Blogging old posts can be historic & fun

I began a major endeavor this month to re-edit all of the Blog posts that I had written over the years, and it has re-opened many of the hopes and dreams that I once shared while writing and sharing messages at Contoveros.Wordpress.com.

It all started with a dream I had about Socrates and Plato which connected with my “active imagination” that the eminent psychologist Carl G. Yung had wrote about in hisPsychology of the Unconscious.

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Grandkids add fun & lotsa joy to all

What a joy grandkids provide us, particularly when they share their daily lives with you as a family. I’m talking about my 6-year-old grandchild, Denalia, and my rambunctious 8-year-old grandson, Jameson Contos.

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Aging process is now slowing me down

SLOW DOWN!

I believe that is what the Universe is telling me as I have gotten older and time has caught up with this aging body that – for the life of me – can’t physically handle everyday chores and activities I routinely completed some six months ago.

Slow down. Yes, you are getting tired when you ascend the steps to get into your Conshohocken home and then many more steps to get to your second-floor bathroom and/or main bedroom. So, take a break. You have nothing to prove or to “carry-on” as us veterans used to say while serving in the military.

——————–

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Need for America’s Global Unity is now

I will be participating this Sunday in a gathering sponsored by a group presenting a woman I have followed for more than 10 years on a spiritual journey. Lorna Byrne is a woman from Ireland who has been seeing and speaking with angels since she was two years old and written several books on how we can open ourselves to the angelic realm that exists for our benefit.

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Seniors are opening to meditation now!

 I never thought that words I wrote on a slip of paper and dropped into a suggestion box would somehow enlighten me.!
The senior center I’ve attended for the past two years has agreed to hire a teacher, or what I would call a “guru,“ to show seniors how to meditate at the Upper Merion Senior Citizen Center.

Five or six people had signed up for further information at the facility and a librarian from the local library who teaches meditation has contacted someone to come to the center near King of Prussia, PA, and guide us. It will start on the third Wednesday of September, according to the Center’s president who arranged it all.

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Charlie Chaplin gets laughs from all kids

   I got a kick out of introducing my grandson to one of the most enduring and well-liked comedians of all time.
   Six-year-old Jameson came out swinging at the television characters in my master bedroom after I called him from adjoining room and watched him view an outragiously funny scene from one of my all-time favorite Charlie Chaplin movies “City Lights.
   Chaplin, also known in silent motion pictures as  the “Tramp,” fell in love with a blind girl who sold him flowers and wanted to get money to help her. He ends up in a boxing ring where he dodges one blow after another by hiding and running behind the much larger referee who blocked his opponent from landing any punches.
    It is hilarious to see both fighters box each other around and then get “saved by the bell” before one of them is eventually knocked down in the old-time boxing ring and cannot get up by the count of 10. Jameson wanted the bell to ring each time he swung with what I considered to be a roundhouse punch with both arms flaring and a bright little smile arising out of the corner of his mouth.

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Good things happen when you open to ’em

They say that “bad things happen in threes.” But I’m here to tell you that good things can happen in threes if you but open yourself to ’em.

Take today for example. I stopped at Lowe’s to get some of my walking steps in and felt proud to have parked in the spot designated with a sign that said “Veterans Parking.” I figured I might as well get some bird seed to feed my fine feathered friends who accumulate near the statues of both the standing St. Francis of Assissi and the seated Buddha.

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Songs with numbers in them awaken me!

A Trivia game I played with senior citizens recently focused on musical songs that contained numbers in their titles. The experience stayed with me and later woke me at 3 am while I laid in bed unable to dismiss the songs not mentioned some 12 to 13 hours earlier at the Upper Merion Senior Service Center in King of Prussia, PA.

The songs we played includedOne, Two Three” by Len Barry, “Sixteen Tons” by Tennessee Ernie Ford, “Nine to Five” by Dolly Parton, “One is the Loneliest Number” by Three Dog Night, “December ‘63 (Oh What a Night” by the Four Seasons, and “When I’m 64” and “Eight Days a Week” by the Beatles. I began to add more songs in my awakened state of mind and knew I’d get no further sleep until I get the songs out of my system and onto paper.

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Excellent Treatment at Philly VA Hospital

I am about to get one of those RSV shots at the VA Hospital of Philadelphia to prevent any lung infection, and I wanted to share my enthusiasm for all the work the Veterans Administration has provided me with most of my adult life.

It started a month after exiting the Vietnam War alive and receiving a GI Bill stipend to become a “first-generation” college student, and a few years later, to buy my first home. But it wasn’t until I got caregiver burnout in 2008 while taking care of my wife, who suffered a traumatic brain injury from a fall, as well as a “PTSD-suffering uprising” from my combat experience, that I first got life support help from a VA hospital.

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Heartline & Intuition studies completed

It has taken me three years to complete one study and a mere two years to finish the other, but I believe I have contributed to the scientific understanding of reseasrchers for possible heart ailments and changes in thinking and memory for adults.

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My writing device driven home in a flash

Flash!

I got my drive back . . .

My Flash Drive that is.

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‘Don’t mess around with Synchronicity’

I was thinking about a story I once wrote for a newspaper about the Philadelhia-born singer Jim Croce and I discovered so many stepping stones that guided me from one career choice to another with an almost mystical maneuvering.

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So grateful for feeling fewer body pains

While just starting to meditate, I could not get rid of thinking about the pains I was feeling in my body.

I had a major operation in May and am still suffering some aftereffects, including pain in my left side where a 12-inch incision was made to operate on an aneurysm. I was in the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania for six days.

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Ban Fox News lies from our military bases

Fox News should be curtailed on all military bases and facilities to prevent men and women in uniform to be lied to about stories and events shaping our nation, particularly the political world around us.

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Acupuncture offered to help veterans

I’m getting therapy once again for my well-being!

Physical therapy, that is. Although I could probably use a little for my mental well-being. (Just kidding.)

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Vietnam War peace accord 50 years old!

This month marks the 50th anniversary of when the Vietnam War finally ended. A Peace Accord was reached on January 27, 1973, making way for the complete removal of all troops by March 29th of the same year.

Many of us remember the chaotic pictures of persons trying to flee Saigon on the last day reminding me of the chaos that erupted when the United States ended The Afghanistan War on August 2021. The Vietnam War was America’s longest war ever until Afghanistan overtook it. Both wars became highly unpopular and some believe that politics had a lot to do with both battlefronts.

Fifty years ago the Vietnam War finally ended, but for many like myself, it feels like it was only yesterday.

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‘So It Goes’ for Kurt Vonnegut Jr, anti-war veteran author, and former POW

One of my all-time favorite authors – a veteran who was a POW and a staunch anti-war advocate – would have celebrated his 100th birthday this month.

Kurt Vonnegut Jr., who turned me on to science fiction mixed with auto-biographical recalls, was born on Veterans Day in 1921, just three years after Armistice Day, which was the original veterans’ day. It commemorated the end of the European war “Over There” and was called “the war to end all wars.”

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Dance recall ain’t all that easy nowadays

For the life of me, I cannot remember the first time I ever danced. You know, get out on the floor of somebody’s home, a schoolroom, or even a dance floor and move around to music or some make-believe dance sound. My mind simply can’t dig up that moment that should be among my most precious memories. Continue reading

A photo gift for a GI & a swimsuit recovery!

What do a missing swimsuit and a 50-year-old photo of a newly-minted lieutenant have in common?

Both got lost and then recovered on a friendly trip to the library and the treasured gift of hoping for an uplifting outcome.

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A Brewerytown Kid Grows Up – Reviewed!

           Perfectly, Unadulteratedly Human

The authentic human voice is a thing many writers strive to capture. Few can claim to have succeeded. Contos, however, very much has earned that badge of honor. The text is home to an authentic and powerful narration that still, in its honest humanity, grounds itself in the humble approach to one man’s life and what that life means.

I don’t often cry over books. It’s not that I can’t, it’s just something that very rarely happens.

I cried reading about the Kid of Brewerytown.

Take that as you will.

Katherine D. 5.0 out of 5 stars

– Jan 22, 2022

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Veterans Day Tribute from Conshohocken!

 I have been honored this Veterans Day through a recorded interview about my book on the Vietnam War for a program called “Good Morning Conshy,” where I share the broadcast with two companion pet managers for what is known as PACT. Many of the animals had assisted veterans who could no longer care for their pets and needed help for animals they viewed as their children.

     We all had contacts with Conshohocken, a small borough just outside of Philadelphia, and learned that the interview would be recorded and made available on YouTube. Watching it, I noticed how white-faced I look after recovering from a stomach illness. I am glad I wore my “boonie hat” that I had saved from the Vietnam War. It shows one silver bar that was subdued to prevent the enemy from spotting an officer. I wore it only once before, and that was at Omega Institute at a five-day meditation retreat for veterans with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).

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Vietnam War Book Review a 4-Stars Rate!

Review of Vietnam War Recall authored by Michael J Contos at Contoveros.wordpress.com

Post by Kansas City Teacher 

[Following is an official OnlineBookClub.org review of “Vietnam War Recall

     Like many other young men of the time, author Michael Contos found himself in the military, headed to a turbulent region of the world to protect democracy. After completing Officer Candidate School, Michael was deployed to Vietnam to lead a platoon of infantrymen on missions while evading the formidable Viet Cong forces. Here, he describes the worst day of his life that led to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), a debilitating condition that would threaten to consume his life and linger for decades; a day so jarring that he would not talk about it, even with his family.

     Upon returning home, his experiences in combat haunt him, so he seeks the help of spiritual leaders to relieve the symptoms of PTSD. The story is told in the first person through flashbacks, introspection, and excerpts from the author’s blog. Through the narration, readers get a glimpse into the personal turmoil that many of our veterans face after combat.

———–
     The best part of this book is the intimate and emotional description of PTSD; a young leader, not afforded time to grieve or debrief from his experiences, lives with the nightmares, flashbacks, and anxiety that seem to permeate every facet of his life. These intense feelings are captured clearly by the author.

     I also love the way the daily humdrum of military life is portrayed, and the descriptions sure bring back memories for this veteran. The cadences, the euphoric feeling when you realize your parachute is perfect, and the anticipation of the return to the United States (DEROS) are very real indeed! A little humor, typical of military camaraderie, is also peppered into the pages of the story; I had to chuckle when I read about some familiar but important advice: never crap alone in the field!

     Although the messages are powerful, the book does seem a bit repetitive at times. Other than this, there is nothing negative to say about the story; its purpose and voice are truly a gift to an audience who does not truly understand the realities of war and its crippling effects on our young servicemen, not only the ones who gave their lives but also those who returned bearing unseen scars.

———–

     I happily give Vietnam Recall: The Best and Worst Days of My Life a count of 4 out of 4 stars for these reasons. The book appears professionally edited and is divided into chapters of appropriate length.

     I particularly recommend this book to readers who love historical accounts of war and those who seek insight from a primary source about mental illness. Those with family members in the military will appreciate the insightful glimpse into the psyche of those who have chosen to defend our way of life. There is some moderate profanity, along with explicit descriptions of trauma and wartime peril; those sensitive to these topics may not want to read the book.

     For all others, the book is a penetrating account of one man’s journey towards healing and peace. All who read this story will undoubtedly be moved by the author’s gripping words as he relives the most difficult moments of his life. He speaks for the countless others who remain silent.

******
Vietnam War Recall
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon

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My Vietnam War book is finally published!

It took me more than 50 years, but I finally published my Vietnam War story and the toll it took on me after leading a combat infantry platoon when I was just a 21-year-old first lieutenant in the US Army.

I self-published with the help of editors who wrote the back cover description. They used a mug shot I had taken some ten years ago while attending a PTSD meditation clinic at Omega Institute for veterans and their families. The clinic introduced me to different forms of meditation that allowed me to eventually deal with the trauma and view the war experience in a more benign and compassionate light.

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St. Michael the Archangel honored today!

September 29th is Michaelmas Day, the Feast of Saint Michael the Archangel, when everyone with the moniker of Michael will feel the roots extending from our favorite saint. Continue reading

Only one bigamist per family, thank you!

“My grandfather lied to my grandmother. I guess it runs in the family. *

But I never got married while I still had a family. That’s what I’m talking about. He lied about being married at the time he married the only grandmother I ever knew Continue reading

Touch at least one heart with Meet-Up now

If you could go back in time to attend a Meet-Up in Jerusalem with the famous rabbi from Nazareth to share some bread, wine and good conversation, would you sign up and go?

How about traveling back some 2,600 years to give a listen to the Four Noble Truths in northern India by a fellow who some claim had reached enlightenment? Would you agree to meet weekly to discuss life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness? Continue reading

Suffering from the news eases up today

Cut back, Michael J. Simply cut back like the sandlot football running back you played as a kid while scampering on a field in Philadelphia’s Fairmount Park.

