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Category Archives: Surrender
Conspiracy of Love to Heal Us All, Now!
‘Five Jaunts’ create a life-long harmony
Spiritual wars should end at a dinner table
Psalm 46: Continue reading
‘None else besides Him,’ ‘none besides me!’
Looking for Self among all the wrong cards
Even on bad days, music can lift me higher
Won’t let go until animal instinct tells me to
Labyrinth opens a hidden maze inside me
See you in a ‘next life’ Sombitch Rooster
(Cont’d from series on a-mean-rooster) Continue reading
Goin’ to farm; pick blueberries barefooted
Cousin Rosemarie Lieb.
You opened my heart to something I closed years ago.
Not ready to look inside. Almost, but not just yet.
Your words touched me with a warmth I haven’t felt in a long time. They caressed me, and I liken it to a mother’s love and pride I couldn’t handle at the family reunion last Saturday.
Explore the stillness found deep within you
I find a Vibrant Life in Stillness.
I “Come Alive” inside, as my body comes to a complete rest and I let the mind follow suit. Sound boring? It’s anything but! And it’s been one of the toughest things I’ve ever attempted.
Couldn’t do it some 30 years ago when I tried to “halt” my active state of mind. Thought I “got through” and tamed the busy monkey once or twice, but it was wishful thinking on my part.
Spirituality’s fun, whether you like it or not!
Something’s wrong. I shouldn’t enjoy this much fun in Life.
Laughing so hard, the five of us had to hush up, quiet down to prevent diners at the other restaurant tables from staring at our ruckus.
What caused all the belly laughs and guffaws? God. Well, let’s say the Spirit of God. How about something ‘Spiritual, but not Religious?’ Would you believe “Mystical?”
Don Quixote battles PTSD in Philly courts
I never felt more like Don Quixote than when I represented a woman charged with a crime.
And while I didn’t want it, I’d feel called to “champion” her, even when it cost me my reputation, my sanity and my very career as a trial attorney.  Continue reading
The Gospel According to Bobby Darin
Wasn’t sure a Gospel Song would fit in with Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs) at a music appreciation meet last week.
Still can’t understand why I chose Bobby Darin, the “Splish Splash” originator, to represent my musical taste. We were encouraged by the hosts, a young couple, to bring music that meant a lot to us, perhaps meditative offerings and/or those pieces that represented a special time in our lives.
‘Divine Madness’ Reaches Out To Me Daily
“Divine Madness.”
When I first saw the term, I thought of Zorba the Greek, played by Anthony Quinn, who embraced the fullness of life through robust emotions and actions. To laugh in the face of hardship and spit in the face of death, enjoying that special moment of life as if it was the last, and to hell with what anyone thinks.
To hell with negative thoughts. Live Life with the smile God meant us to project outwardly as well as within.
Bliss arises in cherishing of another’s woes
Love generates within for no reason at all
I tasted Love before I ever “entered” an Age of Reason.
I had not reached 7, but I remember it as if it was yesterday. I was attending a birthday party for a friend of my brother, John, who is two years older than me. Her name was Carolyn, and the love I felt came from her sister, Regina Gross, who the older kids enjoyed “fixing up” with me, her school classmate.
‘Sound Bath’ Calms & Heals us with Love
I feel a healing begin, as tears form, and I am so grateful to release what’s building inside — something so wonderful it becomes too good to contain.
I wish I were bigger. I’d have a greater capacity to handle the joy that’s flowing to all parts of my body. It’s like a liquid, this healing I feel, almost palpable like an elixir that cures each and every doubt, concern, and thought from one’s past or future.
Love & compassion’s for all God’s creatures
Did not know what a Buddhist sangha could mean to me, until four of us aspiring students focused on a multi-colored insect at lunch, discussed its past and future life-aspects, and showed compassion to a sentient being whom we might have swatted away before gaining our insight on Sunday.
Hopping Trains Fools No One but Myself
I’ll Never Hop a Train Again.
Got dragged and nearly fell beneath a train before finally letting go of a freight car’s metal handholds. Don’t know how far my legs scraped and bumped along the wooden beams and fistfuls of rocks strewn from track to track. Don’t remember how long I lay on the ground, long after the train rolled by, thanking God for letting such a foolish boy like me continue to live.
Blogging creates craving when ‘Net’s down
I’m hooked. Couldn’t go an hour without needing a “fix.” I wonder how many others this phenomena effects? And how dangerous this addiction could be to my health?
I can’t stay away from my Blog. My need to go on the computer is a little frightening. I feel lost without being able to tap into what has become a major part of my life.
