I wanted so much to be the Queen’s Concert.
But at what age? What stage of her life called out to me the most, as we, the audience members, watched her grow into a Spiritual goddess, one I desired to be like, to become with as One?
I wanted so much to be the Queen’s Concert.
But at what age? What stage of her life called out to me the most, as we, the audience members, watched her grow into a Spiritual goddess, one I desired to be like, to become with as One?
“Make yourself a Rav, and buy for yourself a friend.”
— Rabbi Yehoshua Ben Perachya
Could never relate to the old “Church Lady” that seemed so righteous and God-fearing.
You know, the one that constantly quoted the Bible and swore everything you ever wanted to know about anything could be found in “The Good Book.”
All these feelings flashed through me as I slowly came out of what seemed like a trance, halfway between sleep and wakefulness, only to notice growth at a part of my body where there was none before.
Swimming meditation can work. You heard it here first. One can “nudge” out most thoughts and focus on the “here and now” as you swim one lap after another. I did. Got so relaxed, I lost count for a while, but then didn’t care how many lengths I had traversed.
“I love you” was not in the way you said it, but how you said it.
That’s why I gave you the purple roses. You meant every word you said. Straight from your heart. And you revealed a glimpse of the Creator through your loving kindness and compassion.
Oh, you don’t love me like a woman loves a man. You’re married. Happily. And, I wasn’t seeking romantic involvement. Just a friend to tell me face to face what the most beloved mothers would tell a son or a daughter. “I love you.” Unconditionally as a sister to a brother, a daughter to a father. One Kabbalist to another.
See, I chose to “buy a friend” in you several weeks ago. Don’t you remember? At the last Congress in Philadelphia, I learned you studied Buddhism and was raised a Sufi, familiar with both my “Beloved” and the “Middle Path” to Enlightenment. How could some novice like me not fall in love with your Spirit, your Devotion, your Love for all Creation. (Including that male cat of yours peeing in inappropriate places since your son-in-law showed up and your house underwent renovations!)
Sincere Words Awaken the Spirit in My Psyche
I felt loved as soon as you spoke those words, unhesitatingly, with just the right amount of tenderness to convince me they were sincere. And they were . . . in the context of what we’re seeking together. Love for all humanity, starting with our community, all the men, women and children exposing themselves to a mystery kept hidden from you and me for 2,000 years. It’s now ours for the asking.
And I’m asking. Tell me you love me. Just one more time. And, every time I need it. That could be every day for the rest of my days with this Soul, or when 6,000 years toward Final Correction arrives, whichever comes first.
“Make for yourself a Rav, and buy for yourself a friend.”
— Rabbi Yehoshua Ben Perachya
Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have cursed out drivers on the open highway and prayed their mothers had never conceived them. In or at of wedlock, those dirty b . . . . . .
It’s road rage, I fear. A sin I commit almost every time I’m behind the wheel. I want to be good and not dwell on others’ transgressions, but the temptation is too great. And wanting to do bodily harm to inconsiderate drivers has become a “near occasion” of sin for me.
The following represents the many times I took the Lord’s name in vain when another either committed driving affronts or failed to commit courteous driving actions, thus precipitating my evil inclination to do away with them:
‘…confess my sins and do penance…’
I firmly resolve with the help of thy Grace never to beep that white-hair lady, or curse an inconsiderate driver again. So Help Me, God!
Requested a dollar coffee at a Burger King last night and the Gidget-like youngster asked if she could serve a “Senior.”
No, I replied, not wanting anything more or less then what’s on a “dollar menu” for cup I could refill, if need be. I handed over $1.06 in change, placing it carefully on the counter in front of the short blonde teenage girl. “It’s 50 cents,” she quipped, all bright and full of sunshine. “It’s a senior cup.”
I dove into a World of Make Believe, changing from one past life to another while underwater and on land yesterday.
Felt disconnected from the World as I knew it yesterday.
When my father spoke Greek with the disciplinarian of the Catholic High School where I played hooky at age 14, I thought I had it made.
Continue readingEach day for twenty years, the spirit of Don Quixote welcomed me into my law office. This picture hung above my desk reminding me that it was the “impossible cases” a good public defender relished. The ones you didn’t expect to win, but somehow, now and then, you’d convince a jury to see the facts your way, which in most cases, was the right way.
Continue readingI was so low, I was willing to forego this body and offer my spirit to someone, anyone who’d have a greater chance of gaining enlightenment than me. Give to someone who was nearing to what Kabbalists call the final “correction” of all of one’s egotistical desires.
You invited me to your House, and I broke confidence in you.
Heard some Christian minister was planning to set fire to a Muslim Holy Book, the Quran, to mark the Anniversary of 9-11 this Saturday, September 11, 2010.