You can’t go “cold turkey” on a lifestyle you’ve been living for more than 30 years. But you can choose to limit the amount of news you take in on a daily or even an hourly basis.  Continue reading

Coke and a Smile Now Watered Way Down

I love Coca-Cola. It has been my favorite drink since I don’t remember when. I guess it all started with the small green bottles that you had to use an honest-to-goodness bottle opener to crack open. Continue reading

Emergency hits home; order soon restored

My second wife stopped breathing shortly after they placed her in the emergency vehicle en route to a hospital some eight years ago. The day was six-months to date of her first bout with an emergency wagon when she fell in our Conshohocken, PA, home, suffering a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI).

She remained in a coma for more than five days. This time, however, they were more certain that she would not recover from her latest, unplanned date with Miss Fate. A nurse or a social worker at the Hospital suggested I contact a priest to say the last rites for Wendy. Continue reading

‘Love & Rockets’ explode near this veteran

My son, Nicholas, just didn’t seem to understand how much pain I suffered in Sutcliffe Park when I took him to see fireworks on clear and starry night sky on the Fourth of July some years ago.

At first, I enjoyed the rockets zooming into the air. They were colorful red, white, and blue explosions that took your breath away with gasps of wonder and awe.

Soon, however, they took on a menacing demeanor, as each blast began to remind me of the Vietnam War and the rounds of mortar fire that fell on me and my platoon some 30 years earlier.  Continue reading

Dissolving Pain through seeing differently

I’ve opened my mind to a new way of seeing and I am free as long as I can keep my peripheral vision on anything but the object of my focus.

What I do is distract myself from looking at the car in front of me when I’m cruising on the highway. I set my gaze off in the distance, where I take in the beautiful blue skies interrupted now and again by a while cloud.  Continue reading

Dobbins Reunion manifests HS aging story

As soon as I turned 18 and got a draft card, I rushed to my printing shop at Dobbins Technical Institute (aka Dobbins High School) and commenced to committing a federal offense punishable by up to 10 years in prison.

I didn’t know it was against the law, a federal law at that, but I guess I should have known you can’t change the date of birth on your Selective Service card to show you’re 21 years old rather than 18. Hey, it was the best way of getting served in every Philadelphia bar in 1966.  Continue reading

Trusting the Universe when ‘lost & found’

I lost the damn wallet again.

It was the second time in about a week it turned up missing. The first time was in Korea, and I never detected its loss. The Reverend Lee, the WON Buddhist minister leading a pilgrimage in Korea last week, had approached me with a black object in her hand. She looked worried, and I couldn’t figure out what caused her distress.  Continue reading

Chanting can cure what ails your busy mind

Namuamitabul” is a Korean Buddhist chant that means “The Buddha of infinite light, infinite life, and infinite wisdom.”

This chant is recited numerous times by participants in a WON Buddhist meditation as part of a routine that involves chanting, sitting meditation, and walking meditation.  Continue reading

First learn the ‘Way’ before leading others

Pride cometh before the fall.

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USA could learn from South Korean friends

Korea opened me to another world in the Far East, and I can’t understand why the United States of America has not adopted some of the more useful and expeditious activities here.  Continue reading

Aging is hurting me and my writing skills

Getting old is a real pain in the ass.

It’s a pain in the hip, the shoulder and the lower part of my back, to tell you the truth.

I recently learned that I have arthritis. It’s killing me. Continue reading

Create a life of magical renewal with Love

If I had a magic wand, I would wave it and remove all of the hate in our land. It would take away the hurt all felt throughout the ages of man from the beginning of time, when Cain killed his brother, and when a stupid Esau sold his birthright to his brother Jacob for a lousy bowl of soup.  Continue reading

Calm the wandering mind & feel happiness

A wandering mind is an unhappy mind.

Don’t take my word for it. Scientific research has discovered that the active conditions of anxiety and agitation cause unhappiness. Becoming quiet and stilling the mind lowers blood pressure and relieves the stress that’s produced in our busy lives.  Continue reading

Journey into self opens possibilities for me

  • I manifested as an African American riding a horse as a cowboy in the old American West.
  • Next, I felt the chains on my legs as I rowed in a galley ship as a Greek slave in a land governed by the Romans in some year BC.
  • Sand. Lots of sand with its rich mixture of roughness and tan properties became my next existence.
  • That was followed by my essence being made up as a piece of glass. A clear glass with a tint of green like the old-fashioned Coca Cola bottles.
  • Finally, I envisioned myself turning into a Soldier of Love with healing powers I never knew existed.  Continue reading

Best sleep in years follows head treatment

I got the best sleep I’ve had in years last night and I owe it all to the treatments I have received for not only what ails me, but what has been blocking my lower brain from connecting with my upper brain.

I slept like a proverbial baby, having gotten up only once during the night — around 4:30 am — to relieve the bladder and be kind to my prostate. Going back to bed, I drifted right back to sleep and enjoyed a complete dream of the old neighborhood and my days in a lawyer’s office, both in Philadelphia.  Continue reading

Nothing has helped my back pains now

I felt nothing this morning.

For the past five days, nothing greeted me when I got out of bed.

There was no ache, no pain, no reminder of how bad my back has become after so many years of walking, running and standing on this earth. Not to mention, jumping out of an airplane five times, landing badly on my first parachute jump, and hiding it from the military instructor who would have kicked me out of jump school had he suspected I injured myself.  Continue reading

Home where I grew up still haunts my mind

I grew up in a two-story row house in North Philadelphia in a mixed neighborhood where we played in front of the fireplug and got ice from old ice trucks that made their way up the tiny one-way street. Continue reading

Favorite Color Sings Out the ‘Oldies’ to Me

Blue has been my favorite color since I don’t know when. I guess my parents influenced my choice when I was young. I mean, I was a boy. And I was born in in the land of the red, white, and blue. Continue reading

Universe conspiring to guide us all

When will I ever learn to trust the Universe?

When will I develop enough faith to believe things happen for my well-being? And when can I truly trust my instincts and live more peacefully in tune with what the Cosmos is manifesting just for me ? Continue reading

The Ice Man Cometh for Me and for Thee

It was the ice on the truck that beckoned to me when I was six years old and playing on the one-way street near my home in North Philadelphia. Continue reading

Inner Being is Winter Solstice Dream

“Inner Being” is a State of Mind

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How did we choose the journey we’re on?

I would love to write a book about how people came to the current journey they’re on.

You see, I have this tendency of going up to people and asking them how they came to be where they are; that is, spiritually, if you know what I mean.

For instance, I quiz them at my Buddhist Center, at a Center for Contemporary Mysticism, or at some New Age event where everyone seems to be seeking some sort of healing.

I have found that many of us have had to hit “rock bottom” before we surrendered to a force that was far above us. It is only then that we’ve turned to a Higher Course, a Higher Road.

Little did I know that the Higher Force exists within each of us. It is our Higher Self. It’s the wisdom that we were born with that we finally got to tap into.

There are some people, like me, however, who have been touched before such an “awakening.” I remember when I was an altar boy at age 12 and how I was praying for the affections of a girl I had met the night before. I was in the sacristy of a Roman Catholic Church.

I prayed that Geraldine McFadden would like me. Before weeping like a lonely teenager, I felt the presence of something Divine. I felt what I now perceive to be the Presence of God. Nothing else mattered. I had no cares, no worries, and all was calm and peaceful with or without the girl’s fondness.

—————–

While talking to a friend at a Buddhist gathering the other day. I explained how Buddhism had called out to me some 40 years earlier.

I read the Tibetan Book of the Dead, understanding maybe 5 percent of what was explained.

Did we choose the journey or did the journey choose us?

I put it away, went to war and did not think about it until 2009 when visiting a center in Philadelphia.

One of my Buddhist student friends, a non-practicing Catholic, told me about the “Golden Books Encyclopedia.” Mary said she had also obtained the Tibetan Book of the Dead but never finished it while in her early 20s.

But what “pulled” her at a much younger age was one of encyclopedia books. She had three older brothers and by the time she got to the books, there were only three left. But one of them was the book for the beginning letter “T“. She remembered opening the encyclopedia and seeing men and women bowing in prayer at a Tibetan Buddhist service. It touched her and left a memorable mark.

——————

Was something or some force in the Universe calling out to her? Was it a foreshadowing of what she’d turn to years later when searching for answers?

I don’t know. But it sure is interesting to learn about these occurrences. I bet we all have similar stories to tell if someone would just listen.

How about you? Would you care to share?

Let me know…

Meditation reflections help heal the worst

Reflections opened a new world of understanding today. Years after a traumatic event, I can look back and see things in a totally different and healing fashion.

I couldn’t do it when the shit was happening. It hurt too much.

Even five or ten years after the trauma, I’d get sweaty palms and a sped-up heartbeat when thinking about the worst day of my life. I couldn’t dwell for too long without having to relive the God-awful experience.  Continue reading

On my knees being grateful every day

I fall to my knees every day and give thanks for at least three things that I am totally grateful for. I usually include my son and at least one of our cats but also acknowledge the advent of a new day as well as a nice new warm bed and the person who invented the heater to keep all of us warm. The cats included!  Continue reading

What I Believe Makes Me Who I Am

Who am I? What do I believe? And can I name a few of my beliefs?

Let me name a few things I believe about myself. They’re in no particular order.  Continue reading

What I believe will enhance my life forever

I believe that all of us are placed on this earth for a purpose, and the aim for us in life is to find out what that purpose is!

We don’t usually seek the answer right away. Most put it off until some calamity forces us to find answers to life’s most important questions. Why am I here? Why am I in this body? Who am I, really?  Continue reading

Taps by my Emotional Freedom Technique

If you haven’t tried it, you ought to Google “EFT” and see if such a technique could help with whatever might ail you today!

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Opening myself through group awareness

I grew when meeting four people on Monday who helped me expand my consciousness in ways I had never known existed before. Someone introduced me to the Fifth Dimension, while another invited me to a New Age exhibition in Bucks County, where light-workers of all shapes and sizes would introduce newbies like me to new and exciting pathways to Nirvana. Continue reading

Recalling some cool summers in the Army

Summer always served as a “new beginning” for me when I was in the US Army. I got drafted on the Third of June and did my basic training in the hot, dry air of Fort Bragg, North Carolina. I can’t tell you how many push-ups I did during the two-month training session, as the meanest drill sergeant I ever saw brought fire to my poor soul by running me everywhere and cussing me out to force me into fighting shape. Continue reading

The ‘Wisdom I was Born With” is in you

   

     When I write, I try to tap into the child within. I try to “feel” something

that I can share with another, be it humorous, educational or shocking.

     I have stories to tell from my past that brought me to this point, and I think they may help others to feel what I feel and to take action, even if that action is simply to refrain from acting or even thinking.

     The child-like essence, I believe, stems from what Psychologist Carl Jung called the “Collective Unconsciousness.”

I call it the “Wisdom I was Born With” but can only be realized when I quiet myself and allow that cute little sonofabitchen kid to strut his stuff. I love him at that time, warts and all.

I think you will too once you get to know him and yourself a little better.

Just go within. Seek silence and you’ll find me within you.

I am you as you are me, and we are altogether!

Open yourself to hear the Universe speak

Listen to what the Universe is saying. It may speak to you in ways you might not understand unless you’re open to all means of communication.  Continue reading

All senses call out to me when meditating

Meditate mind

Closing my eyes, I open all my senses to group meditation!

The smell of lavender and a hint of myrrh greet me as I walk into the meditation room. I had not expected my sense of smell to be the first one to experience such a warm and inviting welcome. I should not have been surprised. The olfactory system is the first sensory organ I usually use, and I’m not too proud to state I am usually led by the nose.  Continue reading

Calling all ‘Spiritual Soldiers of Fortune’

I believe that I have become a “spiritual soldier of fortune” and would travel anywhere my heart beckons me to learn, to pray, and to find answers about the universe.

I got an inkling of this calling when I was a teenager. It came about when I was 18, just out of high school, and experimenting with grass and LSD. Timothy Leary enticed me with his message in the 1960s, advising all to “turn on, tune in, and drop out.” I turned on and tuned into the message but couldn’t afford to drop out because I was from a working-class family that saw work as a way out of poverty and into the middle class. Continue reading

Touched by an Angel to Help Guide Others

      Angels can perform magic if we open ourselves to ’em! Continue reading

Meditation helps the Law of Attraction

“You don’t need to work when you are meditating,” Abraham told a young woman who was called to the stage to question the spirits about issues she was facing on Saturday. She was among some 15 people who shared the “hot seat” at the Renaissance Hotel near Philadelphia’s International Airport for a workshop.

The message resonated with me and I hope everyone of the more than 500 in attendance took it in and will try the 15-minute exercise once a day to see how easier it can be to get in touch with the Source energy within. Continue reading

Abraham Calls Me to the Law of Attraction

I met Abraham up close and personal yesterday, and I learned the universe had called me to study the Law of Attraction as voiced by Esther Hicks, the one who channeled for the spirits guiding us back to the Source within.  Continue reading

Gifts from within that we all might share

Ever wonder what you can do to be more like the person you have always aspired to be? You know, the one you hoped you would grow up to be, but didn’t get the chance because life seemed to hit you upside your head and throw you off course?  Continue reading

Love is the only gift I can bestow on you!