Cyberspace
PTSD Creates New ‘Cause and Condition’
Causes and Conditions.
That’s what Life is all about.
Causes and Conditions.
The sooner I realize this,
the easier it will be to
Reach Enlightenment.  Continue reading
Remember to enjoy the ride getting ‘there’
I entered the “Twilight Zone” yesterday.
Drove full of gusto to complete a task before visiting a doctor in the early afternoon. Only to realize by the time I turned onto the major road, I forgot where I was going.
And worse, why!
Time to get back into the swim of life now
Thirty-Six Laps!
The “kid” still got it. Swam 36 laps this afternoon, the first time I’ve exercised in four months.
What? It’s been four months since I been to LA Fitness. Four months since I hit the Olympic-size pool, take in the whirlpool, as well as spend time in the sauna? Actually, spent more than 15 minutes in the sauna to get rid of all the “toxins” people tell me I need to get out of my system.
Mary’s Tears help Battle Flashbacks of War
The only thing that seemed to help Mary was the tears.
The act of crying seemed to “loosen up” and cushion the fear and anxiety that would strike her unexpectantly. Every time she’d hear a siren, she’d feel her chest tighten, her palms sweat, and her heartbeat race. “Twenty minutes” she’d say and look at a watch or a clock. It will all be over in 20 minutes. The world as she knew it would all be over. Destroyed by nuclear war.
A soldier bows in salute to heartfelt words
50 chews per bite is goal, not meals’ end!
The outcome doesn’t matter
Loving, Longing, Yearning for My Beloved
When will I see my Beloved? To feel arms surround me, a touch to comfort me, the warmth of an embrace to shelter me from any harm man can devise against another.
I seek protection in those arms. The reward You bestow for simply living, for being alive in the moment when my Love ripens and blossoms, nurtured like a flower by Your sun during the day, and Your cool breeze to help petals close at night.
Take a risk; a new you may emerge from it!
A card turned over as I accidentally moved my hand to uncover four other small cards randomly picked from a tray on the carpeted floor. Sitting in the Lotus position with a legless “cloth” chair to support my back, I leaned over to read the card.
“Risk” is all that it said. There was a tiny picture of an angel that somehow reminded me of pre-teen girls who just gave up playing with dolls and turned to thoughts of Celestial Beings. Not the Old Testament God Almighty with Fire and Brimstone, but the soft, gentle “Angels” that serve as guardians.
Remembering the Greatest Time of my Life
Acupuncture pitches ‘halvies’ to a PTSD Vet
‘Yes’ you can ‘Whirl’ & ‘Close’ to a Jury
Dolphins display love as human escorts
Don’t let Love speed away; but yield slowly
Cont’d from Part I, Dolphins display love as human escorts
my love longs for ever more
Some words, phrases, even entire messages look different through the lens of time. Take this feeling I expressed to a friend half-way around the world about the “yearning” I felt on reading Sufi poems for the first time. It moved me so much that I “penned” my own feelings of life-long “longing” to be with, what the Sufis call, “my Beloved” — the Higher Being that can take the shape of your Most Perfect Loved One, the Divine. Continue reading
Dance with love where ever you find Him
New Worlds open at the turn of a page
Sun shines to make up for snowed in winter
Malachite rocks me & all of my chakras
Oh Lovers: Never, Never Abandon Love
Grass always greener on non-paved side
Sufi Love fondly remembered at a ‘Dhikr’
Live life today in love for death tomorrow
A shower can bless me today, if I but let go
Heaven appears now in Love from within
Tibetan singing bowl aids a goddess & me
‘Letting Go’ Requires Faith and Hope
Cont’d from Seeing is believing in the ‘letting go’ process 1-30-10 Continue reading
Part III, Don’t “Squander Away” Your Life
Originally Cont’d from Don’t squander away your life 12-5-09 Continue reading
Are you the teacher I am yearning for?
God’s Presence Realized at Breakfast Table
Originally Cont’d from Feeling God’s Presence in the Mundane 12-6-09 Continue reading
Schuylkill X-way Miracle paves road to VA
Cont’d from ‘Right’ path never obstructed long, Part II
The Buddha appeared in a dream. He took on the forms of a soldier, a counselor and then a computer printer. How could such an entity take shape in such different apparitions?
It all started as I entered a building. President Barack Obama’s picture beamed on a wall as I walked through a large room, cordoned off by dozens of partitions, creating offices upon offices of civil servants working for me and thousands of other veterans from the United States.