Give without seeking a thing in return. Oh, I’ll get pleasure out of the deal. But I’ll put a lid on it. Screen out the joy that can overwhelmingly fill me, and direct the bulk of that feeling to another. Deflect it to one needing nurturing that only a mother’s love could offer her youngest child.
Thank You Amy. Let the Good Times Roll!You don’t know how hard this is for me. To do nothing! Forget about the better part. The word “better“ implies you’ve been able to do “nothing” sometime in the past. Or that you can do nothing “better” than someone else.
Rain pours on me outside, while soft music warms me on the inside. “Abraham, Martin, and John,” the song, plays from this relatively new gadget called a portable, hand-held, transistor radio.
Sat next to a long hair, skinny, “Hippie” guy at an orientation in a community college yesterday, and felt thrown back to a time years ago, sitting cross-legged on the floor across from a similar fellow wondering what the hell I was doing there.
Got Blanket Absolution yesterday. And, it felt so good, I became a 12-year-old again. Ready to face the world with a clear conscious and a pure heart.
I see You more and more each day. All I need do, is look for You. Kinda scrunch up my mind a bit, squint, and let my Self go.
Try to “feel” You. And I do! All Blessed You. In just the right amount to fill a soul that wishes it were bigger, larger to contain more and more of Your Love that’s omnipresent, all around me. And in me.
How do you explain “unexplainable” events?
You use your reason, of course. There is a rational, scientific basis for nearly everything, if you look deep enough. Right? And what we don’t know today, some learned person will help us understand tomorrow. Or the next age of scientific discovery and advancement in Society.
The pain feels like someone thrust a spear in my back. That I was in battle. At the city of Troy. Fighting with fellow Greeks for the foolish prize of a minor King’s run-a-way, but lovely, wife, Helen. She with a face that will launch a thousand ships.
Felt I was back in war maneuvering through a mine field called the new educational system yesterday.
Continue readingA gentle “pull” manifested in my Life recently. I noticed it last night while driving and wanted no more than to live in each passing moment.
You can keep the promotion. Wouldn’t take it, even if offered. Not if I have to make “achievements” my aim, to set a new “goal” in Life.
Start over. That’s all I gotta do . . . Say it to myself and simply “START OVER!”
Lying in bed with one crazy, mixed up thought after another, I told myself to “start over.” Did not know what I meant. But I did mean it.
It’s just like heaven . . . Being here with you . . . You’re like an Angel. Too good to be true. When You are near me. My heart skips a beat. I can hardly stand on. My own two feet. Because I Love You; I Love You, I Do. ‘Angel Baby’. My ‘Angel Baby’. Oh, Ooh, I Love You, Oh, Ooh, I Do . . . No One Could Love You . . . Like I Do!
I also got involved with the Newspaper Guild and our local at the newspaper level. I took part in union negotiations, usually being one of the lone holdouts to ensure that some clerk or underpaid dispatcher could get a few extra dollars in their paycheck. I enjoyed the give and take and the high drama that developed at contract time. Will there be a strike? How much is the company willing to contribute to the pension? Will there be “givebacks” this time? How secure will I be with a new contract?
What happened in the Vietnam War is another story, but my next Angel appeared as a burly Scottish neighbor of my parents, who had moved from the inner city of Philadelphia to one of its suburbs, Wayne, Pa. “What will you major in at college, Laddy?” the neighbor asked when I visited my folks advising them that I would be using their address to attend the Delaware County Community College. (I lived outside the county and would have had to pay double the amount if I didn’t fudge the location of my domicile.)
That’s when I started to recruit guys my age, none of whom had been exposed to the Black neighborhoods where Jackie and I met others to sing. I introduced them to “oldies” they had never heard of, particularly from their mostly Lilly White AM Radio Stations like WIBG or WIP.
I was raised on WDAS with “Georgie Woods, the man with the Goods,” and Jocko Henderson, who played what, I later learned, was “race‘ music in the industry. Well, it was this “race” music that was crossing over from Blacks to Whites that caused Rock & Roll to skyrocket and carve a musical niche for teenagers where there was none before.
Billy Kane, and Carl Disler — both friends from more White neighborhoods — got into the music as I met up with the most talented of our future group, Joe Cleary, who would later go on to make records and appear at music shows. But it was the legacy of Jackie Toy that helped to bring this group together, a group that would eventually perform on television and be offered a minor record contract.
Jackie Toy touched me with the music and helped to direct me into a full appreciation of not only music but the cross-racial harmony we found with our Black friends, those who would sing their hearts out to passersby near old Columbia Avenue or at 29th and Girard. That appreciation of each other had broadened into other fields and has survived a lifetime, and I thank Jackie Toy for “being there” and helping me cross the color line.