     What gifts can I offer the world today? What insight, wisdom, or thought could I bestow on others seeking the healing we need for our mutual pain and suffering?

     I am no psychic. I’ve never seen an angel or felt the tingling sensation from a spirit wanting to use me to provide a message or a sign. I’m no medium. 

     And yet, I feel that the one gift I have is something that all of us possess once we humble ourselves and seek peace and tranquility inside.

     I offer you Love. A love from the bottom of my heart, from my very being. It’s a love that was implanted in me at the start of this current lifetime. It’s a love the Divine kept hidden until I was ready to see His energy in all things.

843 Free CC0 Love Stock Photos - StockSnap.io

     It is part of the same love that created this world, this universe, this reality.

It is the love that sustains us and will continue to offer blessings to all who are open to its redeeming nature.

     Accept this love. It’s really not mine. You see, it’s on loan. I get to keep but a small portion as I give most of it away. Once you feel and accept this love, I get it all back and then some.

The Gift of “Giving Love and Getting It Back!”

All I need do is still myself and go within with the overriding intent to bestow love on you and all of those you come into contact with, causing a rippling effect to bring happiness to all sentient beings. Please pass on this love and be the channel for it to flow. You’ll get the gift of love back before the day is done.

     Smile and enjoy the feeling of love glowing inside . . .

    Now, give it away and use whatever psychic powers you’ve developed to help bring about a better world, a higher sense of being one with the universe.

(Send any comments to contoveros@gmail.com)

Please take me back my love; I need you so!

I miss you. My God, how I have missed you!

It feels like forever since we’ve been together.

I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I know that it’s my fault. I walked out on you, believing I could get along without you, without your guidance without your help. Without your Love . . .

I was a fool, and I know it now.

You knew it too, but you’re too nice, too loving to ever say “I Told You So.” There have been so many times when I tried to go it alone. I’d find small success and material gains here and there, but I’d always end up failing where it really counted. In my heart, in my dreams, even in my soul.

Realizing How Bad Things Could Be Without You!

     I didn’t know how much I needed someone like you until I hit rock bottom and experienced how miserable life could be without you.

     I became the loneliest man in the world. I was too ashamed to admit I was nothing without you. That you were my reason for living, for breathing, for just Being.” I realize now that I truly am a great big nothing without you.

And you care so much for me that you’ve always been willing to give me another chance at becoming the loving creature that the Universe had created me to be. I want to be more like you, to care more like you, to give more like you . . . to want nothing in return except the wisdom to know that it is in the giving that we receive, it is in the pardoning that we are pardoned, it is in the death to this world that we can truly find life worth living.

Thank you, my Divine One. I hope to be with you as one for now and forever more

 (A Contoveros Post-Valentine’s Day Card)

Do no harm and happiness will flow freely

“First, Do No Harm.”

This quote from the famous Greek of antiquity, Hippocrates, could be the basis for a new Golden Rule for the Road.  Continue reading

State of Our Spiritual Union is Flourishing

True Meaning of Life Flowering Now

     Seeds planted in the 1960s have flowered, and the Age of Aquarius has finally dawned on the world, awakening many of us to a new way of living, a new way of forgiving. The first signs of this new enlightenment began in the 1990s as the Berlin Wall fell, God revealed secrets in the Celestial Prophecy, and the mystical Wisdom of Kabbalah was made known to non-Jews and all women, regardless of age or religious backgrounds. 

     New Age dabblers learned from old age philosophers about the true meaning of life — to Know, Love and Serve God by serving each other.

* * *

JOIN IN. OPEN UP. FEEL FREE!

     We found the divine through our science.

Quantum Physics showed that our world is constantly in flux — that it is totally impermanent — yet cooperating every second with each other “individual” part making us all one whole healthy body.

We are aware now that consciousness connects everything thing in the universe and is in everything in the universe.

    Offer Compassion Through Divine Guidance

It is our duty and our honor now to share that with the rest of humanity. Our goal will be to help them remove the ignorance that nationhood instills in conformity. We will facilitate their “Awakening to the Wisdom they have Within.” Offer all compassion through guidance and a big welcome when they, too, realize that all we need is love. Love is all we ever needed now and forever amen.

Listen to the Voice of a Mystic. His madness may just resonate with the Divine in You!

Who had the biggest impact on your life?

   A Person of Spiritual Growth and Guidance  

     The person who had the biggest impact on my life was my second wife, Wendy Wright Contos. She had a 157 IQ, but never once acted as if she was better than me. She easily got angry at injustices and would, on occasion, lash out against the hypocrisy of politicians, while helping the underprivileged and the rights of women in a male-dominated society.  Continue reading

It was me an enemy sniper was trying to kill

A Sniper Takes Aim at this Young Lieutenant

A Viet Cong sniper was trying to kill me. Some motherfucker hiding in the trees, the bushes, the triple-canopy jungle had just shot at my platoon. I thought he was shooting randomly, despite the debris from the ground, grassland and other tiny bits of rock that struck me from a bullet’s ricochets.

No, he was aiming at no one but me! It’s taken me more than forty years to figure that out. 

Now I must try to answer the question, “Why was I spared?” and what will I do now with my life after seeing I got a second chance to live it toward a more purposeful ending?

Christ Almighty! How could I not detect this assassination attempt on my life in 1970? We had heard all the stories about the life expectancy of lieutenants — especially the second lieutenants, the lowest of what are called “junior” officers.

“Sixteen minutes.”

     Yeah, you read that right. Some “urban legend,” gave the new-in-country officer no more than the time it might take for a helicopter to touch down in a “Hot LZ,” a landing zone where guns were blazing. Sixteen minutes was all the time it took for an enemy sharpshooter — a gifted sniper — to beam onto the newbie leaving the chopper to get his first salute in a combat zone. The lieutenant would end up dead before he’d finish returning that salute.

     Who knows where that story originated? But there was some truth to it.

————-

     A sniper killed First Lieutenant Victor Lee Ellinger, the leader of the Third Platoon in my outfit, C Company. By all standards, he was a veteran, having been in the bush some three months before he was hit. The enemy killed no one else during the brief firefight.

When he went down, the platoon sergeant called the company commander, who ordered me to help Vic’s troops, only to learn he had died while I force-marched my platoon. We had to medevac out two soldiers who suffered heat exhaustion during the long, hard, fast slug I put them through. A forced march is a journey in “quick time,” a fast walk just slightly below a jog.

Throw in a 20-pound backpack in sweltering heat over a distance of half a click (500 meters or half a kilometer), and it could be quite grueling to breathe, let alone march quickly.

No One ever Shot at Me in my Old Neighborhood

     I didn’t bargain for this shit! Growing up in the city, I’d gotten into my share of fights, but no one ever shot at me.

But there I was, the man in charge. I never thought of the chaos a sniper could cause by shooting at the leader. He was out to get me, and he had me in his sights. I did not know that then. (I thank God for temporary stupidity. It’s kind of like temporary insanity, but that won’t get you off in a court of law.) I never put the shooting together with the target of the shooter. I thought the sniper was simply pinning down the squad I was leading, not shooting directly at its leader, me.

I moved forward but fell back when another round of fire rang out. Again, I felt some dirt and whatnot spray over me. But I still thought it was us as a group that he was shooting at.

No Hand-to-Hand Combat, No Fixed Bayonets

The entire time I served in Vietnam, I never saw the enemy up close and only got glimpses of him in the distance as we’d approach one of his encampments. I’d shoot in the direction of that glimpsed object, hoping I’d hit something or somebody. But I never knew whether it was me or someone else in my platoon who’d end up killing someone. We’d come across a body, and that would be the only time I’d come face-to-face with “Charlie,” the nickname we gave the enemy.

     No one I knew in Vietnam ever engaged in hand-to-hand combat. We used no fixed bayonets, and I threw only two hand grenades the time I was in the field, because we hardly ever got close enough to heave ‘em. We’d probably end up hitting a branch and have the explosion backfire had I tossed any more.

     Had I known then that a real person was “gunning” for me, I think I would have acted differently. It would have shaken me, instilled more fear in me. I’d be more cautious and more tentative in my actions, following orders, and passing on orders.

Combat Bravery Arises in Love for the Other Soldier

Oh, I’d still go a little “berserk” when someone got shot, and revenge sparked a fury that made one’s actions foolishly heroic. I’d charge like a madman when going to help a fallen soldier, as I did when learning that the third platoon had walked into an ambush and needed help from our platoon.

To hell with my safety, there were others worse off, and I believe I speak for every man I ever fought with by saying that any bravery we might have displayed arose from the love and compassion we had for the other guy.

I survived the war in Vietnam. I was never wounded, although I developed a hearing loss from artillery fire and claim it as a disability with the Veterans Administration. There are lots of psychological scars that flare up when stress triggers a traumatic memory. It’s called Post Traumatic Stress. But I am pretty much intact. But what’s keeping this vet alive all these years?

    Why was this Combat Soldier Spared?

Today, however, I have a question that only a higher command can answer. Why was I spared? Why was another killed and not me? Is this just survivor’s guilt? I could have, perhaps I should have been shot. But why was I not?

More importantly, what have I done with a life that was given to me by Fate or whatever power in the universe you want to name? What am I to do with myself now?

————–

The following is a conversation about this Blog post shared elsewhere:

Grandfathersky

Holy crap Michael, I just got the message here and I have to reflect on the story some… what I feel though, and the perspective I take now on “why life” is that it was your choice to live, to survive, and yet only to realize this so many years later. You helped those souls in you charge survive … it all has meaning, it is a free will universe, yet so many abdicate their natural rights … Do you ever speak to the men in your platoon?

Contoveros

 I have had no contact with any of the guys I served with except for a fellow lieutenant from Arkadelphia, Ark. He was Charlie Ellis. I spoke to him on the phone a few years ago after getting his number from his mother, who was still alive.

He had a Degree in Economics when I knew him in Vietnam. He was a tall southern boy with a lazy drawl to his voice. He came up through ROTC while Victor Lee Ellinger — the other junior officer — and I went to OCS.

I learned that he had “Found God” and became a lawyer just like me, serving as a public defender somewhere in Arkansas. We talked about our buddy who was killed by a sniper and commented on how moving our visit to the Vietnam Veteran Memorial was for both of us.

— A damn public defender. Still practicing. Still journeying on his spiritual path.

The Universe is amazing, and you can never truly understand the wisdom that is out there!

What is awakening my senses now-a-days?

I got hit upside the head today.

     Next, the sweet fragrance of roses mixed with just a slight tinge of oranges enticed my senses while meditating.

     This followed the experience yesterday of missing keys mysteriously reappearing as I puzzled through my new life journey of “unnatural” awareness.

     This morning, I jokingly referred to my 22-year-old son as my “stupid student” while traveling in the car, and something smacked me on the right side of my head, just slightly below the hairline. I looked up at the sun visor but knew I’d find nothing physical. I realized that some “non-ordinary” force had gently hit me ever so slightly.

     I immediately referred to myself as stupid and told a series of self-deprecating jokes, making Nicholas feel better about himself. He chimed in a few of his own, showing me how much wisdom, he actually does have.

“Letting Go” of Certain Beliefs Very Difficult

     We discussed how difficult it is to “let go” of certain beliefs, even when we find ourselves beating our heads against a brick wall, when all we had to do was be open to a less rigid belief, thus enabling us to simply walk around the wall to get to where we want to go.

     My second encounter with unseen forces was a more pleasant one. While meditating, I smelled the scent of flowers.

Nature can touch us if we open our hearts to her . . .

     It arose during a guided meditation when I was wishing that everyone could be free from danger, while obtaining happiness and good health, while living a life of ease.

    I realized that I had been smelling the scent more than a half a dozen times since the day before, and I had commented to my son about it. I hadn’t put the two things together until now.

     The “hit upside the head” and the caress of my olfactory senses occurred after a set of keys disappeared and then — like magic — reappeared some 24 hours later. No, I don’t believe it was carried out by a ghost or a poltergeist. My house is not haunted. A Presbyterian priest once blessed it, warding off any evil beings or things, and I believe that blessing still holds.

Something holy and good has deigned to touch me.

     I saw my keys vanish and then come back. I felt through the touch of my skin the slight pat on my head, and I smelled the lovely fragrance. It was the fragrance that got me thinking of holy things. You see, the Catholic Church calls it the “Odor of Sanctity,” or “Osmogenesia.”  They generally refer to the odor that emanates from the bodies of holy people or a holy person’s remains. The duration is brief or persistent; the scent is sweet or floral, such as honey-like, roses, lilies, violets, or incense, according to Sharing Catholic Truth, a spiritual website. (See: Supernatural Scents)

————–

     I thought of it after having visited the shrine of Saint Padre Pio outside of Pottstown, PA, where I once worked as a newspaper reporter. Padre Pio was reported to have exuded this “odor of sanctity” at a hotel room in Switzerland where the couple he was praying for were staying. In 1991, more than 10 years after his death, a man who underwent a quadruple bypass awoke from the anesthesia, and his right arm and leg were paralyzed.

