always Be This Much Fun!
I’m talking about my ride home from an “introduction to meditation” class I took at Montgomery County Community College the other night (Southeast Pennsylvania, about 20 miles outside of Philadelphia). Our instructors talked us into a place where I asked two simple questions: “Who Are You?” and “Who Were You?” We took part in an exercise to find our other “Self,” and I met what I have come to describe as a friendly “pathfinder.”
Letting Go to “Let God” for under $19.95
Got inspired by a glimpse of another’s soul the other day and it cost me Nothing.
Nada. Zippo.
Not a Penny.
Acupuncture calms stress, a veteran’s woes
Needles punctured my ears for the first time in my life this week.
Veterans’ Day Offers Acupuncture at WON Institute
Acupuncture was being offered for one free session to veterans on Veterans’ Day, and I appeared at the WON Institute in Glenside, PA, to take advantage of the procedure. The practitioner, Ed Cunningham, was kind, offering me some cheese and crackers as we made small talk and I got ready for the event.
PTSD Raises a Monster Head from a Toilet
Put a straitjacket on me.
Hide me in a padded room.
Get me away from people.
All those I can harm by PTSD.
Who thinks up these crazy connections?
On finishing a Post on Writing, I glanced at the possibly related articles and got perplexed.
Where did they come up with such ideas?
Why mishaps plague me today of all days
Footsteps pounding on the steps woke me this morning. My teenage son was running down the stairs. I heard him as I lay in bed.
Continue readingCan’t Writing Just Be Enough For Ya’ll?
Why do I have to become a Geek?
Took a Course on Typing but not Computers
It ain’t fair. I never was cut out to learn this computer stuff. I write. That means, I think. That means “I am,” to paraphrase a famous philosophical phrase.
A new You: there at the ‘Stroke of a Key’
Am I in trouble?
Do I need to hire a lawyer?
Why do crazy things always seem to happen to me?
Continue readingLarger print appears for PTSD readings
“Opening up” to a stranger is, at best, difficult to do.
Confiding your “War Zone” fears with a non-veteran can be worse, unless PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) serves as a bond between a brother and a sister.
Continue reading
Primary Source Appears in this Blog Ban 2
Well, there you have it . . . The Pornography ban poster has been transmitted to my blogging site here on WordPress.
Blog Banned; ‘Porn at School Suspected’
Got shut out of my Blog just now.
Can’t get in the front door because the public computer is restricting my entrance. It says that I have, among other things “Italian pornography” in or on my Blog.
“Italian Pornography.”
What the Hell is that?
Gratitude inspires prose, poetry and a post
Gratitude Has Been on my Mind
(A word or two can touch a point within me that calls out for a response. Call it “inspiration,” or whatever, but I feel moved to express deep and personal feelings when I am in a “mindfulness” state of being. Is this what some call a “working” or “writing meditation?” I don’t really know, but I feel positive in performing pieces of prose or poetry prudently per post. Thanks, Ashaglen!)
Posted by Ashaglen on November 9, 2009
“. . . Giving of myself simply because it is born within me . . .”
Ashaglen, isn’t it something to come to a realization of some Universal Truth through the process of meditation? I mean, take your quote I reproduced above. You are “giving” because it is “born within” you. You, me, us… We all have it “born” within us, and all it takes for us to see it manifest is to stop our runaway thoughts and “be in the moment.”
Take time to see and feel the moment when our Inner Self projects love or gratitude or joy, simply because we gave ourselves a “taste” of our child, a picture of our child. (For me, I get to stretch out a warm feeling of love when I think of my dog “Willie” whose been dead for some 20 years but visits me routinely in my dreams.)
I am able to spread out that positive feeling and build upon it with another positive emotion, let’s say “awe,” until I get to a point when I am building blocks of goodness higher and higher within my Self.
Your Writing Inspired Me while Meditating
Whoa, did not want to go this far, but reading you inspired me to take a chance that you might find some interest in how you touched this meditator.
Thanks,
Michael J
True selves revealed in Hot Tub exposure
I bathed with a bevy of beauties yesterday but was unaware of what was beneath their swimsuits until each exposed themselves publicly.
Now, don’t assume this Blog has gone X-rated. Its focus is to capture moments in life and not appeal to any prurient interest.
PTSD therapy often comes from survivors
War Zone Fears Not Easily Discussed by Veterans
“Opening up” to a stranger is, at best, difficult to do. Confiding your “war zone” fears with a non-veteran can be worse, unless PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) serves as a bond between a brother and a sister.
Green Eyes demand attention, love and you
That Right Moment Can Really Help You See
Seeing life in another lane, in another person, at another time and place, can bring out something inside of you that was there all along, but was unable to surface until a precise moment developed.