The whirlwind created through my meditation blew from one angel to another in my life. Next came my brother George, forced to join the army when caught burglarizing the Big Moose Bar in North Philly and carting away several cases of beer and soda. The blind lawyer retained by my father pleaded with an assistant district attorney and got a judge to render an alternative sentence: either join the army or go to jail. George went straight… to boot camp.
My brother, the high school dropout, ended up making a career in the army, obtaining his GED, and a full Army scholarship to complete college, and then he earned a master’s degree shortly before his retirement following 20 years of service.
But it was in 1968, shortly after the “Summer of Love,” that brother George donned his wings and an angelic ally whispered into my ears: “Go to OCS.”
OCS? What the hell is that I wondered. Officers Candidate School. A six-month program that groomed young men to be leaders of soldiers in battle. I was 19 at the time. No college, having barely gotten through trade school — Dobbins Tech — learning the printers’ trade. No background in athletics, hunting, or even one of the advanced levels of the Boy Scouts of America.
Yet, he helped direct me to the military school, where I became the second youngest to graduate in my class and found myself leading a combat infantry platoon in the Vietnam War shortly afterward. Thanks a lot, brother!
See Part IV at Angels 4
In a few days, my subconscious worked over my dream of Socrates. I can remember and once again say the name of the second gentleman as none other than Plato, the Greek teacher who dealt with reality, with the spirit, and with life beyond what our senses simply pick up.
But by then, I had my first taste of courtroom advocacy and man did I become energized! Trial work involved cross-examination, closing arguments, and the ability to “argue” in front of a captive audience. Paul Messing, my advocacy instructor, became my next Angel when he directed me into becoming a “litigator,” presenting me with the award of “Barrister” for the best advocate and providing an “in” for an interview with the Philadelphia Defender Association, which had just been named the best in the country.
I had suffered from a cold when I closed my eyes and settled into my seat for meditation. I was hurting and aching from the illness, perhaps even having a slight fever, when I rapidly descended into a deep zone. My thoughts came to a stop, my shoulders, neck, and other parts of a tense body grew limp and thoroughly relaxed. I slowly felt the mind and the body joining in a “slow down,” where I would find that state of nothingness that allows me to simply Be in The Moment.
The Greatest Weekend — No. II
Psalm 46: Continue reading
Walked a Labyrinth and stepped into Vietnam last night.
Trouble is . . . I liked it. Did not want to leave the maze despite what lay ahead. Strangely, I felt “safe” there. Secure in my “skills.” Didn’t want to come home. Just like years earlier.
The one you see, hear and experience daily. And another one, where you pass through a veil that causes Amnesia once you step all the way through. You no longer have a past. You have no concern for the future, since you’ve accepted the fact that all you really need in this “New” world will be provided.
Joined a Meet Up which will require me to read and discuss something called “Kabbalah,” a belief system revered by Jewish mystics. Felt I was being “called” to explore it. Read a post by a fellow Greek, which led me to surf to a site on Kabbalah Yoga, and left a lengthy comment on a technique called the “ten-five rhythm.” You breathe in for 10 seconds, hold for five, and release for another 10.
Next, you “visualize” something that I’ve done on my own for over a year now and have never been able to accurately put into words or feel someone else on this Planet would understand.

Seeking, I’m Always Seeking
That’s the message I got from the site and it resonated inside, almost forcing me to want to know more. I googled “Kabbalah,” “Philadelphia Yoga,” five or six others terms I thought of, and couldn’t find anything remotely close to this reference of the heart. You see, I’ve experienced that sensation dozens of times while meditating.
Feeling love “pour out” of me and into the Cosmos because my small 5’6″-frame was too small, too inadequate, to contain the volume of energy flowing through me. I gotta let it out, and I’ve described that “opening process” as a “feeding of myself” — my essence — to those unloved in this world, this universe. The sick old man in Calcutta; the lonely orphan in Bangladesh; the desperate single mother in Birmingham, Alabama; the lost little Greek boy in Conshohocken, Pennsylvania.
Found a Kabbalah site outside Philadelphia (KABBALAH-BNEI-BARUCH-PHILADELPHIA). Read a few comments, saw several names with Ph.Ds and rabbi attached to ’em, and read a description of the organizers who seem to be searching as much as I have the past two years. Not sure what I’m searching for . . . maybe answers . . . Peace . . . God . . . Enlightenment. Perhaps all the above.
Committed myself to attending a Congress for Kabbalistic Practitioners meeting locally to discuss whatever serious Kabbalah students talk about. ( See: Kabbalah Mega Congress 2010.) Hope we’ll focus on the same God that Abraham spoke to, and who fathered three religions, one for the Jews, another for the Christians, and the third with the Muslims. According to my limited Kabbalah reading, one can find traces of the Jewish language in Hinduism, Buddhism, and, of course, many of our New Age beliefs.
All came from one single language, according to one view of the Kabbalah.
May have been more to the Story about Babylon than what I thought.