A ‘right’ path may never be obstructed long
Con’td from Rooster helps open path to miraculous day
Oh no! I forgot my ID. Second day in a row I pulled such a stupid stunt. And here I am, braving the snow and cold to drive from Conshohocken, PA, to the Veterans Administration building in Philadelphia.
You may not know how much hell I went through in entering this building a few short months ago. Had to “strip” off my belt, hold up my pants, and lower my dignity to get through the metal detector. (See Terrorists force VA to strip vet of dignity.) And that’s when I had my Veterans’ identification card with a mug shot beaming my most honest smile.
Being ‘in the moment’ beats being ‘on time’
Mc572 – who are you & how can we talk?
EFT raises a son’s job aspects, a dad’s hope
Joy found in everyday ‘Common’ Ground
Part III in totem series (Hawk, tiger & sparrow) Continue reading
Hawk, tiger & sparrow send wake-up call
Part I in the Totem Series Continue reading
“Soma” practice sensually loosens me up
What Type of Personality is Your Type?
Meditation time is right in this moment
Meditation time is right in this moment
Last minute reprieve delays eye execution
‘Letting go’ provides a better ‘vision’ in life
Psychedelic green bursts of light pulse across my eye. It’s like a strobe light flashing over and over, as I “see” a colorful cascade of a lime green pigment appear before me as if it’s penetrating the eyeball itself.
It is! And, it’s called a “laser” procedure that a doctor from Presbyterian Hospital, a division of the University of Pennsylvania Hospital, Philadelphia, PA (USA), is performing on my left eye. Flash after flash of the laser erupts across the eye in lightening-like shapes. Are those the veins of the eye this magical light is brightening as it strikes?
He “lasers” through one hundred and twenty-four “spots” on two different sections of the eye, where they discovered I had a detached retina. I thought I scratched the eye with a contact lens, but was wrong. (See: lens hazard) And there I was yesterday, getting emergency treatment from VA (Veterans Administration) Hospital workers who, I believe, provide the best services in the world to needy veterans.
Okay to Surrender Yourself to Medical Treatments
I sit passively, leaning back with my head comforted by the head-rest of the chair behind me. Strange. But I am at peace. Another doctor — was it the third, fourth or fifth person I spoke to? — had coated the eye with some “numbing” liquid. It spread over the eye and apparently into whatever cavity leading to the nasal section. My breathing is clearer. So are my thoughts.
Rather, the “lack“ of thoughts, as I have totally “surrendered” to these physicians, placing the outcome not only in their hands, but those of the Fates, as my ancient Greek ancestors called that Force in the Universe. “Whatever will be, will be,” Doris Day sings in my ear. It’s easy to accept something when you have absolutely no control over that something.
I pondered this as I drove earlier from one hospital to another, wondering if I would lose sight in my eye after seeing an eye doctor at Coatesville (PA) Medical Center. He called Philadelphia to set up this emergency “drill.” What’s the worst scenario, Michael? You’ll be blind in one eye, and won’t be able to see out of the other, unless you wear a contact lens. Otherwise, the world will be a blur, an unfocused, hazy collection of unfeeling objects. Kinda like some people I know who go through life never seeking help or understanding from one another.
Calculating Risks You Take for Improvement
Ok, let’s say I “lost” the eye, I thought. That’ll cut back by 50 percent the amount of money I’d need for contacts lenses. Just buy for one, not two eyes. Won’t have to worry about scratching the glass lens on the left side of my spectacles. Couldn’t see through it anyway. And, it’s not as if I would actually be “losing” the eye, replacing a natural one with an artificial one, I find myself telling a nice and kind female hospital attendant.
You could still see both of my pretty brown eyes as I smiled your way, I added. I could blink, and the eye would respond. I’d be able to look in your direction and you’d see me looking back at you with both of my happy-to-see-you “peepers.”
Don’t forget the eye patch. A cool, black patch stretched over the eye, as I would stare you down with that sinister and menacing look of the pirate, the swashbuckler, the Omar Sharif-type character that is suave and debonair. What a new look! Might lead people to believe my 100 percent disability rating with the VA was due to the loss of the eye while in combat, and not my hearing loss and/or the PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) “gain.”
Can Eye Drops Help You Reach a Higher State?
The drops placed on my eye immediately preceding the laser incisions seemed to spread over my whole being, bringing a calm I generally only experience while in “deep” meditation. “Doctor Will,” I address the surgeon, Daniel Will, by name. “Do the eye drops make a person feel like they’ve reached Nirvana?”
“That’s a new one,” he responds with a laugh. He mentions something about “bottling” it if the stuff really caused such an effect. I “feel” him smile at my remark. And I smile. I now know that no drug is causing me to face this medical “operation” with such an evenly peaceful acceptance on my part.