Praying to Saint Padre Pio can be Miraculous

     He prayed to the saint, and after three fervent days of prayers, he noticed an overwhelming aroma of flowers. When the aroma faded, he felt a sensation in his right leg, and he knew at once Padre Pio had helped to answer his prayer.

     Could a benign spirit reach out and touch someone nowadays? Why not? I believe we are spiritual beings occupying a human body. Angels really do exist. I wouldn’t mind being guided by one because I’d know for sure that I was on the right path.

     And having one helluva good time while I’m at it!

Mystery key opens door to new adventure

Missing Keys Reappear Somewhat Mystically

     A spirit touched me today. Or, rather, the spirit touched the pair of jeans I had worn the day before and left on a chair after removing them before going to sleep. When I awoke and put the jeans back on, I got the surprise of my life.

     You see, I lost my keys yesterday. I have three keys on a large D-ring that is attached to a loop of the jeans where a belt runs through it. The keys were missing yesterday. I didn’t notice it until bundling up and hiking up the hill to get to my car, where my son had parked it the night before.

     “Uh oh,” I said and added a curse word or two. I left my keys in the house.

     Back I trudged, getting perturbed at my absent-mindedness. Inside the house, I searched the coffee table where I usually place the keys, but they were missing. Searching the floor and the crevices of the sofa where the cushions separate turned up nary a clue.

     I looked in the dining room, the foyer, and even the two bathrooms, but could not locate the missing keys. I even searched the refrigerator and the stove to see if I might have dropped them there.

Spare Key Helps Me Drive Again

     Eventually, I borrowed a set of keys from my son. He had been using the spare car key, and I went up the hill, fetched the car, and drove to the front of the house to wait for him to take him to work. (I had already searched the car, and my son and I both searched the front lawn, the pavement, and the steps leading up to the house.

    Keys were nowhere to be found.  Not even in the trash cans I had put out for collection the night before. Could I have dropped them in one of the cans? I might have, I thought.)

    With a clearer mind, I decided to do something about my plight. I called a Nissan car repair shop and ordered a new key made. It cost me a hundred dollars. I would still have to get new key-ring cards for the supermarkets and pharmacies, as well as an LA Fitness card and two library cards I use regularly.

Missing Keys “Magically” Reappear 

The keys manifested back on my jeans the next day. I couldn’t believe it! They were not on the pant loop the day before. I would have felt them when I pulled at the loop. I would have heard them when sitting at a dining table when they collide with a chair. My sonI call him “Eagle Eye” — would have seen them.

    They vanished. Twenty-four hours later, they returned.

I don’t know how this all happened.

Nor do I have any explanations for it.

 I’m not a nut. I’m not crazy. But something scientists call the “non-ordinary” occurred to me. I’ve been “touched.” By whom or by what, I can’t say, but I believe it is a good source, a good spirit, I    f you will.

     Now all I have to do is allow those keys to open the door to who knows what my next life’s adventure will be. I hope to have a lot of fun, and I’ll report back to you!

Healing others starts first with healing self

   Words of Another can help in Your Healing

 I felt a lot of healing when I read the following quote from the feminine deity: Moor Jani:

     “We all have the capacity to heal ourselves as well as facilitate the healing of others. When we get in touch with that infinite place within us where we are Whole, then illness can’t remain in the body. And because we’re all connected, there’s no reason why one person’s state of wellness can’t touch others. Elevating them and triggering their recovery. And when we heal others, we also heal ourselves and our planet.

      There is no separation except in our own minds.”

————-

Healing is one of the topics for my newest project, a retelling of Jesus’ life as a carpenter’s apprentice at age 20 in the Land of Palestine. I wrote it in less than thirty days as part of a challenge by NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) to complete a novel during the 30 days of November. I completed it today, November 30th, 2014.

Dying to Be Me’ Book Explains Healing Process

The quote above is taken from a book by Anita Moorjani, from whom I just sent an e-mail telling how I used her words to explain the healing process that she described in “Dying to Be Me.” I thought it was appropriate to quote what I imagined a Hindu deity would say about healing. I named the deity Moor Jani. It is spoken by a Buddhist lama named Lobsang, who has taught the young man from Nazareth the secrets of healing through the Reiki process. (I hope to all that is holy that she’ll grant me permission to use her words)

I enjoyed writing this work of fiction.

It may take a while before I can edit it for a full viewing. I would love to send excerpts to anyone willing to offer a critique of the writing. Simply address me here at this site. Your e-mail will appear in my Gmail account, so there will be no breach of confidentiality. (You can even create a fictitious name to use, but please, do not use Donald Duck unless you’re prepared to quack about it.)

Helping Jesus as a Former Greek Slave

Here’s another taste of the manuscript. It’s from the Oracle of Delphi where Jesus and his Greek sidekick, the former slave Michael, have just gotten a prophecy delivered.

Michael stood with eyes wide open as the oracle looked him in the eyes. He blinked and had difficulty in keeping eye contact with her. She spoke two words that seemed to blend together. “Conto . . . Veros,” the young and beautiful woman continued.  “You will speak the truth. You will be called the “Singer of Truth.

Conto-Veros. The words rang in his mind as Michael felt a chill and then a warmth overtake his very being. He rolled the words around in his mouth, trying to savor the feel of them. “Con . . . to . . . Ver . . . os,” he whispered to himself, slowly pronouncing each of the four syllables. He liked the sound of it. He liked the feel of it.

But what about “writing well” or “not writing at all“? What could that mean? Only time would tell and that was not to be revealed until many years later.

Friends are there when you need them most Cropped shot of a group of friends holding hands spiritual healing stock pictures, royalty-free photos & images

All can heal and help facilitate the healing in others.” — Moorjani

Ithaca Mystical Insights — by Contoveros

Trying to Understand the Meaning of Life

I am looking for the type of cover for my latest book, my son. It tells of a Mystical Journey I embarked upon several months ago, arriving in Ithaca, New York, for a three-day retreat. There, I met a teacher who explained how I could understand my life and its meaning.

  • He spoke no English, yet conveyed to me the Wisdom of the Ages.

     Provide a cover for this book, Nicholas. And I’ll publish it for the entire New World to see the Spirit of ancient Greece come alive once again. Let my Muse inspire others to see words and to hear voices of comfort and hope to and for the three times.

     “Ithaca Mystical Insights” is what I will call it. I’ll tell the tale of a seeker lost for some 20 years fighting a war that doesn’t seem to end until he leaves the enemy’s land and re-enter his gates in a different form. Following war, he’ll search for meaning over land and sea trying to return home to Ithaca and the security he believes it will provide.

Discovering the Real Truth About Life

     The protagonist doesn’t find his way until discovering answers as so many wanderers do. You’ll read about more battles, more glorious adventures as well as loves surfacing on the open seas. He never loses sight, however, of the main goal — and that is to discover the truth and the meaning of life.

     Provide me the cover and I will open this book for all to see. The hero promises to shed his amour and never to go back to war, thus ensuring all new adventures will take place only in my mind.

  • Agape, my young friend. Agape!

———————

     (For a look at an excerpt of the book, see https://contoveros.wordpress.com/2014/09/03/ithaca-insights-serve-up-peace-calm/

As stress keeps arising, meditation caps it

Someday I may just get my stress under control.

And like Buddy Holly once said: “That’ll be the day . . . that I die.

Stress is here to stay, my friend, and all we can do is to accept it and use skillful means to control it.

     Meditation is one of those means. I’ve been applying it for some five years now. I get a little better at it every day. I simply “don’t try,” nor “judge.” It ain’t easy. It takes practice.

Stress controls me until I meditate and choose like-minded friends

——————

     I can’t seem to let go sometimes; a thought crops up from somewhere. I really don’t know where it resides. I “see” the thought somewhere on a monitor screen in my mind, I guess.

And then it dissipates. It goes way, that is, as long as I don’t grasp onto it, believing it is the most profound thought I have ever had.

Or, a thought will scare the hell out of me. It may even prevent me from sitting any longer.

Believe World is Going to a Handbasket

I start to believe that the world is going to hell in a handbasket unless I take action right then to prevent a near-certain disaster from occurring in the immediate future.

These thoughts never come true, you know. (They never will, but they still try to repeat on me!)

     Worry causes much of my stress. Dwelling on the past does too. I have Post-Traumatic Stress. (That’s PTSD but without the D for “Disorder.”) I got it from serving in Vietnam a long time ago. Fear crops up. But when the perceived fear is gone, I can’t get back to normal. The “stressors“don’t let me. They don’t seem to go away, and they take a toll on my body.

My symptoms include irritability, anxiety, and depression. Sometimes, I overeat or drink alcohol. Neither works. I found the only thing that does work is meditating. I also try to stay in touch with like-minded people. People who won’t criticize me. People I can open to, and not be afraid of being vulnerable with. People who are spiritual but not necessarily religious, if you know what I mean.

     Focusing on Another can Relieve Stress

They help me deal with stress by simply allowing me into their lives. I resonate with them. I take on their cares and worries and try to provide compassion by just listening. Really listening —  from the heart and not the head. I don’t need to talk about my problems. Somehow, those problems disappear. They vanish when I focus on someone other than myself and freely give loving kindness.

     Stress? You’re out of my life for those brief shining moments. Meditating and mingling with those I truly care for can do that to stress.

I don’t have to die to experience it!

Neither do you, my friend.

At least, no one is shooting at me this time

(See Part One, “Cancer strikes . . .)  

Fear of Dying From Cancer Takes Over Me    

The train ride from home to the hospital was one of the longest trips of my life. I just knew I was going to die. I figured that the surgeon could not remove all the cancer during my operation 10 days earlier, and it finally struck me: I am a cancer victim!

     The doctor never called me with the results of the operation in the Veterans Hospital of Philadelphia. I spent five days and four nights there, mostly recuperating from the surgery. When I left, I had hoped to hear from the physician, but she didn’t call. I believed she was afraid to give me the bad news over the phone.

I never once opened the book I took with me to read on SEPTA’s R-6 rail line connecting Conshohocken with the 30th Street Station of Philadelphia. Nor did I open it when I sat on the bus that took me and several other veterans to the hospital in West Philadelphia. Who cared about reading when you only have so much time left? Who cares about anything in life when you’re facing death?

No Use for Cell Phone During this Trip

Nor did I check any of my e-mails on the cell phone I carried. How many people do you know that can go a full hour, let alone an entire day, without giving in to social media addiction? I know some who turn on their phones before getting out of bed in the morning. They just can’t live without seeing the latest text message or input from a Facebook friend or e-mail contact.

But there I was with no contact with the outside world as I made my way to the oncology ward, sat on an examination bed, and awaited the verdict from the doctor. I meditated as much as I could, hoping to calm the jitters I had all morning. It helps to block out all thoughts. It helps not to think because I usually tend to think the worst in a situation like this.

—————-

That’s it, Michael J. You got your breathing under control. You have been able to let all thoughts drift by without grasping onto them. You’re a blank slate right now. You’re living in the present moment. You’re safe and sound in a hospital office. No one is shooting at you, trying to kill you . . .

 Vietnam War Firefights Recalled 

You know, the greatest benefit of having served in combat is that during the worst times of my adult life, I have always been able to compare it to the firefights I faced while in the Vietnam War. Nothing compares to it. No divorce, no death in the family, no serious illness. Did I just mention illness? Yes, even an illness such as a life-threatening one is cancer. At least I’m not suffering pain at this moment. I’m not hurting. I’m not sniveling like a baby who hasn’t got his way for good health and a long life.

I am simply alive. And I can “be” alive for as long as I keep my mind away from any and all negative aspects of death. And I can feel God by saying, “At least no one is shooting at me!”

Uh oh. Someone just opened the door. It’s Doctor Carter Paulson. She’s smiling. She touches my arm, and I am now set for her pronouncement.      “You’re cancer free,” she says. “We got it all.

————-

  • No cancer means no chemotherapy . . . no radiation . . . no negative thoughts of an impending death.!

Now what do I do with this second chance I got from this bout with cancer?

What Would You Do?

Riding high on the back of an Amazon.com

Seeing your new book on sale quite uplifting

Simply knowing that I wrote a book is one helluva experience.

Seeing it on Amazon.com is breathtaking! Continue reading

Contentment: Learning to be Content OK

     “Good Enough” is the lazy man’s way to enlightenment . . . There’s nothing more to do . . .  Your job is good enough . . . Your spouse is good enough . . .Your life  is good enough . . . Your meditation practice is good enough. . . You don’t need anything more, and what you now have is good enough. — This is all according to a young monk, – Ajahn Khemavaro, who spoke on Impermanence, in a 2008 presentation, “Everything Will Be alright.Continue reading

Ithaca Insights Serve Up Peace & Calm

     

How May I Serve You?