Looking back, you wonder, how could I have not seen this before? Where was my mind, and why did I overlook it when it stared me straight in the eyes, begging me for just the slight payment of attention?
‘Sliding Door’ let’s roads merge right now
Only the Now Exists Right Now!
Was it Gertrude Stein, the early 20th-century poet and writer, who said, ” There was no ‘there’ there?“
Could we not be on a path, but in a circle?
No beginning? No end? Only now!
Continue readingMeditation caps TBI conference in Philly
‘Nothing’s’ Gonna Change My World’
Meditation rewarded me with what Buddhists call “Nothing” at the end of a traumatic day Saturday.
I was at a conference involving brain injuries when I noticed on the day-long schedule that mindfulness meditation would be “discussed” for survivors and their caregivers at Jefferson Hospital in Philadelphia, PA. Unable to talk my loved one into “taking” a “seat,” I went alone, and was surprised to see so many of the newly acquired friends I had just made while attending previous workshops earlier in the day
Continue readingContoveros’ Nysiros photographs well
First photos from Greece appeared on my Blog today. They were photographed from the Aegean Sea port off the tiny volcano island of Nysiros, which boasts all of four small fishing villages.
Will Vietnam PTSD trap ever set me free?
What do anger, dreams, PTSD, and “Letting Go“ of one’s past have to do with each other? They’re all part of a discussion on vetting our emotions through dreams to deal with our conscious selves. Join me and another Michael J in our recent comments to his post: Practicing for the Bardo by Urbansannyasin
Continue readingBirds play in ‘carefree flight’ above me!
A scene from a Hitchcock movie rushed before my eyes as I saw a half dozen birds fly toward me while stuck in traffic this afternoon.
Sparrows Open Themselves for a Wonderful Air Flight
Continue readingAggression often adds to World Suffering
The following are messages shared on Aggression:
Continue reading
Dresden calls Kurt Vonnegut Jr. to Blog
Margo lived through the bombing of Dresden, Germany more than 60 years ago.
She wants to write about some of her experiences, and I hope she gives us a glimpse of that harrowing experience when war failed to distinguish between the good guys and the bad guys.
Continue readingNegative Neighbor negates all Niceties
It seems that every time I try to be nice to my handicapped wife, she reacts with a negative view towards me and my message.
Continue readingTorn between ‘Writing’ and ‘Meditating’
Having more than an hour before getting breakfast, I wondered whether I should write something or seek refuge in a “sitting meditation.”
Continue readingDespite Road Rage, Light Shines on PTSD
Unable to curb my road rage today, I finally grasped a thread of my PTSD and traced it back to its source.
I Wish I Could Use This Action Whenever PTSD Arises
Continue readingFirst Blog Course May Face a Class Cut
I’m stepping out tonight!
Gonna take my first class ever on how to connect and sustain a Blog.
Walking Meditation Nearly Takes a Dive
Bumping into the wall and walking to the edge of a swimming pool with eyes firmly shut is not the best way to do a Walking Meditation.
Continue readingHope Floats On Bubbling Spa Waters
Close your eyes, and you might see.
See the weightlessness that your body becomes as you float on the waters of a nearby spa.
Floating can Elevate Peace and Calm
‘One Step Back’ leads to ‘Two Forward’
Advising Another Can be a Learning for You
Ever learn about yourself while giving heartfelt advice to someone else?
My kid served as a mirror this morning, as I discussed why he should not quit on his “tech” teacher at school.
It ain’t easy admitting that you, the parent, may need the same sage advice as the child. Worse yet, is trying to reason with a 17-year-old. They are so smart, they know practically everything to know in this world.
Longing Creates the Love for Ever More
A Sufi approach to life has grown on me, particularly in its Spiritual view.
Love has both Masculine and Feminine Sides
Love, according to the wise ones, is both masculine and/or feminine. “I love you,” is clearly masculine, while “I am waiting for you; I am longing for you” suggests the feminine side.
Continue readingThree Positives Trump Anger Every Time
Anger — 2 comments by kaeis
(The following is my comment to a post simply titled, “Anger.”)
You Want Anger?
Eating could be my next great challenge
Here’s a Little Food for Thought:
Why is text messaging confined only to a hand-held devise?
Continue reading
Trying to Make Amends for Vietnam War
How do you say you’re sorry to a people whose country you bombed in the name of peace and democracy?
What words can you use after saying that you are personally sorry for the Vietnam War and the mistakes our government made some 40 years ago?
Continue readingEating right can be such sweet sorrow
Life’s Ultimate Prize Goes to Those Aware
I admit it. I cheated.