Must be the advice someone suggested I follow, and that is, to apply the self-administrated procedure of “letting go,” day after day.
It will help to improve anyone’s vision.
Highly sensitive people get highest grade
Nirvana provides escape from all assaults
How you can smile in the face of Death
Second Opinions Sought for My Salvation
Warmth flows to side where heart’s needed
Dalai Lama Fulfills My Holiday Wish List
Please See original Story My Xmas Wish List to the Dalai Lama Continue reading
Bartlows’ dinner drives away all the blues
Home visit will provide internal answers
Be Humble; Let Love Grow Inside Your Self
A Flower Blooms then Rests in the Buddha
My Xmas Wish List to the Dalai Llama
Think Buddha ever signed new members?
Life’s Journey leads me to a Tea Ceremony
Meditation lets my energy flow from within
On road to Peace, I found some “Bhuddies”
For the first time in my life I attended a Buddhist gathering knowing that I wanted to learn more about meditation and the teachings about compassion and loving kindness.
I entered the room and was instructed to remove my shoes which were placed in a small hallway. I then walked into the center with my hands closed in a prayer and my eyes wide open for whatever I could behold.
Then, I fell to my knees, slowly crawled along a mat, and “scrunched” my bottom onto a firm, six-inch pillow. Tucked my legs beneath my raised body and closed my eyes, ready for this Service.
They started chanting. About 25 other souls who appeared here after braving a rainy Sunday morning, were speaking a foreign language in this, the Chenrezig Tibetan Buddhist Center of Philadelphia. An Asian man wearing a brown “monk’s” robe led the Prayer Service. He sat in the Lotus position on a platform some 10-to-12 inches above a white painted wooded floor. He smiled often. And spoke the Tibetan language as well as English, someone told me later.
About ten people sat in chairs, possibly to prevent any stress to bad backs. The rest of us sat on the comfortable pillows that rested above red, padded mats measuring some 2-by-3 feet. Candles were lighted toward the front of the center. There was a slight smell of incense; I was told that someone had lit, but then extinguished a stick, because another suffered from allergy to the scent.
Each of us were provided a red-covered “prayer” book, containing some 50 pages of various prayers and chants in both English and possibly Sanskrit and/or Tibet. Pictures of Buddhist deities as well as one of the Dalai Llama headed some pages. A larger picture of the Dalai Llama rested in what I called a “guru-like” posture behind the Philadelphian spiritual guide.
Somebody mentioned how fortunate “we” were because the spiritual leader, Losang Samten, planned to perform a “tea ceremony.” Great, I thought. I heard of this in my earlier practice with mindfulness meditation the past year, but never witnessed or took part in one. Fellow practitioners were “once-a-week meditators” and seemed to simply “tolerate” the Dharma presentations our Zen teacher mixed in with “body scans,” “sitting” sessions, and the occasional “walking meditations.”
How did I — a red-blooded U.S. veteran, one awarded a bronze star for fighting for flag, mom’s apple pie and everything American — end up bowing to a bunch of Buddhists? What beckoned me to mingle with fellow Philadelphians who not only helped support a spiritual leader to guide them toward “Enlightenment,” but to teach of a spiritual movement created twenty-five hundred years ago by a prince who exchanged riches for the life of a beggar in trying to end mankind’s suffering?
Synchronicity. Stuff like this happens, according to the psychologist, Dr. Carl Jung. And, coincidence has nothing to do with it. I planned to have lunch at a “Spaghetti Warehouse” with my first and only gathering of a “Meet Up” Group up the street from the Buddhist center. We were to “tour” or simply “attend” the Buddhist service and then discuss the activity over food and possibly a drink.
I never made it for spaghetti. Never got a chance to formally introduce myself to the “Meet Up” people. I simply stayed for the Buddhist semi-annual meeting with the permission of one of the group’s officers who allowed me, a non-member, First Generation Greek-American, to see the “behind-the-scenes” goings-on of full-fledged Buddhist followers.
I quickly learned they were no more different from you and I.
Please see Part II, –Meditation lets my energy flow
Who’s Calling Me This Time? Oh, it’s YOU!
Light shines from a trunk labeled ‘patience’
Falcon Reveals World of Mystery & Hope
Listen: “Beloved” Calls to You and Me
Feeling God’s Presence in this Moment
The right brain activates love & awareness
Pranic Healing Begets Mighty Meta Care
Love’s ‘First Kiss’ Lasts . . . For Ever More
Meditation prevents brush with the law
Child wins game, plays Sounds from within
Needn’t kill your Self to be like Buddha
Jew, Christian and Muslim Sheik Agree
A small miracle is happening right before our eyes if we only open our hearts to see.