     That’s the key to a happy life, you know. Learning to serve others selflessly with no expectation of a reward other than the knowledge you are doing unto others something you’d want them to do . . . unto everyone else.

      It’s a different version of the Golden Rule, which I always thought had some sort of tit for tat attached. “Do unto others what you would have them do unto you” is one of the versions I remember growing up in a Christian household. My father was Greek Orthodox, and my mother Catholic. Mom had her way; she was in cahoots with the parish priest, and my dad actually “did unto others” but never saw any of his sons “do unto him” by following the Orthodox path. Well, there are always the grandchildren, right nephews Joe, Michael, and Rocky, and let’s not forget Nick, as well as any we don’t know about who may have entered this country out of wedlock.

Serving Others can Help End Suffering

      No, serving others is just like serving yourself. You want to end all the suffering in your own life, and the best way to start is to turn your focus away from your woes and zero in on all others, all the ones you might have the least bit of contact with or upon, and can do something, even the slightest thing to make them more comfortable, less tense, and feeling that at least one person out of 8 billion really does care.

      I didn’t know it, until “awakening” during a three-day retreat in Ithaca, NY, when the veil of illusion was slowly removed from my eyes and I saw like a Mystic. It’s no big deal. I view things as I believe they should be, not the way they are. My goal in life is to try my best to get others to see things this way, the ideal reality, and not the conventional or illusory way.

     Insight showed me that I have served others one way or another in most of my adult life. It showed in the jobs I held, the positions I sought to take for a “Right Livelihood;” the beliefs I adopted while discarding bits and pieces of what didn’t “feel right” or those I might not be ready to fully adopt at this moment.

Serving as a Printer for Others to Read

     I worked as a printer when I was 18 years old. I studied the trade while in high school, and learned what is called the “offset process.” It has to do with oil and water not mixing and how ink, an oil-based substance, would somehow adhere to another substance. I can’t tell you what waters got to do with it, but I think one washes away the other, and an image that had been burned into a metal plate “grasps” the ink while all mass around the image or “type” is washed away. What is conveyed to paper is what you see: Black Ink on a white background.

      I was pretty good at developing negatives for burning images into plates. I could make a plate with just the right amount of muscle, rubbing the flat metal not to tire myself out. When the plate was completed, my job ended. The plate would be sent to a “pressman” (or woman) who’d adjust it into the large printing presses and run off a couple of hundred thousand copies of something or other. (Actually, I think plates at that time were only good for tens of thousands of copies, but who’s counting?)

     Someone was expected to read the printed matter. A copywriter created a series of words and graphic arts to draw the attention of a reader. (I worked as a copy-writer for a short time and I know I tried to “serve” the consuming public who’d be choosing between one product and another for an acquisition. I also “served” my boss in providing him with the best job I could.)

Starting Off with an Excerpt from a Book 

     (This is an excerpt from the first book I wrote, still unpublished, called Ithaca Incites Mystical Insights.”)

      Printing has always been a two-way street in my book. You engage in one effort for the benefit of another. Take the patron saint of the printing press, a German fellow named Gutenberg. If it weren’t for him, the Christian bible would never have been distributed so widely, thereby helping all people. (Actually, Western Civilization only. The East was doing pretty well without having to suffer through such growing pains as the “Dark Ages.”)

      I provided a service, and I felt fulfilled in doing my small part.

 

Ithaca insights incite a Mystic to write inspirational illogical idioms!

     I got drafted and served in the military. Yes, of course it counts even if you didn’t “sign up” for service. Us poor kids in urban settings all knew we were going to be drafted unless your dad knew some politician or had money to elaborate how serious your knee or back problem really was. Uh oh. You’re not 4-A and now you can’t be drafted.

      Anyway, I got discharged after serving less than two years, and then I “signed up” or “re-upped” to go to OCS (Officers Candidate School), where I learned to serve my country and whatever else the top brass had ordered me to serve. I went to war, did my thing, and returned home, where I served some mor

Serving other Veterans at Community College

 While in community college, I volunteered to counsel other veterans returning home interested in attending college courses. Who knew whether they were “college material.” You dodged bullets and stepped around land mines; I guess that qualifies you for getting through the obstacle course of higher education.

     Plus, I can show you how Uncle Sam will pay you a certain amount of money each month to help raise you into the Middle Class and make our country a helluva prosperous one! That road generally starts with a good education, something most of the people I grew up with never pursued, perhaps because they were tired of serving others and wanted to focus on themselves. It’s too bad. They might have gained the world, but lost so much of themselves, not to mention missing the boat to happiness.

 Yes, serving others leads to happiness! Ask the Dalai Lama, or the nuns working as hard as Mother Theresa worked in the streets of Calcutta and elsewhere.

So Much Joy Available when You Freely Give 

It is truly “better to give, and not receive,” particularly when it costs so little to bring about such great joy in anther’s life. That joy starts out as a tiny smile that barely breaks through into a smile until the truly needy accepts the small offering and whispers a thank you. Even if you give anonymously as most of us do, we can use our imaginations to “visualize” the reception our gift is greeted with. Sneakers will fit and the poor can give away or throw out the ones filled with holes. That little dress will look great on my 6-year-old; Tommy can play catch with the baseball (or glove); we can have heat in our apartment for another month.

 By visualizing how you’d feel if some benefactor aided you, you can get a thrill of sorts. You live vicariously through gift-giving. You are serving others with no wish to gain something from it except the altruistic feeling and knowledge that you did the right thing. You’re a “Mensch” as my Hebrew friends might point out. It’s another Mitzvah in the long line of Mitzvahs you perform for the glory of a higher being.

 I served as a reporter for a newspaper. I wrote stories that informed people about government, crime, social activities, as well as the weather. It was a true service even though our critics say we writers were simply trying to sell the news so that we could get more advertisers and make lots of money.

————

I found the “service road “ for me leading through the union movement, as I took part in helping to negotiate contracts between the papers’ management and The Newspaper Guild. I felt so pulled to serve others more directly that I took a leave of absence and worked as a union organizer, trying my best to bring the union gospel to non-union newspaper employees all over the Philadelphia area.

 Law School Beckons Me to Serve

That’s when I decided to go to law school. I wanted to lead workers into a world where there’d be little poverty, little economic inequality, and we’d all live happily ever after.

 It didn’t work out that way after getting a D+ in my Labor Law class, forcing me to take that as a sign from God that I should find service elsewhere. And, I did, studying criminal law (where I’d gotten an average a little better than a C+!)

 I worked as a public defender in Philadelphia for 20 years, serving poor people charged with crimes as well as the families who suffered along with their loved ones while seeking a trial or the right sentence to serve for any criminal actions committed.

I got paid, of course. In the meantime, I attended church “services”. I guess the main one getting credit for ‘serving‘ would be the one leading the spiritual activities.

————–

But simply attending a meeting with other Congregationalists provides a service to everyone, including yourself.

Alumni Board and Vet’s Club helps me to Serve

 I served on an alumni board for a community college and became a member of a vets’ club. I got no pay for either activity, and like attending church services, I didn’t expect any. In fact, I seemed to always give at services and to the organizations. So, maybe they don’t really count. After all, I did hope to gain something. Heaven at the church, and friendship and possible job contacts at the others.

 Writing has become my latest and greatest way I know of serving. I write with no pecuniary interest. I’d like others to read this, but even if I am long gone and working on two or more lifetimes after this one, I’d still be happy.

Serving by Way of My Inspirational Writings

 It’s like St. Teresa of Avila said. Even if just one person can gain from what I put on paper, then I have served the Will of God. Not that I am comparing myself to such a humble and compassionate person as the Carmelite nun from the 1550s. It’s her spirit that I have tried to lasso and bring into my corral. Read and be inspired to love another, to give of yourself with no hope of gain, to seek death so that another might live in your place if that is what may be required by the divine Essence, then who am I to deny it?

     Take the last breath from this body if it could serve another; if it could serve the greater purpose of the universe; let a smile be on my face as I look death in the face and ask as boldly as the tough kid from Brewerytown could ask Death:

What Took You So long?”

Meditate First and Foremost Each Day!

What a surprise!

I expected to try to get through the day today without my morning cup of meditation offering from Deepak & Oprah. I figured the 21-day journey had ended yesterday, August 31st. Yet today, the American holiday called “Labor Day,” they gave us a gift — an extra day. And boy, did I need it. Continue reading

‘Do’s’ and ‘Don’t’s’ of Radiating Wisdom

 Today’s meditation showed us that we all have a profound and innate wisdom. How have you experienced this in your life? Write about a time that you spontaneously said the right thing at the right time to someone. What did that communication feel like for you? — Deepak & Oprah 21-day Meditation Experience.

Wisdom Flourishes from Deep Within

As I struggle to come up with a satisfactory answer for this question, let me focus instead on what Deepak had quoted William Blake as saying in reference to wisdom. Wisdom is “organized innocence.” What a concept! In order to have or to cultivate wisdom, I know that I must be in awe of something; I must see that thing with wonder, with the eyes of an innocent child.

It is only when I perceive it this way, that is, when I use what Zen Buddhists call my “beginner’s mind,” that I see the true writing on a wall I offered up for its clean slate to be imprinted upon.

Wisdom is not something confined to those growing old. Nor is it only for the professor-types in ivory towers, although we can revere what many tell us because of the learning they achieved and can pass on to us. No, wisdom is something that – I believe – we’re born with . . . We have it inside of us, and one of the few ways that we can tap into it is through meditation.

Very Wise to Experience Things from Within

In other words, I don’t have to have lots of experiences to be wise. I need only to experience things from within and be able to see things from the child’s point of view. Then I can feel the richness in witnessing.

Now, what was that question that I just dodged?

     “Write about a time that you spontaneously said the right thing at the right time to someone. What did that communication feel like for you?”

I told a young woman, Rita, that our relationship would have to come to an end, and that we had to enjoy it while we were together. We were both married at the time. I’m not proud of it, but we had an affair. I was twenty-three and she was twenty-one or twenty-two. We came together as troubles had developed in both of our relationships at our separate homes.

      We had fun and we grew, sharing ourselves in a way that we couldn’t with our spouses at that time. We both got divorces. She is much quicker than me. That angered her. I guess she felt that I should have joined her upon her break-up with her husband. I did not, for I was Catholic, and I knew instinctively that I would not.

That’s what I meant when I said our relationship was impermanent and that it would not last. Nothing does.

———–

     I guess another time that this occurred was more recently, but it feels like several lifetimes ago. I had predicted to a young woman whom I had fallen in love with that we would only be together for six months. I actually told her in June that we could learn from each other and then finish what we needed to do by December.

No Good in Trying to Cling to a Relationship

That’s exactly what happened too! But this time, I was the one who didn’t want to pay attention to my own advice. I wanted permanence. I wanted to cling to the relationship, to hold onto something that had already ended, but I couldn’t and didn’t want to see that my earlier premonition was correct.

In each case, I was prophetic with the wisdom.

Achieving wisdom and following it, however, are two things I have learned that don’t necessarily come together all the time . . .

The Enlightenment of a Dharma Listener

I’m down to just two more days now . . . Two more days in which to become enlightened through the 21-Day Meditation Experience of Deepak & Oprah. Today is the 20th Day. Tomorrow, I’m afraid, it will end for me and you.

     No matter what happens, though, I’ve been exposed to what Buddhists call the Dharma. That is, the “teachings” of meditation by Siddhartha Gotama, the person most of us call the “Buddha.”

     It reminds me of a story I heard recently.   

It’s about a Frog.

     The frog lived in the time of Siddhartha, at a time when the young man from Nepal had become an enlightened one. The Buddha was teaching a small group of followers at the banks of the Gaggara lotus pond when the frog heard his voice and wanted to get closer. The Buddha sat cross-legged in what would one day be called the “lotus position.”

     The little critter moved from one spot in the pond to another and could just about see the teacher. Still, the frog wanted to get even closer so that he could hear about the cessation of suffering, which we have come to know as the “Third Noble Truth.”

Frog Listens to the Words of a Holy Man

     When the frog hopped out and landed on dry land, where he sat, legs behind his squishy little frog-like body, and took in the words being freely offered by this wonderful holy man.

     A farmer from a nearby house then approached. He was a cowherd who also wanted to hear what was being said in his native country of India. But as he approached the speaker, the cowherd focused not on the ground where he was walking, but on Siddhartha.

Anyone listening to Dharma today can become enlightened!

     —-

Leaning on his crook, he crushed the poor frog that lay beneath him. As a result, the frog died and was reborn in the realm of the:

Thirty-Three with a twelve-yojana gold Mansion [vimana] and [was] attended by nymphs,”

according to reports published in a Dharma book.

—-

That’s not the end of the story, however.

—-

     As the frog became a god, he reflected on what deeds he had done to deserve all of this.  That’s what he realized that it was simply his attraction to the Buddha’s voice, his brief exposure to the Dharma that did it!

     Then the frog came down to the Buddha and honored him.

The Buddha then spoke:

 Who, bright with psychic potency and entourage, with surpassing beauty making all the quarters effulgent, is honoring my feet?”