I rushed to a finish line and cheated myself. I thought I could complete the course as quickly as possible to move on to the next life event. But it took me but a moment to realize my mistake.
I had cheated myself of real improvement, real growth and I now know that the true challenge in life lies in the smallest detail. Continue reading
I’m saying “Let it go” really means Let it go
Contoveros comments on his Meditation Technique
“[If] . . . we are not keeping ourselves open to the new opportunities that may appear . . . [w]e will miss them because we are still in our old mindset . . .”
Continue readingMother Nature’s quick fix heals the blues
Back For More Meditation and Bird Talk!
Contoveros comments on a Recent Blog Post
Laura,
Watching the birds does help. So does meditation so long as you can nudge out not only the bad thoughts but all thoughts that could intrude upon the present: the watching of birds, the chirping of the birds when you close your eyes; the feel of the sun as it warms your body.
Voice needed to keep us men folk in line
There’s no such thing as “girlfriend aggro”
by Potty Mouth Mommy
This was my response to the above writing 1 day ago:
Spousal Anger Never Truly Understood
Holy Shit!
I stumbled on your post from a thread on “anger” and it blew me away.
Was my wife seething because of my “sports mistress”?
I’m a guy who never really looked at things from that perspective before. I don’t play the dungeon and dragons stuff, but I used to stay glued to a football and/or baseball game come hell or high water.
Family Problems are but “Unicorn Rainbow Poop”
I gotta remember this line from your great post-writing. You have a way with describing something in such earthy, easily relatable terms that makes it a joy to view and ponder.
But would you have been so inspired to bring forth such an informative and entertaining post if life provided you with a Rose Garden?
Ok, ok, you’ll take a rose garden any day over a life of thorns, weeds and creepy, crawly, critters sometimes called a spouse.
The Better Half and the Lower Half
You “are” appreciated. You ARE loved. You are “needed” to share your voice with both the better half (you women) and the lower half (” some,” . . . all right, . . . “most” . . . damn it! Do I really got to say “ALL” . . . men?) [present company excluded, particularly when you will only be able to see or hear me bellowing out words that’ll appear on a “man-made” computer terminal.
{Crap. The automatic edit machine wanted me to change “man-made” to “synthetic.” The computer has no balls, let alone an eye for literary art . . . Humph!}
Please continue with your contributions. It could help keep some of us in line or to get “back” in line.]
— Michael J Contos
(Comments are from a post on spousal (righteous) anger two weeks ago)
Safe Place Still No Guard Against PTSD
My Correspondence with a Woman with PTSD
You got it Sweetheart!
PTSD is what this Vietnam War veteran is talking about.
Comments Cure Contoveros’ Curiosity
Thanks for Opening Eyes With Your Mind
* * * * * * *
(For more clarity, click the underlined sentence above.)
PTSD alert: don’t squander away your life
A Teutonic Plate shifted inside of me.
I felt someone had thrown water at my face, had “hit me upside my head” and looked me dead in the eye demanding my fullest attention. Have I been squandering away my life?
‘Infinite Mercy’ May Set my Teacher Free
My son’s favorite teacher killed herself.
She was depressed, they said, when she took the life of her three-year-old son. Then . . . she committed suicide, leaving a note for her husband and the child’s father.
Meditation Aimed at All PTSD Veterans
I’m off to the Omega Institute where I will take part in a workshop on PTSD for Veterans while also exposing myself to meditation techniques that will open me more to the “untrodden path.”
Tibetan Book Winds its Way Thru My Life
I got a chill when I saw the word “Tibet” today because it took me back to the late 1960s when I was a newly minted second lieutenant trying to make his way in the US Army. The words that impressed me then, however, had nothing to do with the military. It had everything to do with life. Nearly 40 years later, I see that the “Tibetan Book of the Dead” called out to me, though I may not have known it then. Continue reading
When Is Using God’s Name Blasphemy?
God damn it. I forgot the lead I wanted to write here.
It was on the tip of my tongue (pen, key board key, etc.), and Christ, I lost it.
Continue readingWhen Your Helping Just Isn’t Enough
I offered to help some people today whose car had broken down.
Also learned that offering a helping hand sometimes is not enough.
Music (mantra) melts the mind madness
When I want to (need to?) quiet the chatter inside of me, I play a little music in my head — sort of like a mantra — that becomes a lullaby for the Mind.
Release Me; I Swear I’ll Never Sin Again
Hey. Please get me out of here.
How the hell did I end up here, this empty place where no one can see me, touch me, or, more importantly, hear me?
Why am I locked up, away from the world outside this jar-like existence. Who did I piss off? What was my grievous sin?