A minister, a rabbi and a Muslim sheik put their differences on the line and walked away clearing an unobstructed path to God.
They met together and spoke of the greatest aspects of their respective faiths, as well as what they believed were the most divisive.
What they most valued as the core teachings of their tradition:
the minister “unconditional love.”
the sheik “compassion.”
the rabbi “oneness.”
What they regarded as the “untruths” in their own faith:
the minister: “Christianity is the only Way to God.”
the rabbi: the notion of Jews as “the Chosen People.”
the sheik: the “sword verses” in the Koran, like “Kill the Unbeliever.”
Now, I’m simply using my poetic license here. About that “Unobstructed Path to God,” that is. But read this story submitted by Dustin.
It is from a newspaper article of the “three amigos” who may, one can only hope, help to unite all again. (See if you don’t agree!)
(Press here for the great story of friendship)
In the end, “being child-like” curbs aging
November 22, a day like no other USA day
My 10th-grade mathematics teacher whispers the horrible news: “Somebody shot the president.”
Panic starts, spreading quickly through the classroom. Everyone is talking, particularly those who only hear part of the news.
Someone asks her, my favorite teacher, to repeat what was overheard. “The President has just been shot,” she says. Her face is now ashen white.
“But, I didn’t ‘intend’ for that to happen!”
Life Lessons Seen In Window Watching
Window gazing can often answer some of Life’s Questions.
I look outside, see nature moving, and learn lessons about how to enjoy living in a matter of a few seconds. Let me show you what I digested just now:
Continue reading
Back Repairs Sought to Bolster Life of Back
I “intend” to repair my back.
Not “cure” it. Not “fix” it.
Just get it back into working order. No more pains while getting out of bed or putting one leg after another into a pair of pants. That’s all. Make the back serviceable again.
Finally, Light Shines on My Mutiny Quash
I lied to my platoon to prevent a mutiny from bursting to a head some 40 years ago.
Today, I granted myself forgiveness. I cleansed a wound that never seemed to heal until now.
I served as a First Lieutenant in Vietnam and was relieved of my command of an infantry platoon just two hours before getting orders to appear at a helicopter base port. Taken by surprise, I met the battalion commander, who asked me to help avoid a military “disaster” from developing any further. My platoon of some 25 soldiers, grunts, as we liked being called, had refused to board the ships that would fly them into the “field” to patrol and engage the enemy. Most of the men sat on the heliport, reclining on their backpacks, disobeying all orders to climb aboard.
A day earlier, several members of the second squad were medivaced to a hospital after being ambushed by the Viet Cong. I had assigned a sergeant with some 10 years of experience to lead the squad. Unfortunately, he was “new in-country” and may not have had time to become acclimatized to the situation. In other words, he didn’t know what he was supposed to do in a war zone yet.
Our superior officer blamed me, the man in charge, and for the second time in my young military career, I found myself removed from my command. I was devastated the first time, and I view that period as the lowest moment of my life. I felt lower than dirt and less useful than the ground below. At least dirt could be used to grow things and offer a structure to build on, I believed then.
This time, however, my being sacked hurt far less. I knew I had done everything to ensure the well-being of my platoon, and instill in each member an esprit de corps that carried over into their individual lives. They learned to live for each other, to work as a unit, to place the needs of the platoon over their own.
It came as no shock when I heard they refused to go to the field! It was a mutiny, pure and simple. They protested what they believed was an outrageous act committed against them: the removal of their leader, Lieutenant Michael J Contos, yours truly.
(See Part 2 My Mutiny Quash)
Finally, Light Shines on My Mutiny Quash
I lied to my platoon to prevent a Mutiny from bursting to a head some 40 years ago.
Today, I granted myself forgiveness. I cleansed a wound that never seemed to heal until now.
Healing Technique Sparks Family Fall Out
“Unclean spirits!” The words hit me like a ton of bricks. Across my face.
Besides being rejected, I felt lightning had just stuck the ground beneath me. I detected fear and the raising of a drawbridge that would block out all light, no matter where the Source originated.
Thanks for a Path that Preserved my Life
Ever wonder what life would have been like if you made different choices years earlier?
I was 19 when I felt “separated” from most of the people I hung out with and called friends. I wanted to be so much like them; not to care about such things as “love,” “compassion,” other people’s “feelings.” That was “sissy” stuff; stuff that only a “wuss” would think about. I saw these aspects of myself as a “weakness.“