     Then the frog (now a God!) explained:

 I was formerly a frog, a water-denizen.  But while I was listening to your Dhamma a (young) cowherd killed me.

For a moment’s serenity of mind, behold my psychic potency and entourage and behold my majesty, beauty, and behold my brightness.

Those who for long have heard your Dharma, Gautama, it is they who have attained the unmoving place where they who go grieve not.

Enlightened Frog becomes a Noble Hearer

     After this, the frog became stream-entered, that is, he became a Noble Hearer.   After honoring the Buddha, the god (our friend the frog) returned to his celestial world.

(For more on the frog, please go to the site where I gleaned much of this Dharma story known as the Zennist Typepad

Writing heats up; twice blesses me & you

     I am hot. I feel like I have a fever . . . A fever that pulses through me for the past several weeks. It seems this fever entered my bloodstream just about the same time as I started doing twice-a-day meditations with Deepak and Oprah for a 21-day Meditation Experience. Writing in the journal has added to the mix.

     Wherever possible, I have gone into my treasure bank of some 600 articles I wrote to offer my take on a question or two that I had handled before. It’s amazing how meditation has been a constant in my life and remains the only real permanent fixture we can count on.

     Buddhists believe that all things are constantly in flux and are changing day by day, hour by hour, and minute by minute. There is “impermanence” in this world, the Buddha said. When I can finally realize that deep in my core, then I’ll be enlightened.

Meditation Creates State of Love and Compassion

     I believe the heat or warm feeling washing over me is pure energy. Meditation has energized my battery after forcing it to rest in a calm state where it could fill up with love and compassion. This energy gets increased once I start to touch on it and offer it to others, be it through a thought or a deed.

     So, I became twice blessed with it. Once when the source dictates what it wants to pass through me – it’s a frail and overheated conduit – and secondly, when I write and then edit the offerings for public consumption. I get more out of giving more.

  • What is it that Shakespeare said about the lawyer named Shylock?
  • The quality of mercy is twice blessed? One is for the one receiving the mercy, but it is just as powerful for the one granting that mercy.
  • Yeah, that’s the ticket. Writing will do that to you . . . Writing first and then remembering to bow down to the Source that controls and offers up the writing to you . . .

Hoping for a lofty goal, I write a lot & often

(Question 2 on Hope)
You may also have experienced this kind of hope, (See https://contoveros.wordpress.com/?p=12505&preview=true) but not thought of it in those terms. Think of a time when you felt sure you were going to attain a lofty goal, even though the path to the goal was not apparent. That is the hope that comes from your being. Describe this feeling of certainty in your journal. – Deepak Chopra 21-Day Meditation Experience (Feeling Hope) I was a buck private in training as a soldier in Fort Dix, NJ, when I had a vision, or what Zen Buddhists call a “satori” or moment of clarity of what I needed to do with my life.

Hope to One Day Write a Book

I was a buck private in training as a soldier in Fort Dix, NJ, when I had a vision, or what Zen Buddhists call a “satori” or moment of clarity of what I needed to do with my life.

     I needed and wanted to write a book.

    Not just any book, but one where I was the hero. Well, hero may not be the right word. In the book, I was to be the center of attention, while everything I’d write about would involve me and things that I had some sort of contact with. I used the model of the Bible as a guide.

     I figured that the greatest book that there ever was should be the map and framework for my book. I’d be just like Christ, but not face crucifixion or circumcision. There was a driving force behind this idea. The idea stayed with me from the moment I was nineteen years old until I finished working for a living and found the leisure time to write about what I had discovered over the years.

Blogging Leads to Eventual Plans for a Book

     I didn’t know that I would write a book when I started dabbling with a Blog. I started writing on WordPress the same month that Uncle Dom had died in 2009, and I guess I haven’t stopped since then. The blog became my way of expressing what I was seeing around me and what was happening to influence me. I learned that most of what I was learning was something I already knew, but had forgotten.

     I think that much of spiritual knowledge is like that. We don’t get our “smarts” from someone or some book out there. We get it from inside, where true wisdom, love, and hope reside. It takes some of us a lifetime, however, to realize that. All we needed to do was to become as silent as Dominick, smile, and hope to visit that wise child inside who has never left us. The child becomes the guide and offers us the inspiration to set goals and to eventually achieve them.

Another Step In Writing Achieved!

     You’re reading this right now, and that goes to show you that I achieved another step toward my goal. You can do it once you identify your goal and stick to it as if your life depended on it.

     Your spiritual life will depend on it for you to follow through for your salvation.

(For the first question on hope, please see previous post with a click below left.)

Editor’s note. Michael J Contos, writing as ” Contoveros” authored two books by this date, one a novel about Francis of Assisi, his favorite community organizer, and a second one on his spiritual journey to Ithaca, NY.

Hope fills your presence and your future

We introduced a new understanding of hope today. We want to build a sense of hope that is a force of change that comes from a feeling of certainty and well-being within, rather than an anxious kind of hope that vaguely wishes for things to turn out well. Write about an experience you may have had with this stronger kind of hope. – Deepak Chopra (Day 6 — Feeling Hope) 
 (For more on meditation, see Chopra Center Meditation. Experience)

Hope can Help Guide Through All of Life

I don’t think you can have a future or any type of “end product” without hope. I see hope more as a process, a living force that flows from day-to-day, hour by hour, and minute by minute. We hope for something that will come into existence in some future time. Yet the feeling we get through the act of hope occurs in the present.

It’s like living. No, it is living, which is living in the present moment while expending energy in a real certainty that there will be answers for what we hope for tomorrow. For instance, I hope to publish a book. Actually, I have five books in which I hope to publish over the next several months. That’s ten hopeful wishes, so to speak. I am in the process of self-publishing, and I hope to obtain an end product sometime later this year.

Hope that Writing will Inspire Others

My hope is that the books will be well-received and, more importantly, that someone reads them. I hope that they will inspire others and reveal truths that I’ve learned through a mystical journey I started some six years ago. That’s when I retired from “regular” work, and I found my true passion in writing. I like to say that I traded in a legal career to return to a writing one, this time, not as a newspaper reporter, but a reporter on and about life!

Since September 2009, I had hoped that I could offer as much compassion and love as the monsignor did at my Uncle Dominick‘s funeral. Uncle Dom was the last surviving blood relative from either of my parents’ sides. He was the baby of the family and had babysat me when I was sent to my grandmother’s house to avoid any harm. My mother, Dom’s half-sister, had suffered from postpartum depression, and I was shipped off to Mays Landing, NJ, from Philadelphia, PA, to prevent any danger to me and to provide the much-needed help for my frail and sickly mother.

Grandmother Provides Unconditional Love

     Did someone see some hope in me? I like to think that Grandma Hagel did. Whenever someone asked me if I knew who provided me with unconditional love, I automatically think of her. Yet, I remember very little about her. I guess there was (is) a feeling about the times I had contact with her that lends itself to such an impression.

     Uncle Dom was the quiet type. He served in the navy during World War II and “inherited” Grandma’s house after he got married and began raising his own children. He married one of the toughest women I have ever encountered, Aunt Frances. She was the bossy type who always seems to control every situation. And if she couldn’t control it, she found a way to influence it by getting to the guy or girl in charge!

Spiritual Path Provides Hope for the Future

I got hope for my spiritual path when the cleric at Uncle Dom’s funeral butchered Aunt Frances’ name. No one messed with Aunt Frances, and I took it as a sign for a drastic change in my life. I figured that I was as spiritual as that priest, and that I could prove it.

Of course, I had meditated for more than a year, having learned mindfulness meditation in a Veterans Administration clinic and at a weekly meditation session with a Zen teacher. Hope infused in me after I prayed for Uncle Dom, meditated, and rose to the standing position with the others in the church. We stood to exit the pew where we had been either seated or were kneeling. It was time to receive Holy Communion.

— Hope for us Fallen Catholics —

Communion is something I can’t receive anymore. You see, I got married “outside” the church, and I would have to get a dispensation from the pope or get remarried “in” the church to take on that sacrament. It is one of the worst sins the Catholic Church has imposed on its faithful, and I’m sure it has driven out — and is still keeping out — many Catholics who are good people. These are people like me who had simply met other good folks of different religious backgrounds and agreed to accept the spouse’s choice of where to get married.

I got married in a Presbyterian Church by a Methodist minister named Michele Wright Bartlow, the sister of my soon-to-be wife, the former Wendy Wright.

I hope that someday a pope like Pope Francis will grant a blanket absolution for those of us who chose to say our marriage vows somewhere other than in a Catholic church. I’d “go back” to the church if he waved a magic wand and said all was forgiven. I would be able to receive communion again and not have to pretend like I did during the funeral for Uncle Dom.

Fake It ‘Til You Make It Works Spiritually

  •      What I did was to fake it. I stood up in church, made my way to the center aisle, but instead of walking forward, I went backward.  Persons with an untrained eye who saw me walking backward believed I was without a mortal sin. In the Catholic faith, you can’t receive Holy Communion with a mortal sin “on your soul.” You can if you only have venial sins, according to church doctrine which I believe has not changed since I was an altar boy in the 1960s…

————–

So, I marched backward and then made my way around the church, checking out some of the statues on display at various sections of the House of God. My hope was that no one would take offense, and from what I noticed, no one did. No one has ever commented about it, and I guess my hope helped to create a happy ending of sorts.

I became more spiritual and have not really looked back except to reflect on how far along this path a sinner like me has been able to travel. See, there is hope for everybody if they seek it out. It freed me up to write, and I haven’t stopped since that fateful day.

     Stay tuned for more hope in tomorrow’s post. That’s when I’ll try to “wright a wrong“, so to speak. Or just click the post at right below.)

Getting a Good Last Laugh is so Laudable

Despite always having a smile on my lips and a laugh at my tongue, I found it hard to think of anything to write about for the latest meditation round for Oprah and Deepak. That is, until I picked up my son at work this evening and we joked and laughed until I almost did you know what in my pants. It hurt so much that I started crying, that’s how good it was and how great it felt to just let it all come out in front of one of his 22-year-old buddies and our 25-year-old female traveling companion.

Continue reading

Transcending My State of Meditation

     Transcend to a Higher Level of Consiousness

I took off from Planet Earth this morning. It all happened when Deepak Chopra pushed a button inside of me, using the words “transcend” and “Higher Levels of Consciousness.” Continue reading

Fuzzy needs Kabbalah Group to grow by

(Unpublished Kabbalah story from Feb. 18, 2011)

Fuzzy needs Group to glow bright

     Fuzzy was a Fuzz Ball that wanted to give love to whoever he met. It all started when he felt a point in the heart materialize, and a wish to bestow came over him.

     He’d give love here, there, just about everywhere, every day to everybody he came into contact with. After all, he had thousands of tiny fuzz balls to give away. He’d pluck ‘em from his round little body and pass them on, trying to ease pain here, create a smile there. Continue reading

NaNoWriMo done in 30 days, thank God

I just finished writing 73,000 words about Francesco, the young man from Assisi who overcame post-traumatic stress from battles, as well as a year-long imprisonment, before being ransomed by his rich mercantile father. Continue reading

Don’t eat all the hummus, Michael J

To      Michael J

From Melanie K

     I had such a nice night. My favorite part was sitting outside talking on the bench. Who knew we would be together in such a situation?
    • the Lovely Garden beside a Thai Buddhist Temple 
    • the Freshness of Post-Meditation
    • the Purity of Post-Meditation
    • the High of Talking Dharma with a New Friend, Luke 
    • Surrounded by Bonsai Trees Continue reading

Angels appear when disbelief is suspended

     A friend of mine is “intoAngels. “Suspend your disbelief,” he told me, explaining how belief in angels re-materialized into his life recently. I knew at that moment that the resistance he had spoken of was puffing out its chest and stepping between me and the computer screen where his words appeared.

(Written by Melanie Kriebel)

Continue reading

You’ve been Called; now Choose up Sides

Am I among the “Chosen?” Will I be one of those who make the “cutoff” at the end when the proverbial bill finally gets to be paid?

I don’t know. If you had asked me some five years ago, I’d tell you to hit the road, Jack. I’m not into any of that Doomsday Stuff. The so-called “Chosen People” were the Jews, right? Look what happened to them.

And don’t the Jehovah’s Witnesses folks believe that a couple of hundred thousand of them will disappear from the earth at the time of the Rapture? And what about some old-fashioned Presbyterians? Didn’t Calvin or one of their leaders claim to be among the chosen few?

I’d tell you that this is the stuff that kooks dream up for superstitious old ladies and men who have nothing better to do than face their own mortality, hoping they could miraculously get to Heaven if they just turned their lives around in the last years of their lives. They’ll believe in anything or anyone that could offer them salvation with a money-back guarantee!

Are You ‘Squandering Your Life?’

But something happened to me. I felt like I got hit upside the head with a spiritual sledgehammer from some animated cartoon. I heard a voice ask me if I was ‘squandering away my life,” and it scared the hell out of me. I looked at the world around me and saw that nothing had “staying power.” I’d have fun and get my kicks from the old standbys: wine, women, and songs.