Identity Loss Leads to New Outlook on Life
I lost my wallet.
And found a new freedom that only the loss of identity could possibly grant me.
Continue readingGoodbye Love; I’m Off to Find the Wizard
I must go.
And so, I simply say Goodbye.
Can aspiring to be “God-like” be heresy?
I felt so inspired by Robert Terrell’s guest column for Confessions of a Mystic that I penned a response that asks if we can ever become “God like” in our daily lives:
* * * * * * * * *
* On reading Robert’s excellent article, I was reminded of a philosophy espoused by a fellow named Sartre, in a play called “No Exit.” It dealt with life after death and how a man living with two women in one room viewed existence. “Hell. . . ,” the man said. ” . . .is . . . other . . . people . . .“
Continue reading
— Who’s to Blame For War After War? —
I Blame God for War.
I blame the Most Powerful Force in the Universe for not using its Almighty Abilities to stop war dead in its tracks.
“I may be a descendant of someone’s slave”
Discussing the History of Nat Turner
“Ever Hear of Nat Turner?” Sheriff Joe Wilkens asked me.
“Sure,” I said. “He’s a famous black man who led a slave uprising before the Civil War.”
— Some Wounds May Never Ever Heal —
The Vietnam War changed Joe.
It stripped him of all interest in leading people in any official capacity.
Forever.
— Why Must This Path Purt So Much? —
Pain: What Good Is It?
Sometimes, it works. But sometimes it tears into my psyche, bringing with it a fear that this discomfort, this thorn will continue to haunt me, raising its head more and more as I feel the aging process more keenly and with it, an unwanted sense of my mortality, my deterioration and the inevitable end that I will someday meet. When the pain increases and I can’t steer my mind away from it, I know deep inside that the end is not so very far away!
“Thank you” for letting me serve, somehow
- Ever get more out of doing something nice for someone than that person ever expected you could possibly get?
Potluck heads bucket list of things to do
Lighting Up With Something New in Life
My favorite store greeter told me she wanted to smoke grass before turning 60.
Why not study art, writing, or some other esoteric topic? I asked.
No, she said, “I have never smoked marijuana before.”
Banner bird brightens boy’s breakfast
A little bird brightened my day today.
The bird recognized me out of more than a hundred people sitting at tables eating breakfast.
“Don’t like this love…(crap)” she told me!
“I don’t like this love shit,” a woman I was about to meditate with whispered to me while in the circle of our six-person meditation “community.”
Veterans find joy in their own backyards
You can’t know how much pleasure there is in feeding a squirrel until you open yourself to the wonders of nature . . . and of course . . . feed a squirrel . . . daily.
Meditative dining offers food for thought
Mindfullness Practice Helps While Eating
Eating sausage in the morning helps me “Be in the Moment.”
I dine at an IKEA store in Conshohocken, PA, the North American headquarters for the Swedish furniture company. It offers a restaurant serving good food for prices that beat the costs of diners and even fast-food places. (99 cents for scrambled eggs, home fries, and a choice of bacon or sausage. Coffee is free from 9:30 to 10 a.m. with refills.
Dream reveals a key to unlocking Paradise
I dreamed I wore a dress to a training class for new lawyers learning to defend criminal defendants. No one noticed my garb. None of the other attorneys said anything, and I never felt “different” or out of place as a brand-new public defender awaiting to argue his first case in Court.
But when I left the room and took a break, a supervisor removed the dress as he and others tried to run off with what they said was “inappropriate” clothing for a man’s courtroom appearance.
Serving others helps to serve you as well
The purpose of Life is to know, love, and serve the Creator.
But how do you serve an All-Giving Entity?
I believe that “to Serve the Creator is to Serve Humanity”
What’s Love Got To Do with My PTSD?
Love can Help You Deal with PTSD
What’s Love got to do with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)?
The feelings they generate stem from that same Core within, at least, the same Core within me.
Angels Appear as Earthly Messengers
It’s just like heaven . . . Being here with you . . . You’re like an Angel . . Too good to be true. When You are near me. My heart skips a beat. I can hardly stand on. My own two feet. Because I Love You; I Love You, I Do. ‘Angel Baby’. My ‘Angel Baby’. Oh, Ooh, I Love You, Oh, Ooh, I Do . . . No One Could Love You . . . Like I Do!
— Rosie & the Originals
Angels are Drawn from Dreams & Meditation
Can’t Hurry Him; You just have to Wait!
First Post
No Need to Try and Hurry Love
If I hurry, I know I will miss the moment.
By rushing, I’ll be too invested in the future than in the “now.” I would be forward-looking, not looking at the present.
Contoveros 