Don’t plan to convert. Just became a Buddhist, and have yet to break in my new sandals and robe. Think I’ll like this path. If I can pick from what my heart tells me is “True.”
Back talk. Anyone experiencing pain might know where I’m headed. My back is talking loud and clear, and no matter what I do, I can’t shut it up.
You opened my heart to something I closed years ago.
Not ready to look inside. Almost, but not just yet.
Your words touched me with a warmth I haven’t felt in a long time. They caressed me, and I liken it to a mother’s love and pride I couldn’t handle at the family reunion last Saturday.
I “Come Alive” inside, as my body comes to a complete rest and I let the mind follow suit. Sound boring? It’s anything but! And it’s been one of the toughest things I’ve ever attempted.
Couldn’t do it some 30 years ago when I tried to “halt” my active state of mind. Thought I “got through” and tamed the busy monkey once or twice, but it was wishful thinking on my part.
Bizarre! Is this just a Curse?
Or a Wish for Good Fortune?
Not sure where this came from. Was meditating on the subject of “stillness,” and tracing my awareness of the world around and inside, when these words “arose.”
Laughing so hard, the five of us had to hush up, quiet down to prevent diners at the other restaurant tables from staring at our ruckus.
What caused all the belly laughs and guffaws? God. Well, let’s say the Spirit of God. How about something ‘Spiritual, but not Religious?’ Would you believe “Mystical?”
He rode the rails from East to West Coast, eating chicken and other foods he’d “gather” during the years crossing this great land, even ending up in Alaska, where he prospected for gold.
I never felt more like Don Quixote than when I represented a woman charged with a crime.
And while I didn’t want it, I’d feel called to “champion” her, even when it cost me my reputation, my sanity and my very career as a trial attorney.  Continue reading
I felt the pain all the way to the emergency room, believing the knife was still lodged there. I could not tell . . . I dare not turn to try to see or touch it.
Vivienne, you asked what I liked about the book “To Mister God, this is Anna.” All of the following are the direct quotes of the author Fryn, also known as Sydney Hopkins:
“Mister God wants you to be ‘I Am,’ like he is.”
“This is the curious nature of Mister God: that even while he is at the center of all things, he waits outside us and knocks to come in. It is we who open the door; Mister God doesn’t break it down and come in; no, he knocks and waits. Continue reading
Wasn’t sure a Gospel Song would fit in with Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs) at a music appreciation meet last week.
Still can’t understand why I chose Bobby Darin, the “Splish Splash” originator, to represent my musical taste. We were encouraged by the hosts, a young couple, to bring music that meant a lot to us, perhaps meditative offerings and/or those pieces that represented a special time in our lives.
Their probe followed closely on the heels of a police officer who paid us an unsolicited visit.
A neighbor complained of the Sombitch Rooster, who could not keep crowing to a minimum and has raised such a ruckus, so we have to find him a new home, away from the Philadelphia area, and some less dense place like New Jersey.
Potential Employer — 6-21-2010
A person could not go wrong in hiring Nataly for a job. She’d bring an “Old World“ spirit to the task and put all of herself in accomplishing the service no matter what the field, no matter what the subject.
Those are the words Jesus said on reappearing in public in 2012.
The Kingdom of God is Within, He added.
But each of us must seek it ourselves through ourselves.”
When I first saw the term, I thought of Zorba the Greek, played by Anthony Quinn, who embraced the fullness of life through robust emotions and actions. To laugh in the face of hardship and spit in the face of death, enjoying that special moment of life as if it was the last, and to hell with what anyone thinks.
To hell with negative thoughts. Live Life with the smile God meant us to project outwardly as well as within.
In at least one country, as a practicing attorney, I would not be permitted to speak to you of those two terms should you happen to be serving on a jury.
Continue readingI found the Meaning of Life while meditating with a group at the Resiliency Center in Ambler, PA this morning.
Felt like I was in a cave, where ten of us, seven women and three men, sat cross-legged before a fire. We had just “offered” prayers to a Spirit — a Being — high above us, and I was about to leave the security of the clan when I spoke aloud, breaking the silence.
Watched from within. Saw “me” facilitating and acting on all the senses. “I“ nudged away a thought, then focused on the feeling of breath at the top of my nasal passage. Tasted the slight chemical taint of eye drops I had placed in my left eye minutes earlier. And, I listened to the soft sounds of a budgie chirping in the distance.
Sometimes, while trying a case to a Jury of 12 people, a transformation would take place when I least expected it.
I’d begin to believe my criminal client had been truthful when he told me he was innocent and didn’t do what he was charged with by Philadelphia police.
Continue readingYour Dream just might come true. Over. . . and over . . . and over again.
Like trying a case to a jury my first day in the Major Trial Division of Philadelphia’s Common Pleas Court System.