But they held no meaning anymore. I’d drunk too much wine, my wife fell down the steps and suffered a traumatic brain injury, leaving me nothing but sad songs of days gone by to sing about. I hit bottom and found there was nothing on this planet that could inspire me to get my butt off the ground, and my head outta my butt.

I got the call. I got the spiritual call. And, more importantly, I answered that call. And, I’ve been seeking answers ever since, sharing some tidbits of crazy wisdom with people I feel might be of like mind and what I call a “what-the-hell-do-I-have-to-lose” desperation.

You Could Be One of the Spiritually Chosen

If you’ve read this far, you might be one of ‘em. The Chosen, that is. You don’t think you got to this point in your life on your own, do you? You were knocked to the ground on purpose. You were forced to “Call on a Resource” you thought had given up on your wretched personhood. You could either sink into major depression, drugs, and/or the negative lifestyle you had led, or let go.

You let go, didn’t you? Just as I had to, with no assurance that tomorrow would be any more secure or stable as today had turned out to be.

I had learned to take a step without moving my foot, as Rumi once suggested. I could only do it by completely surrendering my old self, the ego-self that controlled my life and got me on a bridge to nowhere with no guide to help navigate away from that dead-end.

Admit You Need Help in ‘Letting Go’

It was in the process of “letting go” that I discovered a path similar to the one you’re walking. We could never have reached this point without first humbling ourselves and admitting we needed help. We needed something the world couldn’t provide, and so we looked beyond this world. We’d be ridiculed, barely tolerated, and our sanity questioned as even well-intentioned family and friends would whisper about our loved one finally going off the deep end.

    Yes. I Jumped.

I removed myself from a reality that focuses only on the material, that judges you only by your successes and the riches you’ve acquired, the medals you gained, the reputation you so carefully strove to keep up. None of this meant anything anymore. I wanted the freedom to simply “BE.

I needed the Divine in, and of, the Cosmos to become my dearest lover, my comforting parent, my faithful friend. I found all of these – this trinity of engaging partners – through a sincere and contrite prayer, and the trust that the prayer would be answered. That you and I could grow into our purpose for, and in, life by giving up our will for the Will of God; by becoming corrected as prayed for by Kabbalists; by celebrating like a laughing Buddhist monk when he realizes Karma has finally ripened for him to always act in his Buddha nature.

Your Chosen Team Just Can’t Lose

I got picked to play on a team that can’t lose. What are you waiting for? You can join me by simply leaving your “self” outside the playground. You’ve been chosen! Now, help others you know who could practice with us in this game.

Universal Love grants me the touch of love

   

     I wanted so much to write about your soft, careful touch on my arms and my hands. How you slide your fingers ever so meticulously over the outer parts of me, teasing a sensation to come forth, to grow from the inside out, knowing all along your touch is the Touch of Love.

     Your touch is the touch of a mother on baby’s soft back side, the comforting touch of her when the child later stumbles and cuts his or her knee, the firm touch to the face and chin directing that child’s head toward your loving eyes and stern expression, while saying, “Listen: You are good, and don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise.”

Your Touch is to Die For

     Now.

     Not in some future, but this very moment as I recall it in all its sweetness.

     I recall the past touch as if it just occurred and did not actually happen some  time ago.     

     It is one long present moment that I think of when I recall this touch of yours.

     It makes me want to use my appendage to humbly try to bring a small pleasure to you, my beautiful child. “My Dearest One.”

Calling Out to My Dearest One! 

     May I call you that? “Dearest!” “My Dearest.” You are so dear to me, the dearest. For you are the closest to my heart than anyone, save the Creator who brought you into my presence, into my arms, and into my very being!

     When I touch you, I want you to feel love over every inch I hope to slowly move the fingertips, praying that I too can awaken in you the softer side of love and caring.

     Trust me.

     Please believe me You can trust again. I won’t hurt you. Not in this moment.

     I will not harm you. For, I am Love. You are Love. We are love together. And in the name of all love that has ever been and ever will be you know that I am yours and you’re mine right now.

  Divine Possession Now Shared by Us

     It’s a Divine Possession we share, formed from an internal pure and clear light of understanding and wisdom. And joy, let’s not forget the bliss of joy that sets us apart from any and all other attractions by something less divine than the perpetual, primordial, infinite love of the Universe.

     It is a Divine Love that we tap into when we give all of ourselves so that the other person might live in love.

It is pure, unselfish. It is what Soul Mates are made of and from. And, it started with the first magical, mystical touch!

I Find my True Nature when Not Looking

When you touch that part of me that has never been touched, a dormant thing erupts.

I am observing this thing for the first time.

Did it exist inside of me or did you put it there when I wasn’t looking?

When I noticed it, it hid behind my ear. I tried to find it, put a name to it, and store it in a folder where everything is orderly and safe. It wouldn’t go.

It was quick like a fox, creeping down my left arm while I examined my right, hiding under my knee when I thought I felt it brush the side of my face.

I am barren without it, yet all the happier to have seen it, if only for such a brief time not long enough even to know what to call it.

Melanie Kriebel 2013

Four Truths to Enoble the Strongest Mind

     Sometimes the only way for me to understand something is to try to put it into my own words. Particularly, if I want to memorize or “imprint” something so that I can keep it near and dear to me, like an inspirational poem or saying I still remember from my earliest days.

     And so, thanks to the kindness of WordPress, I will use my meager intellect to place into words something my heart has tried to understand and permit to grow from one lifetime to another. It is the Four Truths that can enable those noble among us to overcome what is wrong in our lives, and we can set things right.

     The First is the basic truth that there is much of life that is plainly unsatisfactory.

     I can’t put my finger on it exactly, but I sometimes feel an uncomfortableness, an irritation that goes away temporarily, but returns too soon, too often. Some people call it “suffering.” They say, “There is suffering.”

Not Getting Satisfaction is True Suffering

     Wise men and women thousands of years ago called the suffering “Dukkha,” a Sanskrit word which roughly means “unsatisfactory,” or better yet, “incapable of satisfying.” I liken its meaning to the old Rolling Stones song of the 1960s, with the words by Mick Jagger screaming his truth to the world:

I . . . Can’t . . . Get . . . No . . . Satisfaction.

     Suffering and dukkha can be understood.

     Once I achieve this, I can say I understand suffering and dukkha.

     The Second Truth is that there is a Cause for this dukkha, and that is attachment to desires.

     Desires in and of themselves are all right. It’s my clinging to them at all costs that causes the harm, the dissatisfaction, or suffering. Desires can be let go of. When this happens, I can say I have let go of desires.

Noble Truths Open Door to the ‘Middle Way’

     The Third Noble Truth is that there can be a “cessation” of suffering or feeling unsatisfied.

     This cessation can be realized. Once I have experienced this cessation, I can say that I have fully realized it.

     That leads me to the Fourth Noble Truth, and that is that suffering and its cause can end if I follow a certain path.

     That path is called the “Middle Way” between the extremes of pain and pleasure. I can aspire to follow 8 guidelines, called by some sages as the “Eight-Fold Path.” The first two “practices” call for wisdom, while the next three deal with a form of morality, and the third group, concentration.

     I can develop wisdom through understanding, the right understanding of the way things are, and not the way my unenlightened mind usually sees them. It helps me to always have the right attitude, or right intention toward things, events, and what scientists call phenomena.

Right Speech, Right Action, Right Livelihood

     As far as morality goes, I should simply have “Right Speech,” “Right Action,” and “Right Livelihood.” Don’t curse too much, don’t slander anyone, don’t lie or gossip. Act upon the maxim that whatever you do in life, you are approving everyone else to do, according to Emmanuel Kant, one of my favorite philosophers, I recall from my college days. It’s the same action that Jesus said: “Do unto others as you would like them to do unto you.”

     And right livelihood means that I should be careful in choosing a career that doesn’t involve gun-running, moonshining, or trading nuclear secrets to terrorists. Don’t work in a field that could endanger or kill some being, man or beast.

     The next three deal with the focus and reflection of life, and how we can enable the noble truths to act within us and to us.

Use Your

Joyful Effort

in

All Endeavors.

Meditate.

Concentrate.

          All will help uncover insight from within. You can use whatever words you like or feel comfortable with.

     Use mine if they help. I got them from others whose purpose in life was, and still is, to help bring a certain enlightenment to everybody while we are here, just being the loving kindness and compassion we want for everybody.

Sweat Lodge Reveals many Creative Spirits

     It took several hours for the effects of the Sweat Lodge ceremony to kick in, but when it did, I realized the control I always thought I needed was not in my hands, but in what the Greeks called the Fates; the Christians, God; and the Buddhists, Karma.

     A Divine source, referred to by some as the “Force,” the Divine Feminine, the Creator, has dealt a hand to play with our own free will. We get to choose which cards to keep and the ones to discard. By standing pat or by seeking new ones to “change our luck” or to improve our hand, we cast our lot to the future. None of us expects to lose or to face tragedy or a financial crisis. We hope for improvement, to enrich ourselves through our card-playing skills and years of studying the game of life.

     In the end, the winner is not necessarily the one who drew the highest hand – a royal straight flush versus a pair of kings and deuces. It is the player that can place the bet, and deal with the loss or win with equanimity, that emerges the victor. There is no win, there is no loss. There is just an awareness of the game and how to view it from a state of grace, the right frame of mind, the right attitude. All disappointments arise and end.

All Things Must Have a Beginning and an End

     All roller-coaster thrills must end. In understanding that everything that comes into my existence must someday leave, I can live with its impermanent nature more easily. Treat it the same whether it is good or bad, foul or fresh, holy or unholy. The moment of pleasure and the moment of dissatisfaction will pass. Each will arise and reach its crescendo of joy or sadness, and then each will fall, dissipating and returning from whence it came, leaving naught but a memory we can choose to relive or to drop if similar conditions arise to trigger its recall later.

     None of this was clear when the sweat poured out of me as 10 men and women crawled on hands and knees into the Sweat Lodge outside of Pottstown, PA. We took part in a ceremony honoring the “Great Spirit,” while offering prayers to the four corners of the earth and beyond. We sweated as the lodge leader spread bits of sage, tobacco, and other herbs onto the red-hot coals, causing an eruption of tiny flames that shot upwards and out of the stones but remained safely in a pit dug earlier to contain a total of some 15 hot, glowing rocks.

Prayers Offered for All Directions in the Lodge

     Each one had been baked in a much bigger pit built a slight distance outside of the lodge, where a stone-bearer had been heating them over a slow-burning fire for several hours. Two to four rocks were requested for each “sweat,” or prayerful focus in a given direction. We offered three prayers each for the West, the South, and the North.

     Then just as the sweat seemed to be unbearable for the likes of me, the number of prayers for the East increased to five, six, seven, eight, and beyond . . .  I lowered my head to the floor of the lodge, taking in the cooler air and praying a silent prayer that all the prayers would stop so that I could get the hell out of there!

     The prayers did stop, and we offered a blanket thanksgiving for all. I believe, however, that my silent prayer even helped to cleanse and purify me, removing and burning away the hellish traces of lower, base nature.

Did Not Favor Born-Again Christians

     Hours later, I revolted against a group of Born-Again Christians. All of them were what I called “lily whites.” The men wore handsomely tailored suits, and the women gorgeous dresses with just the right amount of jewelry. All appeared with the greatest tans that money and lots of free time at the beach could offer.

     “I don’t belong here,” I cried to my partner in crime, Melanie, a young Hispanic woman whose mother was raised in Colombia and passed on the natural shade of tan we ethnic types have acquired — her from South America, and me from the southern European countries like my father’s Greek homeland. She had left the sweat lodge and agreed to go with me on this next leg of my spiritual journey

     “They’re too white for me,” I said, pointing at their pale faces, their blonde heads, and the white hairs of their elderly wise ones. “I haven’t seen one Black,” I added. “We’re their token brown-skinned people.” Eventually, she helped me to overcome my resistance, and we entered the church even though Melanie was still a little wet from swimming in the pool after the sweat and unable to change out of the bra and other underthings that had gotten soaked!

Listening to the Performance of a Friend’s Daughter 

     There we were. Two “Recovering” Catholics, walking into the Valley Forge Baptist Church to take in the solo performance of the daughter of dear retired friends I had made while breakfasting at an IKEA restaurant in Conshohocken. They waved to us, and Melanie and I parted the sea of white folks and sat in a pew behind the proud parents. Their daughter played divinely, and despite an apparent ban against applauding in such a refined church of God, the audience cheered her and I whistled as loudly as the most boisterous fan at a Phillies/Mets game.

     A wonderful choir next offered every one the Sound of Angels. That was followed by a group of teens who had recently attended a church-sponsored camp in North Carolina who explained to the thousands of congregational members how Christ had entered into their lives and changed them forever. Each boy reminded me of a miniature “preacher-in-training” with the fervor of zealot for God, while the girls talked of the gentler side of a divine forgiveness, unconditional love, and spiritual camaraderie. Then Satan raised his ugly head.

Devil-like Preacher Wants Only Christian Music

     No, Lucifer made no appearance, although one of the adult preachers brought up his name while chastising the youth for listening to the foulest of foul music provided in the world today. He asked for money to develop Christian music as an alternative to evil sounds my generation had been warned against when Ed Sullivan chose not to show Elvis Presley’s lower parts on national television and “race songs” — those performed by Black artists and Doo Wop groups years ago got banned in Boston.

     I couldn’t wait to escape, bid farewell to the lovely white-haired couple who invited us, and put a distance between them and my sinful self. It was while I was drinking water in my car and reflecting on the day’s events that divine insight struck me like the proverbial bolt of lightning.

God and the Divine Spirit of the Cosmos are the same one we all talk about, but we use different     languages to praise and worship. He or she is the clear light, the Buddha Nature existing in all that we can tap into when we want to live a life that Jesus lived, or that Mohammed said was possible if we but give up our will and let a more powerful Will control the major part of our lives. Yes, we still have free choice, free will.

Look for Shekinah, the Feminine Side of God

     But we know where our internal moral compass is directing us to go. It tells us what is good or bad at the moment and that all we need do is seek the stillness and silence where a “Shekinah” — what the Hebrew language calls the “Feminine Side of God” — dwells. She is always available to guide us. Seek her out, this great spirit, this energy, this Great Vibration, and give up all resistance.
     You’ll find out you can do it with no sweat, and with no loss of anything God hadn’t planned for your personal purpose in life.

Living ‘mind-less-ly’ in the present moment

I am a shapeshifter. I’ve developed the ability over the past five years to shift from one form to another by simply manipulating my mind to do the bidding of my higher self. 

You see, there are two of “me inside of this shell of a body. There’s the “me” created by my ego, also known as “my mind,” and there’s also the “non-me,” the one that surfaces when the mind is gone. It is this entity, one that is pure consciousness, that takes over when the mind stops all of its thought processes.

The true spirit or energy mass that’s within me is always there, always in the present. I can’t connect to it when that part of “me” is dominant. I fail to be aware of the energy, the spirit’s existence. By halting and stopping my thoughts, however, the consciousness “arises” and takes over. Forms of all shapes and sizes come into focus. A flower, a tree . . . the wind on my face . . . the smell of garlic . . . the softness of a woman’s hand across my brow.

Our Consciousness Exists This Very Moment

If consciousness did not exist in the present, none of these forms would exist either. Think about it! If a tree falls in a forest, does it make a sound? Well, we know you have two parts to such an auditory phenomenon. If there is no one to hear sound, then you cannot have sound. If your consciousness is not present, then you cannot have . . . well, fill in the blank.

And, if your consciousness is always being placed on hold by the mind that always wants to think up reasons, excuses and answers to something for the future or from the past, then the forms that exist in front of our eyes, within the earshot of our hearing, the taste of the mouth, the smell of the nose, the touch of a hand, then how can we say they truly exist? Yes, a flower will appear to our senses, but our thoughts will not include its beauty, its texture, its “poetic-ness,” so to speak.

Fear, anxiety, and depression cannot exist in the present without the support, nay, perhaps the “leading role” played by the mind. Just think. You stop thinking, and you stop the worry, the confusion, the lack of wholesome goodness inside of you. Without your mind insisting that you continually think of something, that thing will eventually disappear, diminish, or slide off the radar screen.

Consciousness Arises in the Present Moment

All you need to do is place your awareness like a laser beam onto one of your five senses. Focus as if your life depended on it. Life in the present moment does depend on you living in the present, sans thoughts of any kind, sans the emotions that go with the thoughts, whether we like them or not. Thoughts trap us, entice us to cling to them, to always be grasping for their contents, their so-called can’t-live-without-them ideas, concepts, and a whatnot or two.

So, I shape shift. I will my inner being to focus on my breath, my five senses, and to stay fixed there for as long as it takes for the mind to quiet down, come to rest, and hibernate. The present opens to me like a flower. I “shape” the moment like the observer shaping reality in a particle/wave shape-shifting quantum physics laboratory experiment.

Now, I am more in the moment than I have ever been, with thoughts of the moment, which, incidentally, never really existed.

Can’t Always Think You’re in the Moment

You can’t “think” of the moment, the present. You lose it as soon as you call forth the idea. By the time it is “formed,” time has passed you by. The present has long gone. You’re someplace other than that present moment when your mind thought it could pin the present down to the now. Now is gone from the mind’s eye, as soon as the mind starts to eye it through the thought process.

It’s the “thought-less process” you need to be in and recognize the present. You have to “feel” it, experience it, live it. You’ll love it more and more as you return to it.

Just think about it. Now, stop. Be it. Be in the now right now.

Breathing to ‘Right Self’ is a Lifetime Job

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Eating Meditation Tastes so Good Now

What can I teach you, Little One? What will I impart to you that you can carry with you when you feel the need to touch the Source you crave so much?

You have chosen to come closer to your spirit. It resides within, but your thoughts of this world prevent you from seeing the larger world inside. Now I must take your hand and walk you to the table, sit you down, and “show” you how to show yourself the easiest way to Nirvana.

     Eat!
Sit quietly, close your eyes, and chew each bite over and over again. Eat while guiding your thoughts to the food you’re processing inside the instrument God created for us to truly nourish ourselves. Bite the food ever so gently and chew it.

Chew for All who Help Provide the Food

Chew for the farmer that planted the seeds in the ground that helped the rainwater seep into it, and the sun to open it to the atmosphere above, where day after day it grew more and more until removed from its home by loving hands that gathered it for market.

Chew for the driver that delivered the food to a processor who cleaned, shaped, and bundled the food to prepare it for display on supermarket shelves for customers like your mother to pick and choose while planning to feed you at our dinner table.

Chew and then chew again for what the nutrients each bite will offer.

Chewing with All Teeth is Downright Delicious

Now for the fun part: chew for the taste of it. Yes, chew with all of your teeth, including those near the back of the mouth that see less work when one hastily runs through the daily task of eating. When you chew this way, taste buds that have not awoken in many years suddenly awake, surprising you with how rich and downright delicious the food substance can be. It’s like discovering a treasure hidden right beneath your nose!

Eating meditation is this game. Gaining wisdom and inside knowledge is the aim. But you can’t do this alone. Be constantly aware of the other tool given to us to practice our journey with the breath.

I’m asking you to walk and chew gum at the same time, got it? Actually, you should breathe and chew each morsel simultaneously, “sensing” or “feeling” the food and the air. Be cognizant of each. Focus on nothing but them until you can widen your scope of awareness to include other parts of your body, the parts that tense up without us even thinking about it.

Focus on Tense Areas of Body while Chewing

I bet you dollars to donuts that if you take a survey of yourself now, you’d feel some tenseness in the body, particularly in the shoulders. Go there. Focus your mind there, not once, but often during the eating process. I don’t know why, but we tense up a lot. Even when there appears to be no earthly reason to “be on guard,” we stay as coiled as a metal spring waiting to force a jack-in-the-box to pop out to warn us of danger, a threat, or possibly some other leftover primordial reflex action.

Calm down. Calm down the body just as you’re calming down the mind by focusing on the where, the how, and the why of the food in your mouth. You fooled yourself into not thinking wayward thoughts while chewing again and again.

Time to swallow and feel the passageway the food now travels. (Check on those shoulders and loosen them again!)

Compassion Arises when Food is for Thought

Practice this technique when you are alone, Little One. Practice it with like-minded persons who understand that the way to one’s heart can be through his or her stomach. Love and compassion arise when you choose to make food for thought.

Truly Living May Just Be Worth Dying For

The thought of going to prison never bothered me. I’d survive and flourish behind bars, where I’d have more than enough time to reflect and write which I have found is my true love in life.

No, I could kill without worrying about the consequences. It would be my first offense. I am certified as a Vietnam veteran with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and I don’t see any judge or jury putting me to death for the crime.

All of this went through my mind when I was waiting at the train platform, and a rather tall, white guy walked in front of me. I was standing near the tracks. I was close enough and in line with others standing on either side of me that I never thought someone could make their way between me and the tracks. But the man did. He walked around me. He stood directly in front of me. No one else stood that close. I recall thinking how totally inappropriate and rude his actions were.

That’s when I Planned to Kill Him. 

I know how to kill, having been trained in the infantry and as a parachutist who learned not to care about pain. I got used to it, and bared up under it so many times, it became almost second nature to welcome it during a new and challenging task. Like murder.

No, I don’t know any Kung Fu or any martial arts. But I could break the man’s neck from behind. And, if that failed, I would wrestle him to the ground and die before letting him get up as I smashed his head again and again on the platform, caring not a whit about the mess I’d make. I’m strong. More importantly, I’m strong-willed.

Breaking an unwritten Rule is Dishonorable

     He deserved to die, I rationalized and actually saw myself as a champion of the underdogs who play by the rules on train platforms. You have to honor another person’s space. You can’t stand too close to another person until or unless you see the train pulling up, and everyone tightens up the ranks, bunching together to stand at the spot you believe the train steps will come to a halt.

Why break such a rule? Why place yourself in front of someone else just because you’re taller than them are? Or younger? Or slicker? Someone like me may just kill you and use the opportunity to leave behind a staid and predictable life that’s losing whatever meaning it once may have had.

My action could be considered justifiable in a weird sort of way. No, not in a legal sense, but in a Karmic sense, if you know what I mean. I’d create some negative karma but prevent others from getting such negativity in their thoughts and desires to kill as much as I wanted to kill him. I saved them and the rest of all sentient beings a large and cumulative amount of negative karma, that I could be considered a saint in some religions.

Watching my Speech, Thoughts and Relations Now

I bring this up now only because I asked the Universe to correct my old way of life. Certain actions occurred in response to my wishes.

But instead of acting, I became a “watcher.”  I was no longer the actor, but someone above myself looking down on my speech, my thoughts, my relations with others and events that became ripened by different causes and conditions.

No, I killed no one. But I entered a state of mind where I saw a different reality. A reality that has always been there but was blocked by my mind. My mind kept me busy with one thought after another: a fear here, an anxiety there. It jumped from an emotional thought from my past to a future where nothing, but catastrophes existed. And then my mind would race, with me having no control of it.

     I feel better now. I control my mind even in the most disastrous moments of life. Who’s to say they’re disastrous? Not me. Not anymore. I’ve gained the equanimity to treat the glorious and the profane the same way. As an observer. Not a slave to emotional and useless thoughts. Just an observer of the thoughts.

Try it.

     It Could be Worth Dying For . . .

Yearning for you grows with each touch

     What is a monk to do when he is lonely? When he is blue?

     When you reach that low point where you feel you are the loneliest person in the world, who or what do you turn to for relieve? 

    The Dalai Lama says, “Don’t scratch the itch.” Better still, he cautions, “Don’t have the itch in the first place.” I paraphrase His Holiness‘ words, but not their meaning. * Don’t have the itch in the first place.

     That may be easy for a virgin entering monastic life as an adolescent. But what do you tell a grown man or woman who had not entered their spiritual path until experiencing the warmth, comfort and love in the arms of truly caring and compassionate mate?

     Something so good could not be so bad.

Experiences that Unite can Last a Lifetime   

     Even years later when one has only a dim memory of giving oneself completely to another so that both could share the ecstasy that Buddhist say comes only upon death — and in sexual union! It can be an out-of-body experience that unites, shattering the dualistic mind, if only for a second or for a lifetime.

     Should I give up this yearning for the mere touch of another? Should I mark it up as just another depravity on my part, a defilement that my mind causes in my dreams and my waking hours?

     Why has such an overwhelming sense of sexuality come over me as I draw nearer and nearer to spirituality?

(By clicking on the following sentences, you will be linked with my book “Ithaca Insights.”)

     Take on a consort, Michael J. Didn’t Buddha have a wife and child? Didn’t Shakyamuni Buddha, or Siddhartha, take a Dakini on as a consort in one of his many incarnations?

     Who, then, are those lovely women I see sitting on the knee of a Buddha? And what can a bodhisattva do when a woman wraps her most intimate parts around his most private ones in those paintings that suggest Nirvana can be reached through some tantric practice with an able and willing partner?

     Forgive me for still being human. I dreamed I felt the warmth of another as we rode an escalator together, and our shoulders came into contact immediately. The contact remained throughout the time it took to scale the short distance. The warmth from the touch lasted for what seemed like forever. I never wanted the ride to end, for the shoulder to be removed. I could have died and been happy right then and there.

     I awoke and felt compelled to plead my case to the Universe, hoping I’d get the answer my soul could live with. Break it to me gently, please.

     I’ll return to my cave after the verdict.

* * * *

*(If one is itchy, then one scratches himself.
Better than any number of scratches
However, it is when one does not itch at all.”

— His Holiness the Dalai Lama quoting Nagarjuna, the Indian scholar, with a three-line thought on the question of Erotic Love.